Forums » Smalltalk » I need help deciding on something big.

I have a dog, as you may know if we have talked before or read my bio, and am having some trouble deciding whether to keep him or not. I have had him for a year or two, and know someone who wants him, and he has been a huge handful. He crapped in the house once(on a carpeted hallway might I add...) and he barks nonstop if I am not with him for 30 seconds. I don't want to hear that it is my decision, because I know that and if I wasn't having a hard time deciding about it, I wouldn't be typing right now. I just need help on deciding if I should keep him or give him to a family that wants him. They don't live that far away and they seem like good people.
He is very 'happy' and extravagant all the time... He is good company, a good friend, but is so much matinence. And he is a husky(siberian I think, but am not sure), so he is a 'center of attention' type of dog... I have made many memories with him, and wanted to prove my dad wrong, that I can take care of him and keep him for more than 3 weeks. But it has been less than a week and I am already thinking that he should go. Thing is, it is very hard to do so.... My parents(at the time) are not in the best mood. My dad keeps playing a game on his phone and my mom... Well she is annoyed by it and I don't know what else because I asked if she needed help with anything and she sounded like a dragon defending it's gold... Yikes.
I just simply need help with this. My cat has gone missing and that was hell to go through, the two days Thor(my dog) was gone was hell to go through, so giving him away for good will be hell, torture, a migraine that won't go away, cancer, and the Black Plague all at once. I want to decide this for not only my own good, but for the sake of my mom and dad who honestly, don't like the dog. It is a terrible thing to say but, I might just get another dog. No, it certainly wouldn't replace the gigantic hole in my heart, but it might be for the best... Agh! I just don't know.... Please, if you have any idea that isn't you saying, "It is your decision.", I beg of you to please tell! I know this is my decision to make, but it is one of the toughest.

Please, and I mean this in the nicest way possible - don't get another dog, if you are thinking about giving this one away in the first place. Him defecating on the carpet once, while yes it's a pain, animals do this. And it's only once. When they become old, and decrepit, as we all do, they will, like some of us, lose the ability to hold it. Puppy pads might turn into a necessity. If that bothers you, don't own an animal.

I have a wonderful old fluffy lady called Missy. She is 15 years old, and has abandonment issues out the wazoo because of past situations like this, and this inevitably happens to animals that get tossed from home to home. If you do give him away, make sure it's as close to a 'forever home' as possible.

Whatever happens in the future, please never get an animal 'to prove a point'. Kind of like how no one should have a baby to prove a point. If you do decide in the future to get another pet, please do research. Huskies are renowned for being companion animals, and having anxiety/abandonment issues.

Find him a new, loving home, preferably one that won't get him simply for their kids. I'm not trying to be mean, but huskies need a lot of attention and love. They also need to expel a lot of energy (as most animals do), and have a tendency to need to chew. Huskies, because of their breed, need somewhere in the range of 4-6 hours a day of exercise. There's a reason these dogs are working dogs.

I wish you the best, as I know this isn't easy for you, but it won't be easy for this animal either, especially since he can't understand your explanation of why you are giving him up.

I think that if you can't handle him, and you know someone who can and would be happy to, it would be better to give him to them.

Listen kid, I know you're underage, so I'm going to do my best to be civil and not get a BNBR strike...

YOU. NEED. TO. KEEP. THAT. DOG.

So what if they crap on the carpet? It can be cleaned and Febrezed. Or be replaced with tile from bloody Home Depot for easier cleaning. That pup is attached to you like a child with it's parent. They need to be fed, looked after, and trained. Dogs are not cats. The most they can be left alone is few hours at most.

If you want to "prove a point", be mature enough to say to yourself 'I need help', then kick yourself in the butt to find a way to get that help. Your parents won't, so you say? The internet can provide hundreds of thousands of resources to help you as long as you know how and where to look.

Now, I've never owned a husky, but I do own pit bulls. I also know every dog breed is different, but the one thing the majority of them need, especially medium to large breeds is EXERCISE. Go to Petsmart or Petco, get a leash, along with a comfortable nylon collar if the pup doesn't have one, and walk him/her around your yard for about 30 minutes to an hour.

Do this either on your weekend mornings and afternoons or when you get home from school. Do it consciously for a week or so and soon it'll become second nature to you and your dog.

