I've been in a crappy mindset for a while now. I have lashed out inappropriately and ruined a relationship that was already rocky, and now have no leverage or right to even say sorry to this person.
How do you guys 1) Avoid conflict and 2) keep your morale up? Thanks.
P.s.,
In the off chance you're reading this, I really am sorry.
How do you guys 1) Avoid conflict and 2) keep your morale up? Thanks.
P.s.,
In the off chance you're reading this, I really am sorry.
kayzorch wrote:
I've been in a crappy mindset for a while now. I have lashed out inappropriately and ruined a relationship that was already rocky, and now have no leverage or right to even say sorry to this person.
How do you guys 1) Avoid conflict and 2) keep your morale up? Thanks.
P.s.,
In the off chance you're reading this, I really am sorry.
How do you guys 1) Avoid conflict and 2) keep your morale up? Thanks.
P.s.,
In the off chance you're reading this, I really am sorry.
First let me start by saying I am sorry to hear, but to error is proof we are mortal. Mistakes happen from time to time and in my case when it comes to lifting my spirits, I like to listen to a select few songs I have that calm me down and level me out. Avoiding Conflict is not always possible, but I think the best thing to do is before you say something, type it out, look at it and see if it might seem to harsh or could be seen as an insult and then retype it until you feel it comes of just how you want, and is crystal clear enough to make a point. Another thing to do is maybe take a step away from the computer (or phone) for a few minutes to level out and make sure that you are in a calm and level mindset before trying to message someone/answer a question.
Most of keep in mind, we all make mistakes and I do hope that things work out for you!
Oh, no! I'm so sorry!
As Arkavious said, we are all mortal, which means error will happen. You're only human. It will happen. And boy, does it feel like complete and utter crap when it does. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
As a very passive person who is terrified of conflict, I'm afraid I won't be too much help on how to avoid it. But I will say that apologies, even if you feel like you don't have the right, truly can do wonders to a relationship. Honestly, I would say to wait a few days, let yourself cool down and give them a chance to as well. If you're still feeling awful, let them know that you feel horrible for what you did. It will show that you valued what you had with them originally. Hopefully they're understanding, and will at least allow the two of you to part ways in better moods, should that be the case. If they don't reply, at least it's out there.
That's just my two cents, though. I'm not saying you must do it if you don't feel comfortable.
As for keeping morale up? Listen to music. Do things that make you happy, or make you feel calm and safe.
I hope things get better for you! And please, if you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know. I'm always willing to lend an ear!
As Arkavious said, we are all mortal, which means error will happen. You're only human. It will happen. And boy, does it feel like complete and utter crap when it does. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
As a very passive person who is terrified of conflict, I'm afraid I won't be too much help on how to avoid it. But I will say that apologies, even if you feel like you don't have the right, truly can do wonders to a relationship. Honestly, I would say to wait a few days, let yourself cool down and give them a chance to as well. If you're still feeling awful, let them know that you feel horrible for what you did. It will show that you valued what you had with them originally. Hopefully they're understanding, and will at least allow the two of you to part ways in better moods, should that be the case. If they don't reply, at least it's out there.
That's just my two cents, though. I'm not saying you must do it if you don't feel comfortable.
As for keeping morale up? Listen to music. Do things that make you happy, or make you feel calm and safe.
I hope things get better for you! And please, if you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know. I'm always willing to lend an ear!
Arkavious wrote:
First let me start by saying I am sorry to hear, but to error is proof we are mortal. Mistakes happen from time to time and in my case when it comes to lifting my spirits, I like to listen to a select few songs I have that calm me down and level me out. Avoiding Conflict is not always possible, but I think the best thing to do is before you say something, type it out, look at it and see if it might seem to harsh or could be seen as an insult and then retype it until you feel it comes of just how you want, and is crystal clear enough to make a point. Another thing to do is maybe take a step away from the computer (or phone) for a few minutes to level out and make sure that you are in a calm and level mindset before trying to message someone/answer a question.
Most of keep in mind, we all make mistakes and I do hope that things work out for you!
Most of keep in mind, we all make mistakes and I do hope that things work out for you!
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I should have kept this in mind yesterday instead of continuing to flap my proverbeal gums... >~<
Skrifa wrote:
Oh, no! I'm so sorry!
