Forums » Smalltalk » Acrophobia tips?

Hi everyone!
So, I have a strong fear of heights (acrophobia). I hate being on ladders, I can't lean out a second story window, and driving along mountainsides or over bridges sucks xD I can't even watch movies that have heights in them (the trailer for that movie about the dude tightropewalking between two skyscrapers made me freak out every time).

But here's the thing; my mom has dreamed, for all her life, of going to the Grand Canyon. So, next year, us three daughters are taking her to the Grand Canyon for about 4-5 days.

I have 11 months to get over my acrophobia enough to be able to go on this trip and survive. I need advice and tips!!
I've done a lot of consideration and I think that my acrophobia stems from my anxiety and intense 'what if' thoughts, namely, 'what if I fall?' But it's not as simple as "oh just don't think about it". That's not how anxiety/acrophobia works, my friends. xD

So any advice, tips, or anything to help me prep would be super helpful! I really want to be okay when we go on this trip so that my mom can really enjoy it!

I’m not a doctor. Let me start with that. Or any sort of medical professional for that matter.

I think I read somewhere once that the process to overcome phobias is a slow step up approach of immersion therapy. Essentially it’s you reconditioning yourself that nothing bad will happen by placing yourself in controlled, safe instances of the thing you fear.

Start small, and work yourself up to bigger things. Like maybe start with watching the tightrope walker video. Once you get to where you can watch that, step it up. Start working toward standing on a step stool. Then a ladder. Small baby steps until you’re where you want to be.

But again, I’m a random guy on the Internet. Your best bet would be to find a psychiatrist. They can prescribe medication, which may be necessary for controlling the anxiety.

Hey there

Please note that I'm not a professional and just trying to help with own experience and what I've heard;
Also I really don't mean bad with anything and I really hope you're not offended if I suggest something that you know won't work for you. Still I hope that there is maybe a tiny little thing you could consider trying, since it would be so awesome if the trip won't just be a nice time for your mother but a good and maybe even helpful experience for yourself as well!

I'm not too well informed about Acrophobia in specific, but taking it as a form of fear and anxiety, I try to give some rather general advice.

Practise self-aid skills
You have probably heard of little coping mechanisms that don't interfere with every day life but can comfort a person in any tough situation very much. Try to figure out what could be such a thing for you.
Maybe something to do with your hands, some little distraction related to the senses of perception;
try different breathing techniques where you focus on your breath to make you feel better;
try different techniques of inner mindfulness and especially the part of it where you try to chase away negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Because you're right, you can't just "not focus" on anything, you need something else to think about instead.
All of those probably won't function and help from the beginning, they need training and practise to work in the actual situation. But I think, 11 months should provide you enough time to maybe look some of those up and find out what can help you in specific.

Be kind and understanding towards yourself
It's already a big step that you are aware of what makes you uncomfortable. Humanity is kind of conditioned to be afraid of some things that are not necessarily dangerous nowadays, and especially when you're already dealing with anxiety, the brain sometimes does strange things. Don't judge yourself, it's ok to have this phobia.
Instead, treat yourself kindly, just like you would treat a dear and loved friend. Give yourself breaks, try to comfort yourself and after every trip and adventure you will be taking, make sure you have enough time to rest afterwards.

Try to condition yourself beforehand with looking at pictures/videos - I don't know if that works, but when you experience the fear as well when you're not there, maybe it can help you work with these "illusion" of being in that situation before you actually get to be in that situation.

Don't look downwards - Is probably hard to do, but if you can, try not to focus on the actual distance between your location and the ground. Maybe rather look at the horizon at eyelevel, and focus on your company.

Tell your family about it - I don't know if they know this about you, but it would sure be helpful to tell them about your phobia and they probably can help you, distract you and try to calm you down. Also it would sure mean a lot to your Mom when she knows you are trying to do her a favor with making her wish come true even though this condition of yours.

I'll be subscribing this topic in case you have any questions. Also if you think that I might have messed some words up, please tell me as well, because I really don't want any misunderstandings happening because of language barrier

Anyway, I hope this helps at least a little bit and I'm wishing you all the best.
Many many greetings

These points are very important. I myself am no doctor or professional when it comes to these kinds of situations or issues. I myself used to be rather afraid of heights, but I went through some self conditioning as a teenager.

I have seen well developed documentaries by actual psychologists who specialize very specifically with phobias. One method was one thing that Leighton pointed out, which is self conditioning. In a way it is forcing you to come face to face with your fear and deal with the emotions you attach to that fear. It's a conditioning affect that helps you create and develop your own desired response to your fear, and for all simplistic purposes, helps you conquer that fear all together.

Looking at images in a safe environment and letting yourself get used to seeing things I feel is a useful tool for this situation. You can look at lots of pictures of the Grand Canyon and try working through those images to help get used to specifically what you're going to be coming up against too. That way you can maximise your comfort and fun for the trip.

