Forums » Smalltalk » Life after high school...

So there’s a couple things I want to discuss in this post but I’ll try not to make it to long..

First I graduate in May and I still don’t know what I want to be.. Every time I think i want to be something I change my mind. I have a couple ideas of what I want to be but I’m just kinda worried that nothing will come from it or I won’t succeed


Now the second thing is kinda one that my family judges me for... is it bad that I don’t want to go to college right away? After all my years of school I just need a break from all the stress.. Not to mention I want to have freedom for once!! It won’t be a long break (a year at the most) but I was wondering what you guys think.



But either way I can’t believe I’m finally gonna graduate... I’m excited but terrified at the same time

Hi! It's normal to not know what you want to do after high school. A lot of people end up going to college and changing their minds halfway through and getting a degree in something else entirely. Even 40 year olds change their minds while in the middle of a career, and go back to college for something else!

Secondly, it's fine to take a break inbetween high school and college. You shouldn't be judged for that.

I personally dropped out of high school when I was 16 to get my GED another way instead, and then decided college isn't for me at all. So, despite the fact that a lot of people in my family judge me for deciding that as of right now, I do not plan on going to college and instead am building my career as an author, it's my choice and what will make me happy.

All that matters is that you enjoy what you do, and it makes you happy. Life is too short to try and live up to other peoples' standards and expectations.

It is absolutely normal not to know what you want to do with you're life. The whole, pick a major and get a carreer that lasts your whole life schtick is a dinosaur like idea left over from the 50's. My dad was an electrical engineer while i was growing up. When I got into middle school, he realized he didn't like it and went back to school. He's not a speech teacher at an elementary school. You are never stuck. You can always change. Don't let fear of failure hold you back though. Everybody fails at something at some point. Everybody struggles. Everybody makes mistakes. It isn't the end of the world, just a small chapter of your life. Try something you think looks fun. If it doesn't work out, that's not a bad thing. That's a learning process. Try something else. You have so much life ahead of you! Do something that makes you happy or do something that changes the world. Either way, you do you.

Hi! Fresh college student here! Literally just finishing up my first semester haha. In my opinion, I side with the other two; it's perfectly fine if ya change your mind on what you wanna do with your life and still don't know yet! It's your life, not somebody else's, so feel free to experiment with other options and see what fits best for you. Heck, even now, I'm contemplating over whether I truly wanna be a veterinarian or if I wanna be a genetic counselor, or even an author. In my opinion, college is the very place to experiment and find what you love!

As for not going to college right away, I say don't worry! If you're the one paying for college, then you get to make the choice whether you wanna dive headfirst into it or wait a year before dipping your toes in. And yeah, it'd definitely help with you cooling down from high school for a bit before heading to college.

It's nice to get some work experience but be careful because some people go to work, and then they get kind of stuck in the daily grind of paying bills and don't end up going. Another option is to go part time and work part time. Then again everybody needs some time off once in a while just to recharge their brains.

Two important things to consider with a delay. One, as Abigail mentioned, it's really common for that delay to be indefinite and just never get around to college. Second, most scholarships are only available to graduating seniors. Funding college after a delay can be pretty difficult. That said, it's not shameful to want a break.

Other things to keep in mind: you might find you favor a career that doesn't need college, just a trade school, a couple minor certificates, or even just on-the-job training. As much as I'm in favor of higher education, it is pretty expensive. (I'm assuming United States, as I am pretty clueless about other countries.) Some degrees are designed to be flexible, too, and if money is an issue, I'd suggest not going past an associates degree until you feel more sure (low classes have a better chance of transferring).

And I'm gonna suggest something that seem weird: If you don't lie what you want to do for a living, focus on what you want to get out of it. There are tons of jobs that people rarely want to do, but which are important and which can result it nice benefits, whether that's a direct benefit or just something you'll be able to afford. Don't sell your soul or anything, but know that as you become more knowledgeable about something, pride about that actually follows - even for those doing sewage! (Not saying you have to look there, just to be open-minded.)

