Forums » Smalltalk » best way to deal with a lack of motivation?

howdy folks! bit of a less fun topic this time, but something i'd like to address anyways.

i've been having a severe lack of motivation for RP lately, and i really don't know why. part of me thinks it's some form of insecurity caused by my GREAT anxiety and that i feel like my partners don't really enjoy my writing? i think a lot of that is sourced from having a large amount of people just bail on me in the middle of our RP. and i don't really know what i'm doing wrong. i mean, i put out a lot of effort, i do my best to maintain OOC communication, and sometimes i even like to give gifts to my partner in the forms of art and what not. it's not like i'm not trying- or maybe i am and i just haven't noticed?

it's sort of like that feeling that you're just doing mediocre, i guess- to put it into real life terms, kinda like when you're the person of a group that's expendable. you're there to give what you've got, but you're not really great. and that's how i feel like i'm putting out with my RPs right now. okay. not good, not great, and certainly not fantastic- just okay. that feeling of being less than memorable is what's killing my inspiration, if i think about it. it's very much akin to being that one person who's passionate about something and all you wanna do is talk about, because oh gosh YOU'RE SO INTERESTED- but nobody else is, so you slowly lose that creative fuel.

now i'm certainly aware that this all might sound a tad silly. it's no form of gloating when i say i used to be pretty happy with my writing- i've always been a writer, and i know that what i write isn't garbage or so i've been told, hmm because i put my heart into it and have taken bunches of difficult courses just for the sake of improving it. i've even had partners who say they love my posts- but if that's the case, why do i feel like nobody does, and that they just don't have the heart to tell me they want to quit?

all of this could just be an inner insecurity, like i said earlier, but sometimes it's hard to tell. this all ended up a lot more melodramatic than i intended it to be (hooo' boy) but it's a good practice to get out your thoughts sometimes.

and i'd be interested in hearing if any of you guys have experienced anything similiar- and if you have, how did you handle it?

Hey there pal!

Sad to see you this way man, always figured you'd be more confident about your writing and stuff ('cause you have the damned right to be!). But this.. curse.. it quite common about us creative types, call it an art block or writer's block or a lack of anything required to write/draw/compose/you name it!

And yeah, there will always be people who suddenly turn into ghosts and leave you hanging, but always remember that aside from people who do not like the RP - or are too busy to respond -, there are even more who do enjoy reading your posts. Think about the good things, and if you really doubt your partner is enjoying themself as much as you do, just ask them before they leave your or ignore you.

I know my English gets sloppy when I'm tired, but I really wanted to reply to this thread thingy.
Smash that insecurity, you're a great RP'er who happens - like most of us - to have stumbled across ghosts/people who don't like literate or just dumb goons.

So keep kicking, friend!
~ Garnaalio

This is a short response. But. Id recommend taking a nap, eating.

Maybe take a break and watch tv or even better, do a puzzle, or write random words down, that way your mind is staying active, heck, reading is nice when you can do it.

Just be honest and communicate with your partners about your motivation. I know thats hard. Im in the same boat a lot of the time. Sometimes I dont have the motive to write out a message to everyone lol.

I swear rpr needs like, an unmotivated button we press to send an automatic PM to all our rp partners.

But dont worry about people who bail. In rp that happenens frequently. Your beautiful.

First off, let me say that you're doing awesome by trying to face any feelings of anxiety or discomfort your feeling by trying to self-reflect. Self-reflection is an absolutely powerful tool!

I will also like to secondly say that I am in no way a professional and anything I say is purely based on speculation from taking psychology courses, personal experiences with therapy, watching too many documentaries, and my own intrinsic desire to understand the human mind.

Coming from my own personal experiences with writing, I can say that windows of inactivity are quite common when I was feeling horribly insecure, depressed, or overall unsatisfied by my writing partners. In no way were my partners terrible, but I wasn't getting what I wanted out of a story, and it took me a really long time to come to terms with understanding that what I wanted was perfectly okay to push for when it came to a story.

My own insecurities seem to mirror yours, though that can be said about hundreds of thousands of people. That feeling of worthlessness is what I like to call the "Mean Voice" in my own mind. I know that it is a version of myself that is desperately trying to put me down, make me feel terrible, and it wins a lot.

We are our own worst critic, and we are often never fair to ourselves. We think things about our writing, our efforts, our communication, and friendships that show a really really negative light on us and never nearly so brutally on anyone else. That light is often blinding, red, and disgustingly persistent. Sometimes we can't find the light switch and that can be equally shattering to your own ego, self-esteem, and motivation.

