Forums » RP Discussion » Opinion & proofreading info?

Hi!

I just spent a couple of nights fixing up Fleur's profile and wanted to know if someone's interested in giving their opinion. She has a very large list of information on the "Detailed Info" page. Does all of it make sense? Did I miss something vital that you believe should be on this list? Am I consistent with the information?

I'm also pretty sure I made a couple of typos in this thing. It would be an enormous help to have them pointed out so I can fix them.

Are there suggestions on how to make her more 'alive' and interesting? I think I covered quite a few bases here, but I'm sure someone might have an enriching suggestion about her too.

Thanks!

This profile is fantastic. I love the concept and haven't seen something like it before. All of Fleurette's personality points and features seem to fit very well with the concept of a bee. All of the information appears consistent and makes sense. So far she seems very 'alive' and it would be hard to judge past that unless I saw a RP sample.
I scanned through it a couple of times without finding any typos but I am not a very picky reader.

Awesome work!