Another thing, look up videos and guides by TRAINED professionals on how to best train your dog, or ask advice from the trainer at the pet store.

In closing, the big brother in me is beyond aggravated by your asking something so ridiculous, but at the same time, I'm willing to help you as long as you listen.

Now, I've been as unbiased as I can be. I'm gonna go sit in my corner and breathe.

Yours,
Lucian.

While I believe Diablo was being a little rude in the way he phrased his message, I don't disagree with him, or Demilicious.

I do think that it might've been helpful to research a bit on different breeds to decide which one would have been easier to handle. And while I know animals crapping everywhere is annoying, they themselves may not be able to help it. As Demilicious said, pads may become a necessarity, or it could be a simple case of training your dog to take a poop outside.

I understand that deciding to give away a dog, put down a dog, etc are difficult choices (I've been through it) I strongly believe that if you are unable to provide sufficent love, time and care to an animal or breed's requirements, then it would be a wise idea to find a caring, loving family/owner who can provide what you are unable to.

Hope this helps a little.

Do not let anyone guilt you into keeping the dog if you cannot take care of it and do not want to.

If taking care of the dog is too strenuous on you emotionally, mentally and physically and you do not want the dog, then yes give it to a family who does want it and is capable of taking care of it if that is an option.

Do not get another dog after. At least not for 5 years when you have had time to figure out your limitations. You might realize dogs are not for you. Which is perfectly fine.

I disagree that you need to 'mature up' and take care of the dog anyway. As someone who was guilted into keeping a pet which I loved but couldn't handle instead of giving it to someone who could both love and handle them, I regret not doing so.

If this dog stresses you out to a serious extent you may find yourself feeling aggressive and resentful over time.

Try your best absolutely but only if that's what's best for both of you.

It wasn't just that I was mad enough about him doing that once. Honestly, I should have let him out because he was telling me, but I was home alone at the time and my parents don't want me outside where the wrong person could see. I should have let him out(he ate jalepeño pizza the night before, so it was messy.... So very messy...).
And the information about the abandonment issues I can understand(No, I wasn't abandoned.). He was a drop off and I adopted him, so giving him away might in fact be a bad decision seeing as how that happened. And I probably need to do more sea search in to how to take better care of him and train him properly. Because in the past(do note, I have never owned a dog for this long and have absolutely NO experience with a dog of this high of maintenance), I have yelled and even... Hit him. I hate the fact that I did and it haunts me. I should never have, and I know this now. I should have known that before, and it was a terrible thing. So I can't stress how bad I feel and how I want to make it up to him but I have no idea as of how. I don't do it anymore, I only say things with a louder voice to assert my authority. But knowing this information does help, thank you very much!

I feel that way as well... But I still want him. I want him more than I want to give him away. The only reason I am thinking of giving him away is because he annoys the crap out of my family and my dad has the biggest temper(no abuse has he done, but he has gotten mad enough to smack the crap out of the dog. And I am afraid of it going too far...). I am in no way scared of my parents, but I only fear that he may lash out and I intend on preventing it.

Listen. I'm speaking to you as someone with experience.

My mom picked up a stray dog she found on the road. No collar, no chip. She brought it home with the intent to bathe it and then take it to a shelter. My dad fell in love with the dog, demanded we keep it.

He took care of that dog for a month.

He left the dog with us when he moved out.

My mom and I grew to resent and loathe this dog. He wasn't a bad dog. He knew how to sit when you told him, he was smart and could learn rules fast, but he was a HIGH maintenance dog. He needed constant exercise and work in order to be a "good" dog (note: all dogs are good dogs with proper care, I'm not saying he was a bad dog), but my mom and I are lazy people.

We couldn't take care of this dog.

Giving him to a home that could give him the care he needed was the best decision we could have made for him.

I am telling you now that finding this dog a home, a home that loves and wants him and can give him the best home possible, is the best thing you can do for this animal. Ultimately the decision is up to you, but please please take into consideration what is best for this animal. Is it a life where he's being harshly spoken to often / a lot of the time, possibly with the option of having one / both of your parents snap at him, either verbally or physically? Or given to a home where he can feel loved and cherished and maybe only occasionally yelled at at the large things?

