It seems that whenever I do an rp where a person has to do a billion paragraphs that over explain and seem to create walls of text, I get kicked to the curb when I attempt 2 or 3 well written paragraphs
This has happened so often that it is beginning to really make me an angry boy. Can anyone please explain the thought process?
This has happened so often that it is beginning to really make me an angry boy. Can anyone please explain the thought process?
Different people will look for different things in an RP. I haven't seen any samples of your writing or RP'd with you before so I'm only hazarding a guess here;
Do you make it clear from the beginning that your post limit is a 'set' 2-3 well-written paragraphs? Some people, when saying they want a multi-paragraph poster in a partner, are looking for the miniature novel approach. It could be as simple as clarifying up front, before you begin an RP, exactly how much they can expect from you to write. Perhaps you could give them a post sample as well so they can see your writing style? Most disappointments like this come from a person's expectations not being met; clearly yours aren't as you've had difficulty with people ending RP's. Best I can think of in terms of a solution is being entirely upfront right from the get go, if you're not already.
It may sound silly but one person's idea of 2-3 paragraphs could be very different from another's. If they're giving you a billion paragraphs, even if it is a wall of over-explaining text, and they see 2-3 paragraphs in reply, they may feel they're not getting as much out of the RP as they're putting into it.
If you've done this and they've seen what to expect, then decide the RP isn't for them, that can be very frustrating and aggravating. Unfortunately, it's also an 'is what it is' type situation where it didn't mesh. You can make a note not to RP with that person again if they're wasting your time.
RP's don't work out for a variety of reasons and it's the bane of online RPing that the anonymity of the internet lessens some social manners. I've been guilty of dropping RP's before myself, usually unintentionally, where I lose track of it or it gets sifted to the Neverwhere at the bottom of my inbox. We have a good community here but it pops up everywhere. Usually there's no malicious intent; a lot of people are bad with confrontation or have anxiety issues.
Do you make it clear from the beginning that your post limit is a 'set' 2-3 well-written paragraphs? Some people, when saying they want a multi-paragraph poster in a partner, are looking for the miniature novel approach. It could be as simple as clarifying up front, before you begin an RP, exactly how much they can expect from you to write. Perhaps you could give them a post sample as well so they can see your writing style? Most disappointments like this come from a person's expectations not being met; clearly yours aren't as you've had difficulty with people ending RP's. Best I can think of in terms of a solution is being entirely upfront right from the get go, if you're not already.
It may sound silly but one person's idea of 2-3 paragraphs could be very different from another's. If they're giving you a billion paragraphs, even if it is a wall of over-explaining text, and they see 2-3 paragraphs in reply, they may feel they're not getting as much out of the RP as they're putting into it.
If you've done this and they've seen what to expect, then decide the RP isn't for them, that can be very frustrating and aggravating. Unfortunately, it's also an 'is what it is' type situation where it didn't mesh. You can make a note not to RP with that person again if they're wasting your time.
RP's don't work out for a variety of reasons and it's the bane of online RPing that the anonymity of the internet lessens some social manners. I've been guilty of dropping RP's before myself, usually unintentionally, where I lose track of it or it gets sifted to the Neverwhere at the bottom of my inbox. We have a good community here but it pops up everywhere. Usually there's no malicious intent; a lot of people are bad with confrontation or have anxiety issues.
I imagine it's much like how those who typically write 2-3 paragraphs or so commonly avoid those who only post a sentence or two at a time. It's just not a good match, and everything end up feeling really one-sided and stunted.
Consider if your favorite flavor was blueberry. Would you carry around plates of butterscotch and watermelon and such, or would you hold out for some nice blueberry?
(I got a bit ramble-y after this.)
I was actually just whining at a friend about something related. Often, I'll see characters that seem to have some pretty neat concepts based on the stuff I first see. As soon as I reach the description or bio or something though, it looks like the player has no concept of punctuation or spacing, or they use certain phrases that are just grating in context. No matter how cool the character is, I know that it's extremely unlikely that I'd be able to enjoy a game with them because our writing preferences are just so far apart. I'd be constantly distracted by their style, unable to really get into the story, and ultimately feeling like I'm kind of an afterthought for them.
I also tend to avoid those who regularly write several paragraphs or more because I feel bad if I can't keep up and sometimes doing that messes with other things, like how time should flow or how certain actions would be reacted to. Let's say someone posts that their character did A, B, and C in a single post. Normally, that might be totally fine, but my character would have had a significant reaction to action A that makes B and C not make any sense. Do I cancel those actions? Do I come up with some reason my character didn't react to action A? I'd rather not have to work it out.
