Forums » General Roleplay » §| The Odessa Files |§

When I became semi-conscience again, I was immediately blinded by the bright light. It was the sun shining in the large window. I moaned as I tried to sit up having to pee. As I sat, my head spun and I felt queasy. I noted the stinky garbage can by th ecouckh an dI grabbed it and dumped whatever my stomach could find to launch. A few dry heaves later, and I was ready to fall back down on the couch. But the tensing really had me busting, and it was a mirace I didn't wet the couch in al that.

I stood up and wobbled. It took a few moments for the room to quit spinning, and I somehow stumbled my way to the bathroom. I knew I was in Tommy's hotel room, but whare was Tommy? I looked around and I definitely did not have sex last night. Once Idrained, I stripped off my clothes and climbed in the shower. It was cold but I didn't care. I crumpled in a ball under the stream of water totally exhausted.

Hearing the water run as I prepared some tea and buttered toast, I thought about my time with Sacha. How such a good thing could be born out of the depths of CIA headquarters in Langley was something. Too bad the agency tended to eat their own.

I waited for Sacha to get done with the shower, but it seemed to go on long, so I went to the bathroom door and opened it slightly "Sacha, you alright?" I asked, but no answer came. I pushed the door open and found her sitting on the floor of the shower with her arms hugging her knees to her. I turned the cold water off and got a towel, and reached for her hand to help her up. "Come Sacha, you are cold!"

As she slowly rose to her feet, she suddenly wrapped me in an embrace, soaking my clothes. I held her and caressed her bare wet back as memories came flooding back.

I was freezing after the hot water ran out, but I wanted it to freeze the feelings right out of me. Why I was here in Tommy's room scared me, and I could feel those feelings I had in Ankara rise in me again. When Tommy came to the shower, I was numb.

"Tommy I... I.." I could not bring myself to say it as I shivered and grabbed at the towel he wrapped around me. He had to know... He had to... I walked out with him and he took me to the bedroom and pulled out an oversize t-shirt of his and handed it to me. I stood before him and beheld his eyes as I let the towel drop to the floor, pausing only for a moment before I lifted the shirt up and let it drop over me..

"Don't say it Sacha, it is too painful." I said as se struggled for her words. I could not but help remembering her beautiful body as she dressed in his shirt before me. I knew what I wanted to do, yet I knew what pain it would cause us both. The rift between us remained unresolved, no matter how much we wanted it to heal and close. We had been dealt a terrible hand by the biggest card shark there was, and there was nothing we could do about it.

I reached out and put my arm around her and led her to the only bed in the room, "You sleep here. I will find somewhere else." I said as she lay out on her back. I stood there for a moment, unable to take my eyes off of her.

I seemed to melt into the bed where Tommy lay me, and I felt myself slip into a dream...

It was a few years back, adn I was just out of high school. I met Tommy when I had to deliver translations to the cypher room. Tom saw me and he found out who I was and we dated. Oh to go back there again, and only wish that Steven Frost had never touched their lives. I felt the bed shake slightly and I woke up...

"Tommy, lie with me... please? We won't do anything... I ... I just need you close." My eyes fluttered open and I looked up at him, begging him to stay.

Tommy was tempted. It was so easy to jump into a familiar bed. But he fought the urge to do as she asked.

"You know it isn't a good idea Sacha..." Tommy said, knowing that falling into her arms again would bring that intense familiarity of their relationship, and bring all the trappings of it back. No, he couldn't.

"You go to sleep Sacha. I will be here watching over you, but I won't sleep with you."

Sacha seemed to sigh as she stretched out drifting away into slumber...

When he was sure she was in a deep sleep, he pulled a blanket over her and kissed her cheek gently and whispered in her ear... "Goodbye Sacha." He stepped softly toward the door, stopping to take the SIM out of his phone and destroying it. He stepped out and pulled the door shut gently, with only a click. He headed down h ehall and left the hotel, and was soon on a train to Bucherest.

I slept hard through to daylight, and when I awoke I had a splitting headache. "Mmm... damn.... Tommy...." I muttered as she sat up on the couch. I blinked my eyes as the sun was reflecting off a window and beaming in my room.

"Tommy?" I said again as I looked around. I threw off the blanket and wandered around the room, but the only sound was the drip of the bathtub tap. I went and sat down and put my hands up by my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes. I let out a sob as I wondered if I would ever see him again?

(A year later)

Tommy sat on the bed in his small apartment in Los Angeles. He used to share it with someone until they broke it off and moved to London. He hasn’t done much with the place since. Her clothes still hang in the closet and take up two of four drawers of the dresser. All the furniture was hers, but she never came back for any of it.

He got up and left whoever was next to him and took his phone out to the deck and saw that Sacha called. He called her back. “Hey, got your message. I’m awake now.” He said to her message bank. He hung up and sat looking out at the rising sun.

I couldn't return Tommy's call. Too much emotion played inside me. It wouldn't be until several months had passed before I called him again... and I shamelessly needed him and his professional skills....

Never mind it was illegal for CIA agents to conduct their work on home soil. I had all but been discharged from the agency. It was only that clause that kept Steve Frost's hook in me that said otherwise. I believe Tommy had the same issue.

My throat tightened when I heard his voice say hello....

"Hi Tommy...."
"Sasha... how are you?"
"Good.... look, uh, I need to talk to you.... in person...
"Ok, I'm in L.A. and was about to head to the Corner Java Cafe. If you're in toen, I'll see you there in a half?"
"Um, yeah I'm in L.A. I know where it is. See you soon."
Sasha?"
Yes, Tommy?"
"It's good to hear your voice."
"You too. Bye."

