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Abigail_Austin Topic Starter

Crystaldragon126 wrote:
1. Do you believe there such a thing as "falling in love" as portrayed by the media? Why or why not?

1a. I think it may be possible, but with a lot of time and effort. I don’t believe in the whole love at first sight thing.

2. What do you think the difference is between being in love versus having a crush?

2a. In a crush, it tends to be more physical attraction and you can live without the person. But in love you are more attatched and cannot love without them. It’s like with a crush, “I love you because I need you”, but in love, “I need you because I love you.”

3. What is the difference between friendship and romance?

3a. Well the physical affection of course is a big part of it. I think there’s a very thin line sometimes, a very big difference is of course if you would want to spend the rest of you’re life with them in any sort of romantic way.

4. Is there such a thing as a "harmless crush"?

4a. Yes, not all crushes are actually meaningful and it’s not like you’re going to tell the person unless it develops into something more

5. What are the three most important qualities in a partner?

5a. Loyalty, honesty, and patience

6. What are the three best romantic gifts?

6a. Love letters, roses, and maybe a favorite food that you and your lover and have together

7. What is most important to you out of the following:

a) words of affirmation (I love you, you're amazing, etc)

b) acts of service (doing dishes, cooking, taking out the trash, etc)

c) physical touch (hugs, kisses, caresses, etc)

d) receiving gifts (chocolate, diamonds, cards, watches, etc)

e) quality time (date night, spending the weekend together, dinner together, etc)

7a. Definitely e, quality time. It can give you that reaffirmation without words and it would be so nice.

8. What's the best pickup line you've ever heard?

8a. I have heard a fair share of pick up lines but one of my favorites would have to be “Are you a slave to your clothes? Because I’d love to help free you of them.” Or, “You must be a velociraptor because you are one clever girl.”

9. What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard?

9a. “Are you McDonald’s? Because I’m loving it.” Or, “Are you trash? Because I need to take you out.”

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

10a. No. Love for me is something that builds over time and can’t be that instant. Sure you can have the physical attraction but nothing more at a glance.

Love these answers. Especially the pickup lines.
Abigail_Austin Topic Starter

HouXin wrote:
I´ll assume this is supposed to answer from a OOC: kind of view - at least that´s what I am going to do.
Perhaps right from the start - I guess being a happily married person who fullheartedly claims to have found love, I am not entirely unbiased on this topic ;D
Futher, everyting is only my little, humble opinion... don´t tear me apart, I am not claiming to have ultimate wisdom ;)


1. Do you believe there such a thing as "falling in love" as portrayed by the media? Why or why not?

"as portayed in the media" - well, I guess there is more than one way they portray it. However if we are talking about "fate" being involved - yes I believe in this. Why? Because it seems to me (in my very personal, subjective, humble opinion)it happened twice. Or rather before or while finding "Mr/Ms Right" fate seemed to both, laugh its tricky little ass off behind the curtain and also pull some weird strings.... - anything more detailed than that would surely be beyond the scope of this survey ;)

2. What do you think the difference is between being in love versus having a crush?
Being in love means devtion and trust. Means that I really, truely want to spend the rest of my life with this one person, no matter possible flaws, wants me to make it through dark times together and will help to emerge on the other side stronger and even more in love
Having a crush, in my experience is a fleeting, yet intense sensation which lacks a certain depth. It´s nice, for a temporary period though ;D


3. What is the difference between friendship and romance?

Friendship does not need romance/sexualtiy/physical attraction to work - it´s a faithful, strong relationship without anything physical involved
Romance is connected with some kind of physical attraction

4. Is there such a thing as a "harmless crush"?
Yes - at least according to how I define "harmless crush"


5. What are the three most important qualities in a partner?
Loyalty, honesty, and please don´t take yourself too serious