An aside: Expect to keep having dreams about school for awhile. And possibly to occasionally wake up thinking you're late for class.

Thank you everyone for the advice!

Speaking as a recent highschool senior who graduated in May, you're experiences all the same things I was worried about. I know how you feel because I'm still trying to decide what I really want to be and my first college semester is already gonna end soon. But it's okay because I still have time to decide what I want to do with my life. Besides gen-eds you have to get out of the way and you don't need a major to do them.

I didn't want to go to college right away, hell i still don't want to be in college. However, my mom pushed me into it. I couldn't say no because I still live at home mainly because I never had a job because 'school is your job'. I think that if you don't want to go to college right away then you shouldn't be forced to. You're just gonna end up hating every moment of it and you'll feel isolated.

My biggest obstacle in college is the sense of smallness I have. I only ever saw the same people throughout k-12 but college is so massive I only ever see one or two people I used to know. I have a strong sense of isolation there I don't really have friends. That one is on me because I'm a nervous wreck. But university is big and it makes me feel overwhelmed. I was not ready for college.

I'm sorry if this didn't help but I thought that my perspective would be helpful since you're similar to me.

also i would reccomend community college for gen-eds it's cheaper and way less complicated

Thank you!

I'm 30. Two years ago I changed careers completely. I'm not doing what I went to college for anymore.

It's ok that you don't know what you want to be right now. Some folks, like me, don't work it out until much later in the game.

There are generally four kinds of jobs;

A job that doesn't need a degree or experience ("entry level") -- these are getting rarer. Many "entry level" jobs want education and/or work experience too. It's rough if you have neither.
A job that requires a degree, but little work experience.
A job that requires both a degree and significant work experience.
A job that is willing to overlook education if you have enough work experience.

That last one is becoming VERY common, especially among startups and tech companies. Trade jobs often require a certificate that is much more affordable than a bachelor's. As other people have said, gap years are pretty common. I took one.

Also, many jobs with larger companies assist you with schooling. My wife works for a bank, she doesn't have a degree, but she's planning on pursuing one and when she does they will help her pay for education. There are a ton of options that let you decide about these things later on.

HOWEVER:

A degree is a unique and valuable thing. A degree, especially in the humanities or arts, teaches you how to research, how to think critically, how to debate, how to write professionally, how to collaborate, how to lead. These are all "soft skills" that are VERY popular among recruiters filling higher paid positions. A degree opens up a ton of doors, both in being able to say you have one, and in being able to apply those skills in the workforce to distinguish yourself from your peers. You DO NOT have to end up doing what your degree is for -- the skills it teaches you are greater than the sum of their parts. I have a theatre degree, but I work in marketing. Everything you learn at college is transferable. Your degree doesn't define the rest of your life. So if waiting a year would significantly harm your ability to pursue a degree... Think very seriously before you take the gap. College isn't that bad, honest.

Something throw in. Colleges don't run like other schools. You take 2-5 classes each term (usually 3-4), and you you don't have them every day. Depending on the college, each class generally meets 1-4 times a week, but often for more than just one hour. For example, the one I went to, classes were once a week for about 4 hours with breaks, and my classes were mostly project-oriented rather than lecture-oriented (I went to a design school). 4 hours might sound crazy, but in most cases, it goes by pretty fast.

Like Ben said, it's not so bad, and there tends to be a lot more interesting stuff to do and learn, and you have more control over what you learn. So like... if you can get a transfer degree (mostly liberal arts stuff) on a scholarship, holy crap jump on that.

The hardest part with community colleges, from what I hear, is making sure your financial stuff gets managed. That's the most common complaint I've seen, is crappy offices "managing" that. I didn't deal with that, since I went to a stupid-expensive for-profit school that wanted everything to go smoothly for me to help boost their stats.

Thank you all! I will keep all of this in mind!