Forums » RP Discussion » Thoughts on age and RP

Hello!

Recently I was contacted by another Rper who wanted to RP. After some discussion we did not end up picking up an RP together because of difference in opinion. So out of curiosity I wanted to hear other people's opinion on Role Play and age.

It is with your own discretion that you place your age on your profile however if you choose not to and ask to role play with someone would you be offended if they asked whether or not you were eighteen or older? In this case the role play was not set for any sexual contact but the theme would of been very gruesome as well as full of things such as bad language etc. (Mind you I am not really concerned with age if it is some very disney like role play with happy themes and a more general positive outlook however the requested role play was very much not that.)

Do you think it rude or inconsiderate to the other player to question their age before taking on such an RP? Would you choose to ignore the fact that they refused to even agree that they are over 18 and take on the role play anyway?

Not in the slightest. Just like they have the right to hide their age on the profile, you have the right to question something that you might be uncomfortable with; like writing dark content with a minor.

I agree! It is in a sence looking out for yourself too. If you aren’t comfortable writing themes of that sort with a minor, you have the right to say no. Besides, it wouldn’t be much fun to say yes if you aren’t alright with it and have to force yourself to respond so often. I’m Seventeen by the way.

We're actually required to be careful when engaging others in roleplay regarding age and adult content of any kind. Whether intentional or not, if it turns out you've engaged in inappropriate roleplay with a minor it can turn into legal matters, for you as well as RPR.

As a general rule, I only RP with people who are 18 or older. That way I never have to worry about content so long as it's agreed upon by all parties. If a person's age isn't posted, I'll ask them if they're over 18 or not. I've never had anyone get offended by that; I'm not asking their specific age, just if they're an adult by US standards. Anyone who did get upset or refuse to answer, I would politely decline an RP with. I try to respect other people's choices and boundaries while maintaining my own.

If someone gets annoyed with you because you asked their age before engaging in writing you consider adult, that's a red flag. Don't write with that person.

I admit, I tend not to ask BUT I would be pretty freaked out to learn that someone i'd rped adult themes with was under legal age. Because it's ME who'd get in trouble, being the adult.

thankfully I don't really rp smut, the most "adult" my rps get is swearing and maybe some minor violence. I figure if it's something a tween can watch on daytime tv (heck, CSI is on daytime tv for goodness sake!) then i'm probably safe enough.

But if I was going to do something with mature themes and was concerned about that content I might want to know the other person was of an age that they could handle it. But this also applies to other sensitive topics, it's always worth making sure things are okay with your writing partner before going near any sensitive subjects.

I moderate a chatroom for a children's toy line so I talk to young people rather a lot, but it's been quite an eye opener over the years seeing quite how well... open some kids can be with complete strangers. It's rather concerning and I have had to lecture several 12 year olds on NOT telling complete strangers anything that could be use to find them irl. It's made me slightly more paranoid but also honed my "is this a kid and are they okay?" senses. it's my JOB to keep those kids safe after all, and it's a job I take very seriously.

Unfortunately given how easy it is to lie about who you are online, sadly, there are going to be situations where you end up chatting to someone who's not who they say they are (on both sides.)

it's not always easy to tell age by how they type and i've been caught by that a few times. Had someone I was CONVINCED was a kid turn out to be a grown adult who was just weird and had someone I was certain was at least 16/17 turn out to be 14.

But the rule applies no matter what. DO NOT engage in adult only content without confirming the age of the person you're rping with first. It's just sensible. No you can't prove it, but you have to at least try to confirm it rather than just assuming. It's on you, the grown up, to do so.

If they won't at least confirm they're an adult then it's best to just walk away. It's not worth the legal implications should their parent finally decide to actually parent and see what they're being exposed to.

I've noticed that this topic seems to pop up every few months or so in one form or another, and my answer is always the same, in one form or another, but it is fairly simple in it's own way.

I've seen too many examples of the kind of mistakes that arise from these situations. Lives can get ruined. Some lives can actually get ended.
Trust doesn't figure into these situations. It doesn't matter how trustworthy someone is, because A: it's illegal, and B: someone else with knowledge of the situation could be the one who reports it. Maybe a friend gets pissed off, or a parent grounds a child and reads a chat log. No matter who does it, someone's life could be over, even from just an allegation.

^^^^^
My thoughts exactly

I agree with the sentiments presented here. If someone is asking me for an RP that is adult in nature, but is not willing to give me assurance that they are legal to participate... I am not willing to put myself in danger for Roleplay, regardless of how invested I may be.

I am thankful for so many replies. And I agree there is no reason to put yourself at risk when it comes to Role playing with a minor. While the role play was not sexually themed the person was asking for a scene that was not minor friendly in my opinion. And outright refusing to even state you are or are not over the age of 18 makes me assume you are likely under age. I am happy to see I am not the only one who feels that way either. I was feeling like perhaps I was being a jerk or inconsiderate to the person by requesting they at least tell me that they were 18 or older.

You should never feel like you are being a jerk or inconsiderate when protecting yourself. As JayBirb said, you should never sacrifice your own personal safety for an RP. It should be common sense, and anyone that pointedly makes you feel otherwise lacks common sense and decency. They are not worth RPing with.

Personally, children see TONS of gruesome violence and bad language in the video games and movies and TV shows that they watch.

I don't see a problem asking if they are over 18 years old though if the roleplay is going to include sexual content, as that is entirely different, but I never ever do smut, I am 21 years old and hate smut lol.

I wonder about this stuff sometimes. You can ask someone if they're over 18, but unless they reveal personal information, you'll never be sure. And if people do release personal information here, that can be used to scam, impersonate, or blackmail someone. Add in that in some places the age of consent is under 18.

If you are in a conversation with someone, and where they are, they are legally an adult, but where you are, they are not, what is the legal status of that? If they release information to you in good faith, and you squirrel it away to scam them or blackmail them later, then they seriously harmed themselves over an RP, no matter what.

Bottom line, it's really a matter of trust.

RPR is an American website, thus subject to American laws. You and your partner could both be in countries with much lower ages of consent, doing things that are perfectly legal in your respective countries, and RPR can/would still get in deep legal poodoo.

I agree with all the statements above but I get the feelings behind it. I know a lot of younger generation people dont seem to get the idea behind what it means to break the law. Even doing so much as a adult roleplay with a minor could get you in a lot of trouble, just being banned form this site is the least of your troubles.

I do wish people who are under 18 would understand a bit more behind this, I don't like to roleplay with anyone under 18 because I am not great at monitoring myself as a barely over the age of 18 person. I cuss a lot, so do some of my characters, some are strictly meant for adult themes. I had one time where I was asking someone their age because they wanted to play with a character of mine who was rather vulgar and immodest but they were refusing to give their age, acting more carefree about it but I said I wouldn't start an rp with them with until I did and they revealed to me to be under the age of 16, so I had to apologize and say I couldn't roleplay with them with said character.