And I tend to avoid those with a style that relies heavily on imagery and/or metaphor. Mental pictures don't come naturally to me like they do for most, so I favor styles that are more straightforward.
Another thing I typically avoid are whimsical things where you just accept stuff and things don't have to make sense. I have characters that I never use because I don't know how to play them right. (But I also don't want to get rid of them...) My brain gets too tied up in logic and cause-and-effect.
It might seem picky, but I'm just trying to save my time and energy for those who I think there's a good chance I can have an enjoyable RP with. When restrictions get listed, it's because those people have learned they need those things to really have fun.
Consider if your favorite flavor was blueberry. Would you carry around plates of butterscotch and watermelon and such, or would you hold out for some nice blueberry?
(I got a bit ramble-y after this.)
I was actually just whining at a friend about something related. Often, I'll see characters that seem to have some pretty neat concepts based on the stuff I first see. As soon as I reach the description or bio or something though, it looks like the player has no concept of punctuation or spacing, or they use certain phrases that are just grating in context. No matter how cool the character is, I know that it's extremely unlikely that I'd be able to enjoy a game with them because our writing preferences are just so far apart. I'd be constantly distracted by their style, unable to really get into the story, and ultimately feeling like I'm kind of an afterthought for them.
I also tend to avoid those who regularly write several paragraphs or more because I feel bad if I can't keep up and sometimes doing that messes with other things, like how time should flow or how certain actions would be reacted to. Let's say someone posts that their character did A, B, and C in a single post. Normally, that might be totally fine, but my character would have had a significant reaction to action A that makes B and C not make any sense. Do I cancel those actions? Do I come up with some reason my character didn't react to action A? I'd rather not have to work it out.
And I tend to avoid those with a style that relies heavily on imagery and/or metaphor. Mental pictures don't come naturally to me like they do for most, so I favor styles that are more straightforward.
Another thing I typically avoid are whimsical things where you just accept stuff and things don't have to make sense. I have characters that I never use because I don't know how to play them right. (But I also don't want to get rid of them...) My brain gets too tied up in logic and cause-and-effect.
It might seem picky, but I'm just trying to save my time and energy for those who I think there's a good chance I can have an enjoyable RP with. When restrictions get listed, it's because those people have learned they need those things to really have fun.
We all have the right to be as picky as we'd like. And we willfully respect everyone's right to be pickalickadicious.
But I echo the earlier sentiments. Just be clear about what you want and expect as well as clear about what you do and how you write.
But I echo the earlier sentiments. Just be clear about what you want and expect as well as clear about what you do and how you write.
As a player who's posts can range from a few paragraphs to a few pages my personal opinion is that it really is about flavor and taste. I agree full wholehearted with the previous statements however feel I must add my own thoughts in that sometimes it is also about the ability to verbalize.
While skill does play into it a touch, such as level of vocabulary and writing comprehension I think a big thing is simply having the knowledge that what you have written is enough. One thoughtfully written concise sentence can say as much as 100, 200, 300 words. And while admittedly sometimes it is a style to say absolutely everything one's character is thinking or feeling other times it can simply be a fear that your character's actions need defending. Instead of having the trust that your partner knows OOC your jerk of an OC isn't a direct representative of who you are as a player, there is a thought that what lead to their actions needs to be elaborated.
From the POV of someone who can write a lot in one post there is also the idea of feeling the need to paint a mental picture. When in a setting some players (and this is purely taste, nothing wrong with it at all) don't feel the need to elaborate on the environment. For some it can simply be two characters who are having an interaction. For those like me however, it is difficult to let sleeping dogs lie. I always feel the need to at some point in a game describe how things smell (though not if that is objectively good or bad to any other character), the weather, the temperature, all the things that bring me, personally, into a story. Do I expect others to post as much as myself? Heck no! No, no, no! Because at its heart while RP is a group exercise where you should take into consideration other players, you are also doing it for your own enjoyment. These descriptions make me happy.
While it can be overwhelming to play with others who post a wall of text to pick through and analyze there is also the idea of if most of the post is 'respondable information' or 'internal monologue.' If most is the latter then honestly there isn't a lot you can do in terms of creating a longer post. Because you literally have been given little to work with. This is a personal pet peeve of mine, having often given what I thought to be a post in which could be worked off of including but not limited to character interaction, environmental factors and leaving plenty of space open to do whatever they other player liked, only to read a response of three spoken IC words and a wall of thoughts that while were well written nothing could really be done with on my end. Leaving me to feel as if my next post would have to be a lot of work in order to do anything at all, let alone continue any sort of interaction. And while I know that is just me being picky it does present a problem in communication as there is nothing 'wrong' with that style, so it is not as if it is appropriate to send a PM saying you can't do anything with their hard work.