I don't know your constant home life, only the info that's been given in the previous posts, but as someone who has been in a similar situation, where a dog could've been given a better home than I was offering it, I am telling you, please think of the dog first.


I have been on the other end to! We also had a dog who was so shy he would start shaking like a leaf if you so much as motioned or looked in his general direction. That being said, he wasn't a bad dog, just skiddish and kept to himself. The older he got, them ore he crapped on the floor all the time, it's what he did as he got older, he couldn't control himself, it wasn't his fault. Dogs are big and long-time commitments, and they get old just as we do, and with age means loss of function a lot of the time. We had several chances throughout his life to give him to another home, but none of them were willing to give him the lax, non-invasive social life we could, the care that we knew he needed, etc. Again, put the dog's needs ahead of your own.



And in the comment of "I'll get another dog after this one" - please don't. Please wait. Don't get a bounce back animal. You said you've had a cat before? Then wait a while and maybe think about getting one of those. If you are absolutely set on getting a dog, then please do research first. And not "One or two sites" worth of research. Deep research. Different dogs come with different challenges. Some require more exercise, others more space. I know my small dog was HECK to teach to potty train, and even after he learned he was still stubborn about still peeing in the house. Take the time and do proper research.

TL;DR: Think of the animal first - what is best for him, not you. Don't get a bounce back animal, do your research.

Your points and opinions are very true. And I know that cleaning can be easy, but the tiling can be expensive and my family is already quit tied in finances. So all we could do is rip the carpeting out(which isn't that bad an idea. We have already taken out 80% of the carpeting that was already in the house. And lord knows what is in it o_o).
I have already been planning of getting him a new collar. The last one was broken and the one he is using currently doesn't belong to him, it is another dog of ours'. And I was hoping to get one of the vest ones(the types that don't choke dogs.) and I want to walk him so he gets more exercise. But I'd have to schedule it right. And my dad doesn't allow me to walk around the neighborhood(and I don't blame him, we haven't seen the whole neighbourhood and my paranoia will tell me every house is a serial killers' house.) and the only time I can wlak him is with my friend, and I don't really ever ask to walk around when she is with me since I forget a lot.
But your opinions still, they are very important and surely noted. I would train him by the internet but it costs money on almost everything. Some thing I find that looks either hard or simple are never clear on instructions or they don't describe it well or they don't provide enough information. Still, there are some out there so it wouldn't hurt to look deeper.

I say it should come down to whether you're wanting to give the dog away for your parents' sake, for your sake, or for the dog's sake.

If the family has more space than you and can give the dog more attention than you feel like you can, or will, I say go for it, give the dog to the family, and ask if you can visit him from time to time. If he's barking a lot, maybe he needs more exercise or mental stimulation, so it comes down to which home will be more likely provide that.

However, if it's about the same...the dog would have about the same amount of attention and space and good care in either place, then it comes down to whether you would be happier in the long run with the dog there another 5 to 7 years, or however much longer this dog will live, or whether you would be happier either with no pets until you're older or with a lower maintenance pet like a cat, or a fish, or a gekko, etc. It's true, the dog is very attached to you, it sounds like, but if you feel like you're going to just get resentful and feel angry towards the dog, and you have a good alternative, take the alternative. You're not doomed for 7-10 years just because you made a bad decision once, if you can find a good home for the dog. There's nothing wrong with giving him away, in my opinion, especially if his needs might be better met by the other family.

However...if you're only considering giving the dog away because he's a nuisance for your parents, but you would rather keep him, then you should look into the training options for barking and into seeing if he can get more exercise and some mentally stimulating toys and try to make it work.

All of this. Truly. ❤

There is no shame in making a mistake. We all make them and that's okay. But as much as it hurts you to let this animal go, it is for the best. You need to put him first and what's right for him first because like it or not, the weight of responsibility is yours. He can't pick a home, he relies on you to give him a safe and healthy environment, for his food, etc. That kind of responsibility isn't for everyone.

If you cannot handle his high maintenance, that's okay. It's not a reflection on you. It's simply what you can handle. Everyone has different limits and thresholds. The best thing you can do for both you and the dog is to be honest with yourself and say "you deserve and need more than what I am capable." There isn't any shame in that.

Find him as close to a forever home as possible and know that you tried your damndest.