6. What are the three best romantic gifts?
Time spent together... time spent together.... time spent together

7. What is most important to you out of the following:

a) words of affirmation (I love you, you're amazing, etc)
Well, why not... yeah, they are important

b) acts of service (doing dishes, cooking, taking out the trash, etc)
should be normal in an equal partnership and nothing worth mentioning

c) physical touch (hugs, kisses, caresses, etc)
very important

d) receiving gifts (chocolate, diamonds, cards, watches, etc)
not really

e) quality time (date night, spending the weekend together, dinner together, etc)
very important



8. What's the best pickup line you've ever heard?
uuuhm.... I think I never heard any... things just.. .developed 0o

9. What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard?
Guess it was that bad that I already forgot...


10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
Yes, been there done that - married for over a decade now :D


I liked reading your answers! And yes you were OOC! Congrats on you and your wife...that's romantic. Yay. :)
1. Do you believe there such a thing as "falling in love" as portrayed by the media? Why or why not?
No, love is something you gradually work on and grow into, not something you accidentally fall into somehow.

2. What do you think the difference is between being in love versus having a crush?
A crush implies physical, romantic or emotional attraction. Love implies all three. Essentially, a crush shows "potential" for love but does not guarantee it.

3. What is the difference between friendship and romance?
Romance is when your best friend also keeps your bed warm, gets intimate with you, and you both feel comfortable professing love to one another.

4. Is there such a thing as a "harmless crush"?
No. If it's one-sided, one party is emotionally hurt, if both are invested, it blooms into a form of potentially shallow romance. Best case scenario? Two people bruise one another's hips.

5. What are the three most important qualities in a partner?
Intelligence, pro-activity and stability.

6. What are the three best romantic gifts?
Time spent and enjoyed together, small things that only someone you're close to would even think of giving you, a sincere love.

7. What is most important to you out of the following:

a) words of affirmation (I love you, you're amazing, etc) 9/10

b) acts of service (doing dishes, cooking, taking out the trash, etc) 5/10

c) physical touch (hugs, kisses, caresses, etc) 10/10

d) receiving gifts (chocolate, diamonds, cards, watches, etc) 3/10

e) quality time (date night, spending the weekend together, dinner together, etc) 8/10

8. What's the best pickup line you've ever heard? I am not allowed to share it on a PG-13 forum.

9. What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard? Same as above.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not? Yes if you define "first sight" as "first time you see who they truly are" rather than "first time you lay eyes on them".
Abigail_Austin Topic Starter

Sanne wrote:
1. Do you believe there such a thing as "falling in love" as portrayed by the media? Why or why not?
Not as portrayed by the media. I think the media has a very skewed view on what healthy and normal relationships look like, and falling in love happens in so many ways that are never represented that I can't say I do.

2. What do you think the difference is between being in love versus having a crush?
Finding yourself knowing what kind of person they are, what their hopes and dreams are, knowing their flaws and loving those too (as part of normal human life, you can still dislike a flaw but accept that we all have flaws and still love the person with their flaws). A crush is falling for an idea of a person, before you know much of anything about them, and pursuing getting to know more about them. A crush either develops into love once you get to know them, or you fall out of the crush when reality hits about the person's flaws and you can't get past them.

3. What is the difference between friendship and romance?
Not a whole lot. I think any good romance needs friendship as a foundation. Romance is an addition, like topping on ice cream. The difference is only valuable to set boundaries between the way you express your love for people. AKA I love my friends as much as I love my partner, but I don't do certain things with friends because I want to only share those things with the one person I choose to be with. The underlying love is so similar it's hard to differentiate for me.

4. Is there such a thing as a "harmless crush"?
Yeah, I think so! I think it's natural to be captivated by an idea of someone, as long as you don't hurt anyone in the process.

5. What are the three most important qualities in a partner?
Honesty, the ability to communicate, the desire to always be a better you.

6. What are the three best romantic gifts?
I don't have a top three. My only requirement is that the person wants to give me those things for no reason other than 'this reminded me of you' or 'I want you to treat yourself today'. The most romantic gifts are no-strings attached and spontaneous.

