Even though I came here to RP with my characters, for some reason I'm a bit anxious when it comes to actually looking for a RP. I just need to complete the third step of the tutorial, but I feel super-hesitant... how do you get over this feeling? Aside form "just shut up and do the thing," I mean.
Why do you feel anxious???
I think there is no real way to get over that feeling of anxiety. I have been RPing for a long time and even though I can get up and talk to a room full of strangers about impersonal topics it's never going to be the same thing as sharing something you truly care about. Especially when you play OC's. This isn't just a hobby, you are sharing something that is intimate in that it took a part of yourself to create something that you view as worth while. It may always scary to share that piece of yourself and know that there is always a chance that that it may be judged.
But with all that said, a big thing to remember is that the potential for benefit outweighs the bad. Obviously you're here to participate in in cooperative writing or you would simply have gone and started the long arduous process of constructing a book. The thought that you might find someone who matches you well is something that draws us all out no matter how hesitant to share our soft underbelly. Because you may have a new scar to show for it, but you might just get your tummy rubbed and that is oh so sweet.
For me I like to remind myself that 'the worst thing that can happen is nothing' because in the end if you throw up a post or an idea for a game and nobody responds, what was lost? Nothing. You can always try again, it isn't for lack of 'good' characters or writing it is simply because you need to try again. Perhaps evaluate the factors that may have led to 'nothing' and try again. but best case? Something wonderful happens.
It's just writing, it means a lot to us as RPers, but it is just writing. You can write, rewrite, plan, rehash, and if you don't like something always know it can be undone. A world sculpted with words and wrapped in safety of exploration. But to feel comfortable generally one must know that creation will be okay, just as you will be okay. For that I make this suggestion. Not to 'get over it' not to 'ignore the feeling' but to be open, honest and as understanding with others as you want them to be with you. Tell how you feel and try to get to know other writers.
Over time i have learned that it is very important to always be generous in RP, to ask people what they want but to also let them know what you want. Never expect, always voice. Kindly, with emotional maturity. That being open and honest is hard but is often worth it in the end because it brings creators closer and it offers a platform of understanding.
TLDR: Tell people how you feel, you might surprise yourself at the courage you find when you know others know you're certainly unsure.
But with all that said, a big thing to remember is that the potential for benefit outweighs the bad. Obviously you're here to participate in in cooperative writing or you would simply have gone and started the long arduous process of constructing a book. The thought that you might find someone who matches you well is something that draws us all out no matter how hesitant to share our soft underbelly. Because you may have a new scar to show for it, but you might just get your tummy rubbed and that is oh so sweet.
For me I like to remind myself that 'the worst thing that can happen is nothing' because in the end if you throw up a post or an idea for a game and nobody responds, what was lost? Nothing. You can always try again, it isn't for lack of 'good' characters or writing it is simply because you need to try again. Perhaps evaluate the factors that may have led to 'nothing' and try again. but best case? Something wonderful happens.
It's just writing, it means a lot to us as RPers, but it is just writing. You can write, rewrite, plan, rehash, and if you don't like something always know it can be undone. A world sculpted with words and wrapped in safety of exploration. But to feel comfortable generally one must know that creation will be okay, just as you will be okay. For that I make this suggestion. Not to 'get over it' not to 'ignore the feeling' but to be open, honest and as understanding with others as you want them to be with you. Tell how you feel and try to get to know other writers.
Over time i have learned that it is very important to always be generous in RP, to ask people what they want but to also let them know what you want. Never expect, always voice. Kindly, with emotional maturity. That being open and honest is hard but is often worth it in the end because it brings creators closer and it offers a platform of understanding.
TLDR: Tell people how you feel, you might surprise yourself at the courage you find when you know others know you're certainly unsure.
Remind yourself that roleplay is a hobby, it's something that should be done for fun! When you find other people who have a style that meshes well with yours, writing becomes a great stress reliever. I consider it one of my healthiest hobbies. You get the literary joy of reading with the mental exercise of writing back. Finding a steady RP partner or group takes trial and error, not all will work out, one or more of you might change your style along the way. But that's alright. The RP community is such a diversified setting that you're sure to find compatible imaginations out there! At the end of the day, it's all a game, no pressure.
Kruhee wrote:
I think there is no real way to get over that feeling of anxiety. I have been RPing for a long time and even though I can get up and talk to a room full of strangers about impersonal topics it's never going to be the same thing as sharing something you truly care about. Especially when you play OC's. This isn't just a hobby, you are sharing something that is intimate in that it took a part of yourself to create something that you view as worth while. It may always scary to share that piece of yourself and know that there is always a chance that that it may be judged.
I feel this. A lot. Deeply.
I always make original characters, and anything from making a name to picking a physique can spring up a thousand reasons to not do something a certain way. Once doubt sets in, it can be a real pain. I've actually stopped using profiles for most things, just because I hate all the tom-foolery that can spring up on both ends when all I want is to write with friends. Such a drag.
My advice is really to throw your ideas out and see what bites, even if you aren't concrete on the exact character details. If you can get the idea solid enough to be something you yourself would be in to, you might come to the rest of it with a helping hand. I mean... there's no reason you have to go it alone, either in character design or rp concepts on the whole. ^__^ Best of luck.
Thanks, guys. What gets me the most is the fear of "butting in" to something- like, dropping in on an RP and then finding I've dropped into the wrong place at the wrong time, or that my characters don't fit in. I guess that can be fixed by being judicious with the RPs I join, though.
Sami-Fire wrote:
Thanks, guys. What gets me the most is the fear of "butting in" to something- like, dropping in on an RP and then finding I've dropped into the wrong place at the wrong time, or that my characters don't fit in. I guess that can be fixed by being judicious with the RPs I join, though.
I think this may be a big fear for a lot of people, honestly though here is a way of thinking about it. 'Nobody fits,' that's just sort of the human condition. But as long as you do your best and create posts that you yourself look at as worth time to read you really can't go wrong. If you truly feel you can't just post in, ask if it's okay. If you get a 'yes' it means that they want you there. And should know that even though the insecurity might linger (because let's face it that's what insecurity does) then at least logically you can tell yourself it's 'all in your head.'
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