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Forums » Smalltalk » I.. got blocked....

I'm kinda stunned...

and I mean... I wanna know what I did that upset someone enough to block me.

I want to say i'm sorry because I never intended to hurt or upset anyone.

And the big kicker is that my reply was in support of them and offering to listen if they needed help. I must have done something previously... I wish I knew what.

I'm upset, but i'm also feeling awful because to block someone, that means you've really messed up.
Like.. majorly messed up.
People don't just block arbitrarily.

I'm gonna go to bed now but... whoever that person is, you probably won't see this but.. i'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you in any way, to make you uncomfortable or to make you feel invalidated. I wish we could have talked it over, that I could have made you feel better.
I'm sorry that I failed.

To all of you, i'm sorry.
nightmqre

Unfortunately, the person who blocked you won't see this.

I understand that getting blocked isn't an nice feeling- far from it. But (as mean as it sounds) these things happen and you need to move on. It was their choice to block you. You may have done something wrong, or you may have not.

If they were having issues, then they could've blocked you for any reason. When in dark situations, people do unintentional or rash things. These can be for valid reasons, stupid reasons or no reason at all. At the end of the day, they denied your help, so it may be their loss. There's nothing you can do to change it, so it's wise to just... ignore it, almost.

Like I said, it's not a nice feeling, and you can be upset about it. No one likes to be ignored or rejected. You can be upset as much as you want, but that isn't going to help you move forward.

I apologise if I've come off as cold or mean, but I'm not the best with comfort.
Purple_monkfish Topic Starter

but why can I see their threads?
It's bizarre.

The thing I was replying to was their thread here, but trying to post it told me "this user has blocked you" so they must have blocked me for something prior. And I wish I knew what so I wouldn't do it again.

but i'm really really good at screwing so it's probably just me and my toxic state again.

I dunno. It was just a nice icing to add to an already awful cake that's been baking all month and sort of... culminated today with a big wad of multiple screwups.

I just keep breaking things, keep messing up, keep doing things wrong and i'm tired of it. I'm so tired of it.
Oh my dear friend. Ive found that, in my experiance at least, blocking is treated in diffrent ways.

I can say that you have been a great partner to me and have been patient and understanding. And Im so grateful to you.

I know how it,feels to feel like you just screw,everything up. I know,thst feeling and it sucks. You are not toxic. You are beautiful, your characters are beautiful, your writing is beautiful.

But back to the blocking issue. How old was your blocker? Unfortunately, a trend Ive noticed,in teens (my age group) is that they block very liberally. Maybe they were losing intrest,and didnt know,how to,say so. Maybe they were embarressed by themselves and felt like they just couldnt talk to you anymore.

It doesnt make it,ok. Of,course it doesnt.

But you shouldnt be so harsh to yourself. You,are,beautiful.
Sanne Moderator

StaticNightmares wrote:
Unfortunately, the person who blocked you won't see this.

I'm not sure what makes you think this? Blocking someone only prevents them from interacting with you in the current setup, it doesn't hide your posts from the user.

@Monk: It really sucks when people block you, especially when you thought you were doing something nice. You're definitely allowed to feel upset by this because it just isn't a fun thing to have happen.

Maybe it helps to know that the reason for blocking someone doesn't have to be about you and what you said. I've blocked people before because their RP prompts in the Find RP tool kept clogging my search results when I wasn't interested in playing with them. Blocking them prevented their prompts from showing up. I never blocked them so they couldn't contact me, I just wanted to keep the RP prompts more relevant to what I was looking for.

I've also had people block an anon character of mine without knowing it was me, but it still ends up making me unable to contact them as myself. So if you have anon characters, consider this might be a possibility too.

At the end of the day, try to look at blocks as boundaries people set to practice self-care, not to punish others. Blocking you is more about that person than about you, it's not a reflection on you as a person.
Purple_monkfish wrote:
People don't just block arbitrarily.

Huge misconception!! They do. Lots of people will block over the tiniest things.

But, hey, don't worry about. Really, really. People block to make their online experience more comfortable. It rarely has to do with you specifically or who you are as a person. I've been blocked just for shipping certain things within a fandom!! It's not something that reflects me as a person, but people who block me for that really don't want anything to do with that one ship.

It might feel like it, but at the end of the day, being blocked isn't about you. It's about the other person shaping their own online experience. The best you can do is remember that and move on.
Purple_monkfish Topic Starter

thing is, I can't even recall interacting with them outside the forums and even then, I have no recollection of actively talking to them prior to this.

I have to assume something I replied to or expressed in a forum post rubbed them the wrong way.

I wonder who else has blocked me.

It sucks because no matter how hard I try to be good and kind and decent it's like this poison just seeps out of me. Something deep inside me is just toxic and it ruins everything for me. It's why i've alienated myself from so many groups and communities, why i've lost so many friends. I'm just a horrible person. I wish that wasn't so but it is. I hate myself, is it really any wonder so many others do too?

still, I never meant to hurt or annoy anyone. I'm just really good at being obnoxious.

I should just.. not reply to things. Ever. I only seem to make things worse. So i'm stopping now. I'm just.. i'm stopping. No more forums for me.
Completely withdrawing won't fix anything. Yes, asking if there's a behavior you exhibit that leads to multiple people blocking you is fine, and trying to fix it is not necessarily a bad thing, but automatically assuming that you are poison is not healthy.

Plus, as people have pointed out, them blocking you could in all likelihood, have nothing at all to do with you.
Sanne wrote:
StaticNightmares wrote:
Unfortunately, the person who blocked you won't see this.
Maybe it helps to know that the reason for blocking someone doesn't have to be about you and what you said. I've blocked people before because their RP prompts in the Find RP tool kept clogging my search results when I wasn't interested in playing with them. Blocking them prevented their prompts from showing up. I never blocked them so they couldn't contact me, I just wanted to keep the RP prompts more relevant to what I was looking for.
You could just click the X next to the search results you know you won't be interested in? Does that not work as intended for you?

Blocking just seems a little extreme to me when the goal is only exclude some search results.

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