7. What is most important to you out of the following:
C, physical touch. Whether I'm arguing with my partner, having a good time, deathly ill or otherwise, it hurts me the most to be denied a hug or a kiss and it helps me the most to get these things.

8. What's the best pickup line you've ever heard?
That one I heard a while back and swore I'd never forget, but then forgot.

9. What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard?
All of them actually. I think pickup lines are terrible, people aren't objects you order and then pick up. You interact and connect with them!

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
I'd have to say no. I believe in instant connections at first sight, but you can't love someone until you know who they are. You can crush at first sight though!
I think a lot of people mistake physical attraction with love. There's nothing wrong with physical attraction, but just be honest about how you feel and don't turn it into something it's not. It hurts a lot of people to say you love them when really what you wanted was a brief fling or comfort or something along those lines.

"I think pickup lines are terrible, people aren't objects you order and then pick up."

Ha! Good point.
Abigail_Austin wrote:
Atrevida wrote:
1. Do you believe there such a thing as "falling in love" as portrayed by the media? Why or why not? Absolutely. I definitely think the entertainment industry romanticizes and idealizes love in some really, really unrealistic ways - but I believe in love, and I believe in falling in love. Hollywood (and Broadway, take your pick) likes to pretend a good relationship is a perfect relationship - and no relationship is perfect. They emphasize all the excitement of falling in love; like first kisses, first dates, all up until somebody inevitably pops the question. After that...it's like the media doesn't care. But real love, to me anyway, is the kind that lasts. You're going to fight with your partner: things will get bad and ugly, and that's just not something a lot of people want to think about. But it's part of loving someone - you endure together, you improve and grow together. And sometimes, it doesn't work out. As a child of divorce, I hate hearing ignorant people my age saying: "I'll never get divorced!" Like, do you think people get married with the intention of divorcing? Some relationships just can't be mended. And I think, a lot of the time, Hollywood likes to plant rose-colored glasses on our noses. So, yeah, I believe in falling in love - but I think the media (looking at you, too, Disney) sets a lot of us up with unrealistic expectations, and doesn't always give us an accurate representation of what relationships actually are.

2. What do you think the difference is between being in love versus having a crush? Oh, the difference is huge. Having a crush is infatuation. For me, crushes usually hit all at once. Just last year, I was working a play and I happened to be watching the actors on stage - on of my classmates was in the production, and looking at him then, I just kinda swore beneath my breath, because all of the sudden, my heart was in my throat. Crushes are an individual experience - you're not sharing love with someone. For example, my crushes were always secret. I was too shy to do anything about it. And they usually fade within a few months - either because (in my case), I realized they weren't interested/started dating someone else, or that I would always be too terrified to make the first move. But love is deeper - I feel like a lot of the time with crushes, it's physical attraction. Love is sharing a mutual affection for each other - and in my opinion, it's more dependable in any crush. Where you might have crushes on half a dozen people all at once, love is something much rarer.


3. What is the difference between friendship and romance? I think the obvious is the physical aspect that goes hand-in-hand with romance. But they're very similar concepts, really. I love my friends. A lot. I would do anything for them. And I always cherish the hugs and stuff my friends and I share - I think that's a huge thing when you're comfortable with someone, even when it's "just" a friend. Human contact is such a powerful thing. So, I think the only real difference is the level of intimacy of that contact.

4. Is there such a thing as a "harmless crush"? I think all crushes are harmless. Unless - like I saw Damnation write, if it's an adult having feelings for a minor. A crush is an individual experience, it's mostly you (unless the other person knows) experiencing romantic feelings for someone else. The guy I mentioned before, the friend I had feelings for - I had a crush on him for months. He had a girlfriend. Still does. And I never did anything about it. I wasn't out to sabotage his relationship, he's happy. Another friend on this site reminded me once that you can't waste your life waiting around for something that might not happen - and I didn't. I actually started dating somebody a few months ago, and I'm very, very happy. But I still have little feelings for my friend/classmate, and even on some other people I met at school. Most of those little crushes are simply physical things - and I wouldn't act on them. So, I guess crushes can become harmless, if you act inappropriately on them. But crushes themselves? Nah, I don't think so. The only real potential victim is you, because - well, I'm sure I don't have to spell it out. I think everybody's been there, when they realize someone they really like just doesn't feel the same.

