I have very little family my dad is the only family I have really. We can't afford to have decorations, or celebrate Christmas in any serious manner. It's just how it is for us. I've also had a lot of people die around me every single year around December and January; and my former abusers birthday is today, which is hard to think about.
Due to all of this, Christmas is difficult for me. I can't really look at peoples photos of their decorations, their presents, their family, without it making me feel like something is missing from my own life. Depression is a difficult thing to deal with but it's even harder around this time of year for those of us who either can't or don't want to celebrate the holidays because of bad memories and financial issues.
Straight up? Christmas doesn't make me happy. It doesn't hold any happy meanings or memories for me. I have to avoid social media and stores to not upset myself.
It's just another day for me most years.
But, I'm here to say to everyone like me, who is in a similar situation, that you are cared about and I understand.
It's okay to not be happy. Just because everyone around you is 'spreading cheer' and decorating, doesn't mean you're 'a grinch' for being unhappy, for being hurt, sad, lonely. It's okay. You don't have to force yourself to meet the standards that often come with this month and the Holidays.
Even if you have bunches of family who decorate and buy gifts, that doesn't mean you have to see them, be happy around them You don't have to be nice to them or forgive them just because it's the holidays. As someone who lived in an abusive family for years, I can say that you being unhappy and sad and wishing you were somewhere else is not selfish and you're not wrong.
I love you, and I know we will both get through this month, and next month it'll be a new year. I hope 2019 treats you better than 2018 did, but regardless, I'm here for you.
You are not a buzz kill, a downer. You are allowed to be unhappy in this season of...sometimes forced happiness and unwanted familial contact.
Due to all of this, Christmas is difficult for me. I can't really look at peoples photos of their decorations, their presents, their family, without it making me feel like something is missing from my own life. Depression is a difficult thing to deal with but it's even harder around this time of year for those of us who either can't or don't want to celebrate the holidays because of bad memories and financial issues.
Straight up? Christmas doesn't make me happy. It doesn't hold any happy meanings or memories for me. I have to avoid social media and stores to not upset myself.
It's just another day for me most years.
But, I'm here to say to everyone like me, who is in a similar situation, that you are cared about and I understand.
It's okay to not be happy. Just because everyone around you is 'spreading cheer' and decorating, doesn't mean you're 'a grinch' for being unhappy, for being hurt, sad, lonely. It's okay. You don't have to force yourself to meet the standards that often come with this month and the Holidays.
Even if you have bunches of family who decorate and buy gifts, that doesn't mean you have to see them, be happy around them You don't have to be nice to them or forgive them just because it's the holidays. As someone who lived in an abusive family for years, I can say that you being unhappy and sad and wishing you were somewhere else is not selfish and you're not wrong.
I love you, and I know we will both get through this month, and next month it'll be a new year. I hope 2019 treats you better than 2018 did, but regardless, I'm here for you.
You are not a buzz kill, a downer. You are allowed to be unhappy in this season of...sometimes forced happiness and unwanted familial contact.
Thank you for this topic. 
It's important to validate that Christmas, and the winter holidays in general, aren't happy for everyone. Many people have legitimate reasons to struggle with this and it's okay! I'm really grateful that you posted this and I hope it helps everyone else as well.
It's important to validate that Christmas, and the winter holidays in general, aren't happy for everyone. Many people have legitimate reasons to struggle with this and it's okay! I'm really grateful that you posted this and I hope it helps everyone else as well.
Damnationfromafar thanks for posting this. It's hard to appear happy and joyous. In front of people you see once a year. When inside you're depressed and sad. Another thing you mentioned was totally accurate. I've gone to so many funerals between Christmas and New years. Anyways it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I can get along with my family for the most part, but it is indeed less stressful to not be around them for various reasons. And Christmas does always bring some bad memories to hover in the back of my mind. Fortunately, it's not stuff my brain has ever really processed emotionally, so it's mostly just this awareness of "well, that's not supposed to happen" and "this seems like evidence that there's something broken in me." I'm personally still able to appreciate that decorations are pretty and silly clothes are fun and some "Christmas" music is actually pretty neat.
So echoing the appreciation for acknowledging and validating that Christmas just isn't good for some folks.
So echoing the appreciation for acknowledging and validating that Christmas just isn't good for some folks.
I wish all of you some peace this week.
Honestly right now I feel like the universe is laughing at me. One good thing happens and immediately another bad thing happens, end up feeling like the universe is just cackling at me even harder; but I have to be grateful. I am grateful. But I also have cried everyday this week and today is going much the same in terms of that...
Honestly right now I feel like the universe is laughing at me. One good thing happens and immediately another bad thing happens, end up feeling like the universe is just cackling at me even harder; but I have to be grateful. I am grateful. But I also have cried everyday this week and today is going much the same in terms of that...
Hope Christmas wasn't too stressful for you all this year, I know this time of year isn't the happiest for everyone 
Thank you for bringing up the issue of unhappiness during such a normally happy time for us all. I mean just yesterday I was in a depressed state and had a mental fricking breakdown but didnt talk nor connect to anyone for help even through I was looking at MIND a good charitys website for help and well I dont know if things will either get better for me this season mentally or worse. I do not know but I will try and not let myself feel like garbage mentally or let depression consume me mentally.
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