I was torn between smiling and crying as I felt the feelings of old well up in me. I went to get ready to meet him.... wering that little black dress he first saw me in the first day we met....

Talking to Sasha had me remembering the good times... we had several. Granted many of them were when we were embedded as a married couple, but still.... there are certain bonds one forms when working together....

I waited at the cafe for her, and I had finished my coffee and sandwich when she walked in. Just like the old days, she walked toward me in a sensual, graceful way, and her smile I had missed. Sasha was not one for smiling. She had a resting bitch face like no other. I stood up and we gave each other a light welcoming embrace with a light kiss on the cheek...

"It's good to see you again Sasha. I'm assuming this has to do with work??

I was nervous as I approached the cafe. My hand began to shake as I reached for the door. I swallowed and went to pull it open only to have it open toward me when a man was leaving. He politely held the door open for me after he walked out, and I stepped in as it closed behind me.

I looked around the busy place and couldn't see anyone that stood out as Tommy to me, so I got in the cue and ordered a latte. When I had muy drink, I was sure I spotted Tommy at a table by a window. It was common to find him by windows. He liked to see what was gong on. Surely he saw me walk past on my way to the door? I walked slowly toward him, stepping around others as I approached.

"Tommy? How are you?" I said as he looked up to me from his phone. I smiled softly as our eyes met. It had been too long....

When he got up and gave me a hug, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There was no other feeling like being in Tommy's arms. When they parted, Sasha sat down across from where he was sitting, and she looked up at him and said, "No Tommy, I just wanted to see you. We have been through a lot, you and I."

Tommy closed his eyes for that moment they hugged. When they took their seats opposite each other at the small table, he smiled slightly and nodded.

Reaching his hand out across the table, he would take Sasha’s hand and say. “We have. We both are damaged goods. It is good to see you. Would you like to go for a walk?”

He wanted to get out of the crowded place and go somewhere quieter, and the Park was really close by.

I close my eyes and visions of our walks around Langley those first weeks after we met came to mind. We were so idealistic then...

“Yes! A walk would be nice...” I exclaimed as I squeezed Tommy’s hand for a moment.

I soon let go and stood up, wanting to walk with him again, hoping to again learn where his head was at.

It was with mixed emotions that I walked with my first love. The memories... the feelings.... they came rushing back. I lingered on the fond ones and quickly passed up the painful ones. Was it possible that we had finally matured enough to move past what we did... what happened between us... what happened to us?

I was quiet as we walked. The air was fresh like that day in Langley when we went to the roof.... I loved that we held hands as we left the cafe and didn’t let go until we came to a bench by a creek. “Let’s take a break.” I said softly but in a tone like we were on an operation. I let go of Sasha’s hand and sat on the bench and looked at her feet. Will it ever go away? Could they ever be free of it and be able to love each other again?

“What has he done to us?” Sasha said in a choked voice as she went to sit beside Tommy. “We can never go back... back to what were were in those first heady days in Langley.”

She slid her arm around him and leaned into his shoulder. “Thomas Shaw, I love you, and I always will love you, no matter what. Screw Steve Frost. Screw the CIA. Screw the whole thing. I want my life back, but I want it with you Thomas. I need you in my life... I feel so hollow without you...”

Sasha let the tears run down her cheeks. She had pulled the cork on all her feelings, and she laid herself bare before the man she loved. What he would do with what she said and how he would respond, she was ready for the worst but her heart hopes for the best with every beat.

Tommy was quiet as he listened to Sasha. He returned her embrace and stared at a squirrel running around a nearby tree as her confession of her love for him spilled out. His chest raised and fell with a long deep breath.

Sasha was his first love... he had never gotten close to anyone before her. And she was right. Steve took full advantage of them and their love for each other when he recruited them as a couple to be CIA operatives. Their missions together had taken their toll, and Tommy knew Sasha ran into trouble in Germany after she broke up with him. That was Steve’s fault as well.

“Sasha... I know... I should not have let you go so easily that day in Ankara. I love you too ... and always will... how can we get this stain that Steve and his manipulations of our lives have caused? Will it ever come out? Will we ever get free? You may have a chance... but the hooks he has in me...”

Almost as if Steve was listening in on them, Tommy was interrupted. Both his and Sasha’s phone rang... They both were to meet Steve at Stacy’s Diner on Main Street in an hour....

”... I should not have let you go so easily that day in Ankara. I love you too ... and always will... “

Hearing Tommy say that in a moment of quiet innocence between them had Sasha flush with emotion. ‘Will we ever get free.’ she had wished he could. She had thought she had managed to finally depart the CIA, but Steve Frost had his ways of keeping hooks in his assets. This call was proof of that.

With a sigh, Sasha let he phone ring out. Tommy didn’t. When he told her they were requested to meet Steve, Sasha took Tommy’s hand. “Tommy... a request? What would happen if we just ignored Steve?”

She looked deep into Tommy’s eyes and knew what his answer would be... he had a couple years left before he could be totally free...

“Sasha, you know I can’t. Steve will have me in a federal penitentiary at the snap of his fingers. Hell, he would send me to Guantanamo if I didn’t have my American citizenship preventing him from doing it...” Tommy sighed and turned to face Sasha. He set his hands on her hips and looked into her eyes.

“My big brother taught me how to flirt. It sure worked on you that day... things were never so simple Sasha.” He rambled. Taking a deep breath, he embraced Sasha. “Two more years my love... if he reneges on our deal I’ll kill him.” He said as he held her close, taking a deep inhalation through her hair. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back with his hand.

“You remember Medved? Odessa?” Tommy asked, giving her head another kiss.