I am saying this in as nice a way as possible, but as a multiple pet owner, including a needy and somewhat annoying dog: If you and your dad have both hit this dog, you NEED to rehome him. Preferably soon. Animals don’t understand cause and effect very well, and they especially don’t understand why they are being hurt when humans hurt them. If you and your father have both gotten angry enough with the dog to hit him, I don’t think that dog is in a safe or healthy environment. Hurting an animal once is one thing, but if it has happened multiple times and you know your dad has a temper, it may very well escalate to something worse. Please, for both the dog’s well-being and your family’s, find a safe, loving, and experienced home for that dog as soon as possible, because right now, yours isn’t it. Especially if you’ve never owned a dog for longer than a span of weeks before having this dog and are struggling to meet his needs. Huskies are not first-time dogs.

For some reason, the first time I read this, I didn't notice the part you wrote where your dad smacked the crap out of the dog. I saw the other part but thought it was a one-time thing a long time ago that you regretted which would never happen again. But now that I noticed that other part thanks to this comment, I concur with Malachite.

I think you're right in your determination to prevent it from escalating. I think it's admirable that you want to prevent that from happening and want to get the dog to a safe place. I think it's a good instinct, and I would act on it, especially since there seems to be a good alternative available. I know it sucks, but I think I would do it.

If you are unable to care for the dog for any reason or are finding yourself becoming detached due to stress, give him to someone who will be better suited to accommodate his needs.

Dogs aren't for everyone. Huskies even more so. Huskies are an incredibly high maintenance breed with lots and lots of energy that needs releasing throughout the day. They have a very strong pack instinct and often do not come well with being left alone. They are a very poor choice for beginners, in my opinion; my parents keep a small pack of them and work them throughout the day, and they still have bounds of energy left over in the evening.

Please do not get another dog if you choose to re-home this one. Take a step back, and if you truly desire a pet, restrict yourself to cats until you are truly sure you are ready to take care of a dog.

It's a hasty response since I'm travelling, so I hope I'm not coming across as rude. All the best for you and your dog.

edit: the fact that this dog has been smacked further reinforces my opinion. Fear of consequence is NOT a viable way to train a dog. The only thing he will learn this way is how to be scared of you and your family. Punishment transcends into fear, and fear transcends into aggression, and will potentially make him incredibly difficult to re-home in the future. Please do what is best for him and relocate him.

I concur with the others--from the sound of it, it is better that you do find a home that can better care for him. If you want to get another dog later, wait until the home life is more stable, preferably after you have moved out of your parents' home too, and like they say, after you do lots of research.

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On another note, something you said in the OP confused me. You say you have had the dog for a year.

But in the next paragraph, after saying you wanted to prove you could take care of and keep the dog for more than three weeks, you say it's been less than a week.

Less than a week since what? If it's to prove that thing, a year has already proved that? But then why did it even get said...? O_O

I can see how this is confusing; my dad was taking care of Thor for the most part. I took him off the runner for walks every now and then, and played with him to make sure he was okay and ya know, to see him. But whenever we took him off to run around and get exercise, he picked fights with the other dogs. Soon enough, he was living almost all of his life on the runner and that was not okay. My dad talked about getting rid of him and finding a new home, and I wanted to keep him. But it is proofing to be easier said than done. And they won't help because he is my dog now, even when I need advice from them seeing as how they have owned dogs for way longer than I have. Now, I am trying to teach him and train him to be obedient. I am really trying, things I find online are just going to begin as "How to train your dog! The following steps will help you train your dog easily and efficiently!" but soon turn out to be a 50$ book on it all. And I don't have the money for that... Not yet anyway. So YouTube videos are what I am sticking to for now.

Well, a good place to start doing research, would be the websites for national kennel clubs--they have information on all the breeds they recognize as being eligible for showing int heir shows, which is a ton of them, really, and they generally provide a host of information on needs specific to each of those breeds. Husky should definitely be one of them.

I still think, from all the things you have mentioned, that the other family, if you think they can give him the great amount of attention he needs, would be the better choice, especially since, as you mentioned, in this house the dog has been struck. Even if it has not been to the point of inflicting physical harm, it can cause all kinds of emotional damage to a dog to be hit like that--iheck, just being shouted at all the time for every little misbehavior can do that.