PrettySir wrote:
I'm not one to really chime in too often on the public forums anymore, however, I really don't feel that this is very fair to your wife. This is not a funny situation. This is showing a blatant disrespect and hurtful behaviour towards your wife.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
Alright. I've got you. No, I don't take it the wrong way. I appreciate honest opinions. If you're feeling this way about it, a lot of other must be feeling the same way about it. And I don't how things sound unless somebody tells me. Also, the fact that it was an inconsiderate thing to do, I didn't fully realize until damnationfromafar spoke up about it. I had thought it was a mischievous but understandable thing to do. However, the fact that it was more serious, I am glad to know. You can't always see that from the inside, only from the outside. So I am not one to criticize people for their honest opinions in a non-hateful way, which is exactly what you have done. I have no problem with that at all. I think I get the message, though. So, I'm going to go ahead and edit this thread to delete the contents and close it. Thank you, very much. Thank you for being honest.
Queen_of_Hell wrote:
PrettySir wrote:
I'm not one to really chime in too often on the public forums anymore, however, I really don't feel that this is very fair to your wife. This is not a funny situation. This is showing a blatant disrespect and hurtful behaviour towards your wife.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
^^^
I support this. We all need to be strict with one another in order to get the message, not strict to be rude, but because we care about others' happiness. This is an issue where nobody should be sympathized, because marrying a person means a potential and lifelong bond. I believe your addiction is hard, thought not impossible to conquer. Like I said earlier, remember why you married your wife and realize that people in your life won't be around forever. I do spend a lot of my time on RP sites as well, but it's more as a practice for writing for me and a hobby, unless I'm having a really hard time that I can't control and spend my time here to escape it and ease those hard times. Marriages to some people are very hard to maintain (I myself have issues with relationships, not because I have commitment issues, but because I'm a extremely reserved person and it's extremely hard to open up) but now that you have married, it's something you'll need to face and fight for the person you claim to love. If you're bothered for people giving you advice, you've posted this online and therefore gave the right for others to state their opinion. I want you to know that we mean well. Truly and honestly. Treat people the way you want to be treated. I wish you and your wife (and your mom) luck.
The response to the previous comment also applies to this comment. I don't take it the wrong way, and I get the message. Message received. I appreciate honesty. Thank you.
PrettySir wrote:
I'm not one to really chime in too often on the public forums anymore, however, I really don't feel that this is very fair to your wife. This is not a funny situation. This is showing a blatant disrespect and hurtful behaviour towards your wife.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
Also, for the record, no, Sandra doesn't share in the care of my mom at all. My mom does not accept her and has schizophrenic-type delusions and believes she is in the CIA, trying to kill me, and a number of other delusional thoughts, despite the fact that we have been together 8 years. They literally cannot be in the same room together. So, no, she's not taking on any burdens in regards to that. Most everything else you said is legitimate criticism, however.
Another thing I suppose I will add is that the things I've written here are only a small slice of our total relationship. When people rant, they rant about things that bother them. Things that are odd or unusual. So, although there is definitely a pattern with the ruts our conversations get into sometimes, nothing I've written here was meant to paint a complete picture of our relationship, or be informative enough to become a criteria for accurately judging our relationship. So...in that sense, some people posting have the wrong idea, because they're using these slices to make determinations about the state of the relationship. Generalizations from specific instances, if you will.
However, even in such statements there are insights, insights about how the stories sound, and insights about the specific incidents which are written about which are valuable. So, hasty generalizations aside, I am grateful for the valuable insights and the time and effort it took to express them. Because of these comments, I will definitely think twice about how a story might come off when considered in isolation (which is how most people on here have to consider it since they don't have data other than what I wrote) and that is also a valuable insight.
PrettySir wrote:
Just done with people.
Don't take it bad. I want you both to be happy and I apologise for anything on my end that you took offense to and forgive anything on your end that I took offense to. Let's move on. Take care.
PS. My apologies...I thought you were the one who wrote the words "claim to love" in your comment, but it was someone else, my apologies for bringing that up. "phone in your face" was the part that bothered me but your comment wasn't as bad as I had remembered, I was mixing your comments in my mind with someone else's comments. My apologies for that. Moving on.
Queen_of_Hell wrote:
PrettySir wrote:
I'm not one to really chime in too often on the public forums anymore, however, I really don't feel that this is very fair to your wife. This is not a funny situation. This is showing a blatant disrespect and hurtful behaviour towards your wife.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
I understand that when someone only talks about work, it can get boring and annoying, but diving in to your phone for escapism and avoiding communication entirely is not the answer to get through this kind of situation. This is the kind of behaviour that can cause a huge rift between people. In every single thing I've seen you post regarding your wife, she is asking you to get off of your phone or explaining that you aren't paying attention to her.
I myself, honestly, don't know the entire situation, but this is stating to look a little scary and I don't think anyone should be encouraging you to do these things to your partner. As a married person myself, when you're with someone, the only way to resolve issues is to talk them out. This doesn't mean you have to yell at each other, but you're certainly going to have to hear things about yourself and the relationship that you're in that you really might not want to hear.
I do not think this is funny, and honestly, I find it hurtful for her. I feel sorry that your wife has to say these things to get your attention toward her.
Maybe it is time you did something to perhaps better this relationship so that you don't actually feel like you're getting bored, glazing your eyes over, or have to do mean things like this to end a conversation that you're not interested in. However, sometimes we also need to listen to our partners about things they are going through because we have an obligation as a partner to actually be that person's emotional support too.
You spoke in your most recent talk about how she actually told you that you aren't fulfilling responsibilities to her and your own mother because you're too busy with your phone. I understand that the addiction is a hard one to conquer, but becoming addicted to ignoring reality is not the answer here. Acting like a child does to their parent for getting on to them is... really not okay.
How did that situation honestly make you feel when she got upset and was completely shut down for wanting to talk to you and have a conversation with you? She married you to spend time with you, have your attention sometimes, and that means quality time without your phone in your face. How does it make you feel that these situations are happening? Are you honestly proud that these things happen?
I get that confrontations are terrifying and she might lash back and say her own passive aggressive things, but you both can't work through anything if you're going to shut each other down with hurtful behaviour. You need to talk about your issues together. Not every talk has to be a confrontation, but when you go into it always expecting it to be something confrontational or negative, you are going to always come out with a negative result.
I do not want to be harsh or rude, but after reading quite a few posts involving you and your wife, I really felt the need to air my 2 cents and I hope that it finds you well. All in all, I do believe you're a nice person, but there is some work to be done for everyone.
^^^
I support this. We all need to be strict with one another in order to get the message, not strict to be rude, but because we care about others' happiness. This is an issue where nobody should be sympathized, because marrying a person means a potential and lifelong bond. I believe your addiction is hard, thought not impossible to conquer. Like I said earlier, remember why you married your wife and realize that people in your life won't be around forever. I do spend a lot of my time on RP sites as well, but it's more as a practice for writing for me and a hobby, unless I'm having a really hard time that I can't control and spend my time here to escape it and ease those hard times. Marriages to some people are very hard to maintain (I myself have issues with relationships, not because I have commitment issues, but because I'm a extremely reserved person and it's extremely hard to open up) but now that you have married, it's something you'll need to face and fight for the person you claim to love. If you're bothered for people giving you advice, you've posted this online and therefore gave the right for others to state their opinion. I want you to know that we mean well. Truly and honestly. Treat people the way you want to be treated. I wish you and your wife (and your mom) luck.
The line "claim to love" bothered me. I'm moving on from this thread. However, I wish you well. And also, I think you have an interesting profile. Wish you well.
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