My personal RP background preaches mindfulness, open communication and an attempt at understanding the fears and concerns of other players even if it means admitting wrong and/ or fault. From talking to some players over the years there is often an idea that post length should equal post length instead of content for content. "It's easy to toss up a billion words, not as much to make them mean something substantial to another player." (You can't say your character is 'beautiful' and expect that others will automatically find them 'attractive,' or elaborate on how intelligent your character is and expect that they will automatically be respected for it. Just to name two examples.) Sometimes they even feel disrespected (though this I never really understood) as in their minds they spent so much time and energy creating this long novella of a post to have someone come back with 'only' 2-3 paragraphs. Not taking into account that the 2-3 paragraphs could be just as much effort only resulting in less words.
I am sorry that you've been kicked to the curb, but perhaps it is for the best seeing as from how you have described this reoccurring experience there is a good chance you may not have found the satisfying play in that environment that maybe you would have liked. RP is done for fun, it is done as a hobby and it certainly should not cause negative emotions such as anger or stress. My advice is to not take it personally and to find people who will fit to you as a writing partner better, even if sometimes that takes a bit of looking. Good luck!
While skill does play into it a touch, such as level of vocabulary and writing comprehension I think a big thing is simply having the knowledge that what you have written is enough. One thoughtfully written concise sentence can say as much as 100, 200, 300 words. And while admittedly sometimes it is a style to say absolutely everything one's character is thinking or feeling other times it can simply be a fear that your character's actions need defending. Instead of having the trust that your partner knows OOC your jerk of an OC isn't a direct representative of who you are as a player, there is a thought that what lead to their actions needs to be elaborated.
From the POV of someone who can write a lot in one post there is also the idea of feeling the need to paint a mental picture. When in a setting some players (and this is purely taste, nothing wrong with it at all) don't feel the need to elaborate on the environment. For some it can simply be two characters who are having an interaction. For those like me however, it is difficult to let sleeping dogs lie. I always feel the need to at some point in a game describe how things smell (though not if that is objectively good or bad to any other character), the weather, the temperature, all the things that bring me, personally, into a story. Do I expect others to post as much as myself? Heck no! No, no, no! Because at its heart while RP is a group exercise where you should take into consideration other players, you are also doing it for your own enjoyment. These descriptions make me happy.
While it can be overwhelming to play with others who post a wall of text to pick through and analyze there is also the idea of if most of the post is 'respondable information' or 'internal monologue.' If most is the latter then honestly there isn't a lot you can do in terms of creating a longer post. Because you literally have been given little to work with. This is a personal pet peeve of mine, having often given what I thought to be a post in which could be worked off of including but not limited to character interaction, environmental factors and leaving plenty of space open to do whatever they other player liked, only to read a response of three spoken IC words and a wall of thoughts that while were well written nothing could really be done with on my end. Leaving me to feel as if my next post would have to be a lot of work in order to do anything at all, let alone continue any sort of interaction. And while I know that is just me being picky it does present a problem in communication as there is nothing 'wrong' with that style, so it is not as if it is appropriate to send a PM saying you can't do anything with their hard work.
My personal RP background preaches mindfulness, open communication and an attempt at understanding the fears and concerns of other players even if it means admitting wrong and/ or fault. From talking to some players over the years there is often an idea that post length should equal post length instead of content for content. "It's easy to toss up a billion words, not as much to make them mean something substantial to another player." (You can't say your character is 'beautiful' and expect that others will automatically find them 'attractive,' or elaborate on how intelligent your character is and expect that they will automatically be respected for it. Just to name two examples.) Sometimes they even feel disrespected (though this I never really understood) as in their minds they spent so much time and energy creating this long novella of a post to have someone come back with 'only' 2-3 paragraphs. Not taking into account that the 2-3 paragraphs could be just as much effort only resulting in less words.
I am sorry that you've been kicked to the curb, but perhaps it is for the best seeing as from how you have described this reoccurring experience there is a good chance you may not have found the satisfying play in that environment that maybe you would have liked. RP is done for fun, it is done as a hobby and it certainly should not cause negative emotions such as anger or stress. My advice is to not take it personally and to find people who will fit to you as a writing partner better, even if sometimes that takes a bit of looking. Good luck!
Answering the original question in the title, really briefly (and apart from that I agree with what the others said ):
Life is short. People who work or study intensely will have little free time and they’re usually looking to have the most fun they can, which is best accomplished by not spending one’s very limited time on things that aren’t a lot of fun for them.
People’s preferences will differ and the best way to save oneself time and frustration is to try and be very clear from the beginning about what people can expect from you. That, and you have to be patient about finding compatible partners.
