Forums » RP Discussion » How do you define "romance"?

A lot of us are looking for at least a bit of romance in our RPs, but that word is defined so differently by different people.

Some people think of romance as feel-good, fluffy interactions that send butterflies through their stomach, with love always triumphing in the end. Others see romance as something tempestuous and tortured, with a kind of heart-breaking catharsis as the end goal. Others think of it in more real-world terms: trying to make a relationship work despite the drudgery of daily life. While still others want a mix, or maybe something I haven't even thought of.

If you like to RP romance, what kind of things/tropes do you look for? How do you define romance in your writing?

I fall between wanting fluffy romance and tortured romance, tbh. Usually a mix of both is ideal for me between characters in a relationship. Soft morning kisses and raspy "I love you"s are SO GOOD, but I also want the love to be tested. I want the characters' relationship to work because they've managed it while going through Hell. All that said, romance is rarely a focus point for me, but I do really like it to have this substance.

I'm really not interested in playing with the more real-world definition, lol. I think we all get enough of that and that falls more into slice-of-life, which ain't appealing to me.

But good question!! I agree with you that people tend to be looking for something unique and special to them when they search for "romance". It can't be easily defined among people.

I usually define romance as A] Emotional Intimacy and B] The air of mystery and intrigue surrounding feelings of love.

For me it's very much about exploring those feelings, seeing how they manifest, never knowing exactly how two characters will bond, and putting them in various situations that help those feelings develop and change. It's very important to me that nothing is ever just 'business as usual', as the idea of mystery is very important to romance for me.

A dedicated flanking buddy.

In real-life terms? Couldn't say. But in media or RP, I want it easy and warm and sincere. I don't like drama or a giveth-and-taketh-away emotional rollercoaster; I want it to take the time to become, not necessarily uncomplicated, but unquestionable, unshakeable, an immutable truth, reflected in the certainty that each party is ready and willing to support the other.

Real life can be mean and it can be fickle. In my interior life, I just want to take refuge in kindness.

I've never HAD a romance, but my personal love language is sharing things, doing tasks (running out to get cooking ingredients they're missing, doing a chore so they don't have to, renting a movie they're interested in seeing), and trying to anticipate needs so I can grease whatever wheels might need it, so to speak, and make things as easy as possible. I think my characters' behaviors would be likely to reflect mine, so that's probably what a romance would look like with them!

Actions of tenderness, kindness, emotional intimacy.

In my roleplays, I define it as two people with an emotional connection who fall in love and then I guess it goes from that point. They get into a relationship and try to make it work, but I also love small romantic scenes where the two characters are alone and just get to relax in eachothers company and be cute uwu

I'm in a similar boat here, insofar as I don't want it to be just one thing or the other. I like moments of tension, intermixed with fluff that make the tension and heartache of the other times so much more palpable and real, in a way that will hit you in the feels if something truly horrific and/or tragic does actually happen.

However, I don't mind little slice of life moments, as I believe those are sometimes the best backdrop for fluff (taking a vacation together or spending a night off work just cuddling on the couch watching movies or binge-watching their favorite show together), or for getting into the heartbreak/emotional torture (for example, a housewife who's bored or exasperated with the day to day grind has an affair to get some excitement in her life, leading to tragic consequences--does she abandon her husband and children for the more exciting suitor, or return to the steady, loving, but dull man she married and care for the children she in truth does love?).

Honestly, my definition of romance in an RP is as varied as the word itself.
I enjoy all of it really, from fluffy cute little interactions, to complicated trying to get to understand one another, to the flirtatious not so innocent underbelly.
Though, I can also enjoy those things outside of an actual romance too, like if it's a one sided affection, or if it's a fling, or basically anything.
I just enjoy how the interactions vary and different characters react to each other, every relationship is different and nuanced.

I guess I'm just long winded saying, it's really too hard to define when you like variety and development. Haha