Forums » RP Discussion » The difference between love and romance

I'm working on something like an always/sometimes/never chart and got the idea to separate love and romance. Basically, I enjoy love but I don't really enjoy romance thanks to all of the traditions surrounding it. I don't want people approaching me thinking I enjoy concepts like love at first sight and awkward dinner dates with someone I barely know.

Since I'm fully aware that people have different ideas of what these things mean (and because I remember a thread like this but couldn't seem to find it) what are the differences between love and romance in your mind? How would you define them in a chart?

In terms of seeing them on an always/never chart or in RP discussion, they can be used interchangeably for me. I don't think of a difference.

But in the same way "combat" or "supernatural" may not mean the same thing for every player, I don't assume romance does either. I find that most players aren't very interested in love-at-first sight and other similar cliches.

I think if you want to avoid the cliches, that's just something you need to explain either in the chart or with who you RP.

You could specify that you're against stereotypical romance. That might be more clear?

I consider "love" a pretty broad term. Sure, you love a romantic partner. But it's also common to love family and friends. And it's possible to love someone as a partner without having any interest in the commonly recognized displays of affection, just as it's possible to enjoy typically romantically-coded behaviors when the love is actually platonic.

I tend to operate with those terms separated.

Love: An organism that desires the safety of another who they view affectionately.
Romance: An attraction from one organism to another with the intention of creating a bond that will produce something more. (Ex; Children, emotional support, more frequent companionship, a feeling of power, etc.)

And under those definitions, I never guarantee romance. Love is bound to happen as characters bond, but romance to me implies a wanting from within a character for another. Which I can't set up without some significant planning or real time to let the characters get to know each other and click. If the wanting is forced, then I remove it from the definition of romance, and it becomes an obsession, which is also fun to play, but that isn't always what people are looking for (although it does seem like there are a fair bit of players I've partnered with who do want that.)