):Life is short. People who work or study intensely will have little free time and they’re usually looking to have the most fun they can, which is best accomplished by not spending one’s very limited time on things that aren’t a lot of fun for them.
People’s preferences will differ and the best way to save oneself time and frustration is to try and be very clear from the beginning about what people can expect from you. That, and you have to be patient about finding compatible partners.
Coming in with the same opinions popping up over and over;
I think this is a problem based on matter of preference. If the novel style writing isn't for you, then it's not going to work for you either. You're going to grow frustrated reading through constantly long winded replies even if the other writer is having a good time writing out soliloquies, monologues, and grand details based entirely on superfluous thoughts and narration.
I'm one of those people who like to add all the gooey thoughts of my characters into my posts because I really want to get deep into the character while I'm writing them. It gives me the inspiration and desire to write while I'm writing. I may write replies that range from 1 grand paragraph that gives a proper response, formulated strategy to keep the thread moving, but it's short and sweet, but other times I want to get deep in the grit of what my character is feeling, thinking, doing, and expressing just so I can express it in word to my writing partner. It feels good. The stories where I can do that quite often are the ones I usually stick with and don't fall out of writing.
Do I want my partner to do the same? Absolutely. I want them to have a similar writing style, but that doesn't mean they absolutely have to do that. However, if all I'm getting are flattened responses with very short information, I can grow bored. It just feels like a rush to move to the next scene, the next area, the next emotional high. I want the emotional highs to last just like they do in real life.
Time passes so slowly compared to story telling time, and I want to slow that down. I do that with adding all those details that don't actually make a solid move past the current scene of the story and may not even be necessary to give a response and give my partner something to respond to in general. The gift is being able to do those kinds of short but sweet replies that are around a paragraphs worth and still make them as emotionally investing as the big ones.
If you feel that your replies are doing that, then perhaps the other partners aren't seeing them the same way or they don't read them the way that you want them to read them. Perhaps they simply can't receive what you're trying to give them and they have to move on so that they can manage being satisfied with the escapism of a roleplay.
I think this is a problem based on matter of preference. If the novel style writing isn't for you, then it's not going to work for you either. You're going to grow frustrated reading through constantly long winded replies even if the other writer is having a good time writing out soliloquies, monologues, and grand details based entirely on superfluous thoughts and narration.
I'm one of those people who like to add all the gooey thoughts of my characters into my posts because I really want to get deep into the character while I'm writing them. It gives me the inspiration and desire to write while I'm writing. I may write replies that range from 1 grand paragraph that gives a proper response, formulated strategy to keep the thread moving, but it's short and sweet, but other times I want to get deep in the grit of what my character is feeling, thinking, doing, and expressing just so I can express it in word to my writing partner. It feels good. The stories where I can do that quite often are the ones I usually stick with and don't fall out of writing.
Do I want my partner to do the same? Absolutely. I want them to have a similar writing style, but that doesn't mean they absolutely have to do that. However, if all I'm getting are flattened responses with very short information, I can grow bored. It just feels like a rush to move to the next scene, the next area, the next emotional high. I want the emotional highs to last just like they do in real life.
Time passes so slowly compared to story telling time, and I want to slow that down. I do that with adding all those details that don't actually make a solid move past the current scene of the story and may not even be necessary to give a response and give my partner something to respond to in general. The gift is being able to do those kinds of short but sweet replies that are around a paragraphs worth and still make them as emotionally investing as the big ones.
If you feel that your replies are doing that, then perhaps the other partners aren't seeing them the same way or they don't read them the way that you want them to read them. Perhaps they simply can't receive what you're trying to give them and they have to move on so that they can manage being satisfied with the escapism of a roleplay.
It's not really being picky. I am a multi-para rper, and generally write no less than 250 words, but often times write 800-1000 words a post, sometimes more. It's simply what I enjoy writing, and what I enjoy reading. I always let people know what my preferences, and expectations are. When I make looking for RP posts, I always put that I want someone who will post no less than 250 words.
My recommendation is that before anyone even posts, let that person know what your usual post length is, and ask if that is okay. That way, if they aren't a fan of that post length, they can tell you, and you two can move on before anyone wastes time posting. Or if you aren't a fan of their really long post length, then you can tell them you'd prefer not to RP with them, and move on.
My recommendation is that before anyone even posts, let that person know what your usual post length is, and ask if that is okay. That way, if they aren't a fan of that post length, they can tell you, and you two can move on before anyone wastes time posting. Or if you aren't a fan of their really long post length, then you can tell them you'd prefer not to RP with them, and move on.
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