Forums » Smalltalk » i think i'm figuring myself out??? (LGBT)

so uhhhhhh this is me rambling and it’s not important at all but i just wanted a place to talk about this and this community has always been really supportive and kind with everyone so hey.

anyways i’ve been dealing with “am i bi????/??/??/?? am i gay??/?/?/?/?/????/??” for awhile now and last night i had a dream i was in a relationship with a girl my mind just made up and i’ve been thinking about it all day and it’s just. looking back on my life i’ve always been bi but i think i just never thought being attracted to multiple genders could be an option for me. and i’m definitely not trying to make it sound like gay people have it easier or anything like that, i think i just had difficulty accepting the fact that I Can Be Bi And That’s Okay. and idk i’m still mulling it over and trying to accept it but it feels Good? because it’s like everything makes sense now.

anyways another big thing that i feel like is making it hard to distinguish this is my dysphoria because i always felt like,, idk if i’m anyone ever i’m going to end up feeling rly dysphoric over it because i don’t want to be seen as A Girlfriend but now i’m really close to being able to transition and imagining myself post-T i feel like i could definitely date a man or a woman or a nonbinary person and just. yeah. thanks for coming to my ted talk

Super glad you're figuring yourself out!

It took me a while to figure out I'm bisexual and Demisexual. 😊

I understand... gender dysphoria affecting sexuality, and I feel like maybe it isn't as talked about is it could be. I don't want to ruminate on my own problems, but I'm glad your resulting feeling is Good.

I love Ted talks. Lol.

I can understand where you're coming from. Sometimes there is some clickishness between gay people and bi people, but the truth is, it's really an individual thing that only you can know for yourself. As a lesbian, I even went through a phase where I thought....ok..maybe I can be attracted to guys, but through dating I found out that it was just a friendship connection I was feeling and an admiration. If I hadn't tried dating both, I would always be wondering though. Feelings can be confusing... friendship can melt into crushing and crushing can melt up into love. And admiration can be so powerful sometimes it can feel like a crush. It can be confusing to figure out what feelings mean until you try acting on them. Once I had kissed a few guys I understood that it would never do the same thing as kissing a girl would do for me. I'm just not wired that way. But I know people that can fall in love with either. Anyway, congrats on figuring out and accepting that you might be bi. Nothing wrong with bi. Wisdom comes by experience.

Dreams are funny things too. Can be symbolic. Like, dreaming about death can mean change, dreaming about birth can mean death. I often have dreams about journey's in a car which represents my journey through life. So it could be symbolic not literal. Anyway congrats on that.

yeah, i definitely agree that it needs to be talked about more /. it took me awhile to accept that i'll probably be completely unable to date pre-everything just because everything about me feels so wrong and it'll completely affect how i feel about everything in the relationship.
ted talks are great lol. and thank you! i definitely agree on the dream thing too. i don't believe a lot of dream interpretation things that are based on freudian psychology but i really feel like dreams can be enlightening and it can be our brains trying to tell us we need to pay more attention to something.
thank you very much!

Gay lmao

There's space in the rainbow community for everyone, so make yourself comfortable and don't beat yourself about it. You're still young, I can tell, so don't pressure yourself about it.

I'm pansexual. At first, I thought I was 100% straight until I was in high school and my experiences were an insane rollercoaster. I was in art high school, so there's a lot of crap going on there. From girls dating older men, ending up in the news for some serious shit, underage drinking in bathrooms, art high school is a cruel place to be in, filled with unfair challenges. I fell in love with one of my best female friends and I wasn't aware of it until later. I was doing some sexual practices with a butch lesbian and I loved it as much as I would love it with a guy. So I was bi confused at that time, because I was always into men and boom, I'm suddenly surrounded by women who are challenging me emotionally and physically and it caused me a lot of anxiety because I thought it was wrong. After I finished high school, I stopped caring and did what I wanted to do.

Then, I got involved with two people, one was agender, the other was trans and I didn't really care about their gender and I realized how little gender mattered to me and it never mattered to me what's between their legs, only mattered if I liked them or not. So I was pretty much pan-aware. Hell, I'd date orcs, qunari, furries, anything sentient and with personality if I like them as people.

So my advice - it doesn't matter. Don't label yourself, give yourself some time. Date who you want to date if you have feelings towards the person, regardless of their gender. As for your transition, I've no experience there other that I support you and wish you well! Just follow what you feel.