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Granted! But her love is so smothering and possessive you find yourself fearing for your life, which she will, one day, take.


I wish there really was a wand shop hidden somewhere in London with a wand that would only choose me.

Granted! Although the wand did indeed choose you, it did so out of spite and actually hates you. Every spell backfires, and it shocks you when you pick it up, no matter what you may do.

I wish to be able to travel into the world of my favourite book series for a day.

Wish granted! But no matter what series you go into you are basic background character no one cares about.


I wish I could pick up any instrument and instantly master it.

Wish Granted! But you find it impossible to read sheet music and are incapable of perfect pitch, therefore, will never be able to reach your full potential with your instrument.



I wish I was one of those lucky people who a natural ability to sing amazingly.

Granted! You have a voice so beautiful and pure that it would make angels weep. Too bad that you live a solitary life on mars where no one can hear it.

I wish! I could travel the entire multiverse and see new species of creatures all across the galaxies of time and space.

"Granted but now every time you do so the universe you leave will be erased"

"I wish I didnt have to pour mana into my hands all the time" she'd say shrugging

Granted, but now you pour it on your feet all the time instead.

"I wish I could fly from place to place!"

Granted! But the lower part of your body (bellybutton down) was used to create your glorious wingspan.



I wish I could have a long, detailed conversation with William Shakespear regarding the muse behind his works."

"Granted. Unfortunately, he no longer has a voice to speak with."

"I wish there was a way to read people's thoughts."

"Granted! You can read everyone's thoughts except you are trapped in a psych ward with only their thoughts to listen to."

"I wish I wish for the perfect human subject that I could mold into a creature of my design."

"Well I suppose I could grant such a thing, but you'll find that as much as you mold, your human subject will become more and more covered in a mildewed mold of it's own."

"I wish to be the most magnificent story teller the universe has ever seen~! Ah but wait, I already am! I suppose then, I'll wish for something else... I wish for a grand castle, fashioned from the most beautiful and illusive gems!"

Granted, but the gorgeous elusive gems are only found in the core of the earth. They radiate heat so hot that it melts everything within a mile radius, and you can only view your grand castle through satellite images.

I wish for the world to be covered in forests of massive redwoods, filled with plentiful game and not a human as far as the eye can see.

Granted but that many trees needed food. Your right not a human as far as any eye can see. You wiped out humanity they became food for the trees. It’s truly beautiful but the humans are gone.

I wish to go into any stories I like as any character I choose for eternity

"Granted! But everytime you enter a new story you are subjected to a loading screen that lasts anywhere between 5 seconds and 2 hours with an 8 second looped song! MUAHAHAHAHA" hack- cough- cough

"I wish for the ability to create portals that I and others can pass in and out of without any harm coming to us"

"Granted, so they're all about the size of your pinky finger so you and everyone can pass through in and out safely with your fingers" 👍

I wish that staring at the sun didn't make humans go blind anymore.

Granted! However, the muscles of your iris (the colored part of your eye) tighten around your pupil causing miosis, or pinpoint pupils, so that unless you are in direct sunlight there is no longer enough light to see anything.

I wish I could be a member of the opposite sex (a woman) for one week so I could truly be empathetic when comforting friends.

Granted, but even after a week has passed and you are once again male, the rest of the world still percieves you as female.

I wish I could create and control my dreams at will.

Granted, but now you'll never be able to tell if you're awake or still dreaming.

I wish to bring one of my characters to life.

Granted, but it has to be your most dangerous character.

I wish to be a billionaire.

Granted, but the world changes currency, so now nowhere will accept your money except for a small shop that only sells beetles and glass panes

I wish for an end to all war, hunger, and homelessness