When I usually start to feel myself dipping downward into a place in which I'm feeling negatively about myself, I will talk to my husband about it. I will talk to myself about it. I will inform myself that I am feeling very low, I will let myself and my support network know that I'm having a bad day and might need a little extra encouragement. I'll start saying nice things to myself. I'll use positive affirmations on myself and my husband will also provide them for me.

The thing that is always most important to remember is that it is perfectly okay to have a terrible, no good, horrible bad day for yourself and just not do anything. Cry. Let the Mean Voice win its round and just cry it out until you sleep. Be sure to eat and drink water on those days, but sometimes it is going to definitely win. We are humans, and losing is part of growing.

What is extra important is to wake up, shower or take a relaxing bath, brush your teeth, wash your face, have a comfort food breakfast(preferably something a little more healthy than sugary things), and drink a big glass of water.

Start the day telling yourself that you're a really good writer. Tell yourself how much you really enjoy writing. Throw it at yourself hard with those positive affirmations. Sometimes this can kick-start something beautiful within yourself and start picking up the pieces and beating back the Mean Voice that is surely going to start creeping in to your thoughts again. Try and write in the moments that you're feeling the happiest and telling yourself how good it feels.

I usually found that there was music to brighten up my mood and get some really good things written out in a reply. n

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If you are writing with others who are not showing any kind of interest, and most especially when they have a complete lack of interest, then you are not writing with the right kind of partners. It's important for people to communicate, laugh, toss ideas back and forth, and get a great amount of friendship out of a writing partner.
(I am aware that there are a great many writers who can write without ever really talking to someone. That is a talent and I do not have it, and it is certainly not something for everyone.)


Perhaps this is something you might want to discuss with these partners? If you feel that the story on your end is super exciting, you're motivated, you're feeling the hype and jamming to it, but your RP partner is not really showing half as much? I think asking them if they're getting what they want out of the roleplay is a good start. Make sure they are being open and honest with what they want the story to do and where it is going to go. Ask them what has been their favourite part of the story to see if you can get an idea what is interesting to them.

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When you're talking about receiving compliments and not believing them, I can relate with this very well.

I have been told a lot that I am smart, intelligent, descriptive, detailed, a good writer, fun, inspiring, and more... but I struggle on a daily basis to believe most of those compliments. Logically speaking we know we are smart, good at writing when we are, and over all we are lovely. However, again, this is our Mean Voice shading the world with a very thick layer of doubt.

Doubt is probably the most difficult part of insecurity and anxiety to fight with, and I myself have not fully relinquished its hold on me. Logically speaking I know I'm intelligent, but there are days where I really, truly feel stupid. There are days where I feel like my writing is below sub-par.

Fighting it? I'm still figuring those things out, but my best way of doing so so far is basically telling myself something my Father-In-Law (An AA counselor and life couch) told my husband, who then told me.

"When you're hearing those negative words about yourself, you need to tell them you've got No Vacancy for those thoughts. You don't have room for them, because you've only got room for the positive ones."

This is something I tell myself too. I don't have room for those thoughts, I don't have room for doubt. I have a life to live, fun to have, and love for this hobby to share with a lot of people. I'll listen to happy bouncing music, laugh at vine compilations, play some video games, make a new character, or just do silly little roleplays.

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It is okay that you feel this way, and I hope you know it's not going to last forever so long as you don't let it take you over. I once made my writing partners spend 6 months before I actually made a reply to them. I have ghosted, I have lost interest, have cried hard and lost good stories because I couldn't fight my insecurities for a really long time. It's something that is definitely an uphill battle.

Anytime you're starting to feel really doubtful about your abilities, feel free to drop me a chat. I'll be happy to try and give you some positive affirmations.

I take time off. I just do the forums and interductions. One time after 5 intense roleplays I took a couple of weeks off. You can always chat OCC with your freinds til your motivation and inspiration comes back.

What helps me with a lack of motivation is to take a little time off from the more serious stuff I'm doing, and just brainstorm other ideas--characters, worlds, even simpler one-off RP's with friends I know would be perfectly willing to do that kind of thing. The thing I am creating doesn't matter, but that usually gets me motivated to continue work on the bigger, heavier stuff that people are currently depending on me to continue with.

Occasionally sometimes someone will set a deadline for me to post or the character can no longer be used in that RP and that gets me motivated too, but it usually has to be a clear-cut moderator of that RP, someone who has the authority to kick me (or at least the character) out of the RP, for that to work.