5. What are the three most important qualities in a partner? Compassion, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. (Humor is also a HUGE thing for me.)

6. What are the three best romantic gifts? Something nostalgic - like a piece of a memory you share with that person, or maybe they just remembered something you said once, and turned that into a present somehow. Time: I love just spending time with my boyfriend. We're both young adults, we don't have very much money, and we're both insanely busy: so I appreciate the simple time we're able to spend together. Love letters - I love words. Shouldn't be a secret, considering I'm here, haha - but I love cards and notes. I keep my most meaningful notes from my family and friends in my nightstand, and I love taking them out and reading them when I'm feeling down. It always makes me feel better. Also...flowers. Sorry, I know that's four things but I love flowers and they're underrated.

7. What is most important to you out of the following:

a) words of affirmation (I love you, you're amazing, etc)

b) acts of service (doing dishes, cooking, taking out the trash, etc)

c) physical touch (hugs, kisses, caresses, etc)

d) receiving gifts (chocolate, diamonds, cards, watches, etc)

e) quality time (date night, spending the weekend together, dinner together, etc)

I picked two...haha. I would say E is MOST important to me, but I also really appreciate words of affirmation. I struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, so being reassured verbally is a huge thing for me. Even if I don't speak particularly well myself, lol - I always tell my boyfriend: "I'm a writer, not a speaker."

8. What's the best pickup line you've ever heard? Oh, gosh. None of them are good, lol. I love a good pun so you'd think it was the way to my heart, but they always come from...iffy individuals, haha.

9. What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard? Yikes. Something I got on Tinder, once. I'll spare you guys the details, lol. Trust me, it's for the best.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not? Eh, I'm iffy on this one. I definitely think you can have feelings for someone at first sight...but I don't know. I think I believe in it, but I'm not sure it's ever happened to me.

Anyway, that's my two cents. I love surveys, haha.

Thanks for doing the survey! I like reading the stuff you write, Atrevida.

This is super delayed, but thanks so much. :) I appreciate that!
Abigail_Austin Topic Starter

Atrevida wrote:
Abigail_Austin wrote:
Atrevida wrote:
1. Do you believe there such a thing as "falling in love" as portrayed by the media? Why or why not? Absolutely. I definitely think the entertainment industry romanticizes and idealizes love in some really, really unrealistic ways - but I believe in love, and I believe in falling in love. Hollywood (and Broadway, take your pick) likes to pretend a good relationship is a perfect relationship - and no relationship is perfect. They emphasize all the excitement of falling in love; like first kisses, first dates, all up until somebody inevitably pops the question. After that...it's like the media doesn't care. But real love, to me anyway, is the kind that lasts. You're going to fight with your partner: things will get bad and ugly, and that's just not something a lot of people want to think about. But it's part of loving someone - you endure together, you improve and grow together. And sometimes, it doesn't work out. As a child of divorce, I hate hearing ignorant people my age saying: "I'll never get divorced!" Like, do you think people get married with the intention of divorcing? Some relationships just can't be mended. And I think, a lot of the time, Hollywood likes to plant rose-colored glasses on our noses. So, yeah, I believe in falling in love - but I think the media (looking at you, too, Disney) sets a lot of us up with unrealistic expectations, and doesn't always give us an accurate representation of what relationships actually are.