It's extremely important for you to communicate these fears to your family though and express how abundantly important they see it as seriously as you do and how much you want their support. I'm wishing you the best in making the best out of your trip!

I don't really have any tips, but in case it can help you at all...

My mom has acrophobia. She went up in the St. Louis arch. I wasn't present, but she shared the story. Going up, she was fine. Even looking out, she was initially fine. While looking out, though, it hit her that she was really high up. She completely froze up, and they were only able to get her down again because my dad was there and she trusts him absolutely.

From this, I think I'd pull: don't look down, keep back from edges if you're going to look out, don't let anyone guilt you into looking at something or going to a place where you don't feel comfortable, and have someone around that you feel you can trust like that, just in case you need help getting to a place where you feel safe again.

You might actually try contacting whatever office takes care of the area to see if they have any tips or resources for you. Sometimes, some places have come to expect certain problems to come up and may have a plan in place to deal with them.

I remember, being terrified of the dark; I'm still terrified of the dark. Once, I must have been a toddler, I locked myself in a closet and my mom spent an hour looking frantically around the house until she heard my muffled sobs, I'm to understand, and found me playing in the closet with a Fischer Price flashlight; Those ones with the red and green lenses? I remember those...

A few years later, maybe, I decided to make a dare with myself, as it were. I would simply turn off the lights and sit in total darkness. I was right by the light switch, and I had complete control over how long I was in the dark. And, with the illusion of control, at least, I became able to function in the dark. I still dislike it, but it doesn't cause me to scream, or recoil in terror, the way it used to. I was stung by a yellow jacket, around the same age; I'm sure you can guess how I solved that fear. Same thing with heights; Climb a tree. I was afraid of roller coasters well into my late teens. I still do not like them. And, when everyone was lining up for one on some... trip, I don't remember what it was for. I think it was a church function, I got in like, walked all the way up there, and got on that awful machine. I hated it. I still hate it. I'm actually a HUGE wimp.

Facing a fear all boils down to a very simple act of defiance. I think defiance is the key; You have to be a rebel to some degree. Not just against external forces, but internal forces as well. You can't beat a fear, break it, or even wrestle it under control a little, until you face it and tell it: NO. That is the first step. There is NO escaping that step, but the good news is, once you're past it? Facing that fear becomes immensely easier to do again, and again.

But you have to take the first step.

Think of it like going to work. Not everyone likes work, I'd wager most don't, but they do it. Just... apply the same logic and emotion, I guess. "I hate this, but I have to." It won't help you enjoy the trip at all, but, that's probably because you just don't enjoy that specific action. I mean, if you hate chocolate ice cream and everyone orders it as some big celebratory event? I don't think you're obligated to ENJOY it. Participate? Maybe. Depends on the circumstances, but just because you force yourself to eat that ice cream does not automatically mean you'll start enjoying it at some point.

You're still gonna hate it.

Sorry...

*insert "not a professional" disclaimer here*

As a practical answer, try tying off. It's how I deal with mine when I get it. Unrestrained heights past a certain point just wigs me right out. So I restrain myself.
It might not work for you, but try paring down the sensations to a single cause. "What if?" is an question that can be answered. (Doesn't always work. No amount of preparation or prevention helps with my fear of spiders, but I can deal with heights if I prep for it).

The solution is going to be like a very expensive outfit: Custom made for you, to your specifications and desires.
I hope you have lots of luck finding what you're looking for

There are fortunately large parts of the Grand Canyon that aren’t drop offs, and you don’t actually have to go down into the canyon if you don’t want to.

There is a paved path around the rim that doesn’t get close to the edge- there are also shops and things that they have set up at one point. My friend, who also has a fear of heights, found those parts really useful seeing as how she could focus on those things and the paved path under her feet.

Dunno if that helps, but- you’re not alone! Just try not to think about all the ‘what ifs’. People do act like idiots there, but you’re not one of them, so you’ll be fine!

When we're told a particularly intense story, the same parts of our brains activate as if we were living it, so there's nothing odd or shameful about a movie trailer freaking you out.

I've read it's helpful to lay your fears out: if you're scared to death of heights, it's more you're scared of getting close to an edge, and from there scared of falling, and only from there ought you be scared of landing. Similarly, being scared to death of public speaking is really fear of a mistake -> embarrassment -> loss of reputation -> being shunned, etc. Anyways, the point is that outside of an actual crisis, the fact you fear something is proof that it isn't actually happening.

You're fine just the way you are, so I hope a little perspective can go a long way. Have fun on your trip!

Everyone, thank you SO much for all of the tips, advice, and information! Everything you have all said is extremely helpful to me, I really appreciate you all taking the time to give me your input.
Thank you!!

If I was in that situation, I would try to convince the person to let me plan separate, parallel activities in the area that don't require being around the canyon. There's probably a lot to do around there like that, cause it's a whole huge tourist destination. For example, I despise anything relating to death so when my wife wants to go on ghost tours and stuff, I go with her to the city it's in, and then check out the museums or restaurants and meet up later.