2. What do you think the difference is between being in love versus having a crush? Oh, the difference is huge. Having a crush is infatuation. For me, crushes usually hit all at once. Just last year, I was working a play and I happened to be watching the actors on stage - on of my classmates was in the production, and looking at him then, I just kinda swore beneath my breath, because all of the sudden, my heart was in my throat. Crushes are an individual experience - you're not sharing love with someone. For example, my crushes were always secret. I was too shy to do anything about it. And they usually fade within a few months - either because (in my case), I realized they weren't interested/started dating someone else, or that I would always be too terrified to make the first move. But love is deeper - I feel like a lot of the time with crushes, it's physical attraction. Love is sharing a mutual affection for each other - and in my opinion, it's more dependable in any crush. Where you might have crushes on half a dozen people all at once, love is something much rarer.


3. What is the difference between friendship and romance? I think the obvious is the physical aspect that goes hand-in-hand with romance. But they're very similar concepts, really. I love my friends. A lot. I would do anything for them. And I always cherish the hugs and stuff my friends and I share - I think that's a huge thing when you're comfortable with someone, even when it's "just" a friend. Human contact is such a powerful thing. So, I think the only real difference is the level of intimacy of that contact.

4. Is there such a thing as a "harmless crush"? I think all crushes are harmless. Unless - like I saw Damnation write, if it's an adult having feelings for a minor. A crush is an individual experience, it's mostly you (unless the other person knows) experiencing romantic feelings for someone else. The guy I mentioned before, the friend I had feelings for - I had a crush on him for months. He had a girlfriend. Still does. And I never did anything about it. I wasn't out to sabotage his relationship, he's happy. Another friend on this site reminded me once that you can't waste your life waiting around for something that might not happen - and I didn't. I actually started dating somebody a few months ago, and I'm very, very happy. But I still have little feelings for my friend/classmate, and even on some other people I met at school. Most of those little crushes are simply physical things - and I wouldn't act on them. So, I guess crushes can become harmless, if you act inappropriately on them. But crushes themselves? Nah, I don't think so. The only real potential victim is you, because - well, I'm sure I don't have to spell it out. I think everybody's been there, when they realize someone they really like just doesn't feel the same.

5. What are the three most important qualities in a partner? Compassion, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. (Humor is also a HUGE thing for me.)

6. What are the three best romantic gifts? Something nostalgic - like a piece of a memory you share with that person, or maybe they just remembered something you said once, and turned that into a present somehow. Time: I love just spending time with my boyfriend. We're both young adults, we don't have very much money, and we're both insanely busy: so I appreciate the simple time we're able to spend together. Love letters - I love words. Shouldn't be a secret, considering I'm here, haha - but I love cards and notes. I keep my most meaningful notes from my family and friends in my nightstand, and I love taking them out and reading them when I'm feeling down. It always makes me feel better. Also...flowers. Sorry, I know that's four things but I love flowers and they're underrated.

7. What is most important to you out of the following:

a) words of affirmation (I love you, you're amazing, etc)

b) acts of service (doing dishes, cooking, taking out the trash, etc)

c) physical touch (hugs, kisses, caresses, etc)

d) receiving gifts (chocolate, diamonds, cards, watches, etc)

e) quality time (date night, spending the weekend together, dinner together, etc)

I picked two...haha. I would say E is MOST important to me, but I also really appreciate words of affirmation. I struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, so being reassured verbally is a huge thing for me. Even if I don't speak particularly well myself, lol - I always tell my boyfriend: "I'm a writer, not a speaker."

8. What's the best pickup line you've ever heard? Oh, gosh. None of them are good, lol. I love a good pun so you'd think it was the way to my heart, but they always come from...iffy individuals, haha.

9. What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard? Yikes. Something I got on Tinder, once. I'll spare you guys the details, lol. Trust me, it's for the best.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not? Eh, I'm iffy on this one. I definitely think you can have feelings for someone at first sight...but I don't know. I think I believe in it, but I'm not sure it's ever happened to me.

Anyway, that's my two cents. I love surveys, haha.

Thanks for doing the survey! I like reading the stuff you write, Atrevida.

This is super delayed, but thanks so much. :) I appreciate that!

You're welcome!

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