As Arkavious said, we are all mortal, which means error will happen. You're only human. It will happen. And boy, does it feel like complete and utter crap when it does. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
As a very passive person who is terrified of conflict, I'm afraid I won't be too much help on how to avoid it. But I will say that apologies, even if you feel like you don't have the right, truly can do wonders to a relationship. Honestly, I would say to wait a few days, let yourself cool down and give them a chance to as well. If you're still feeling awful, let them know that you feel horrible for what you did. It will show that you valued what you had with them originally. Hopefully they're understanding, and will at least allow the two of you to part ways in better moods, should that be the case. If they don't reply, at least it's out there.
That's just my two cents, though. I'm not saying you must do it if you don't feel comfortable.
As for keeping morale up? Listen to music. Do things that make you happy, or make you feel calm and safe.
I hope things get better for you! And please, if you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know. I'm always willing to lend an ear!
As Arkavious said, we are all mortal, which means error will happen. You're only human. It will happen. And boy, does it feel like complete and utter crap when it does. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
As a very passive person who is terrified of conflict, I'm afraid I won't be too much help on how to avoid it. But I will say that apologies, even if you feel like you don't have the right, truly can do wonders to a relationship. Honestly, I would say to wait a few days, let yourself cool down and give them a chance to as well. If you're still feeling awful, let them know that you feel horrible for what you did. It will show that you valued what you had with them originally. Hopefully they're understanding, and will at least allow the two of you to part ways in better moods, should that be the case. If they don't reply, at least it's out there.
That's just my two cents, though. I'm not saying you must do it if you don't feel comfortable.
As for keeping morale up? Listen to music. Do things that make you happy, or make you feel calm and safe.
I hope things get better for you! And please, if you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know. I'm always willing to lend an ear!
Thank you
I hope that maybe someday I can apologize properly, but they currently don't want to hear from me in any capacity >_<
I'm kind of in Skrifa's boat here--I hate conflict.
And yet, paradoxically, I am drawn to debates which can very easily lead to conflict, it's frustrating, and drains me. Honestly their advice is the best I would be able to offer. I'm not always the best at withdrawing, but when I can it usually tends to work out better than trying to continue and face it immediately, give them and yourself time to cool down and talk more rationally when emotions aren't running high, because it's a lot harder for a human on an emotional high or low to think calmly and rationally.
And yet, paradoxically, I am drawn to debates which can very easily lead to conflict, it's frustrating, and drains me. Honestly their advice is the best I would be able to offer. I'm not always the best at withdrawing, but when I can it usually tends to work out better than trying to continue and face it immediately, give them and yourself time to cool down and talk more rationally when emotions aren't running high, because it's a lot harder for a human on an emotional high or low to think calmly and rationally.
kayzorch wrote:
Skrifa wrote:
Oh, no! I'm so sorry!
As Arkavious said, we are all mortal, which means error will happen. You're only human. It will happen. And boy, does it feel like complete and utter crap when it does. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
As a very passive person who is terrified of conflict, I'm afraid I won't be too much help on how to avoid it. But I will say that apologies, even if you feel like you don't have the right, truly can do wonders to a relationship. Honestly, I would say to wait a few days, let yourself cool down and give them a chance to as well. If you're still feeling awful, let them know that you feel horrible for what you did. It will show that you valued what you had with them originally. Hopefully they're understanding, and will at least allow the two of you to part ways in better moods, should that be the case. If they don't reply, at least it's out there.
That's just my two cents, though. I'm not saying you must do it if you don't feel comfortable.
As for keeping morale up? Listen to music. Do things that make you happy, or make you feel calm and safe.
I hope things get better for you! And please, if you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know. I'm always willing to lend an ear!
As Arkavious said, we are all mortal, which means error will happen. You're only human. It will happen. And boy, does it feel like complete and utter crap when it does. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
As a very passive person who is terrified of conflict, I'm afraid I won't be too much help on how to avoid it. But I will say that apologies, even if you feel like you don't have the right, truly can do wonders to a relationship. Honestly, I would say to wait a few days, let yourself cool down and give them a chance to as well. If you're still feeling awful, let them know that you feel horrible for what you did. It will show that you valued what you had with them originally. Hopefully they're understanding, and will at least allow the two of you to part ways in better moods, should that be the case. If they don't reply, at least it's out there.
That's just my two cents, though. I'm not saying you must do it if you don't feel comfortable.
As for keeping morale up? Listen to music. Do things that make you happy, or make you feel calm and safe.
I hope things get better for you! And please, if you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know. I'm always willing to lend an ear!
Thank you
I hope that maybe someday I can apologize properly, but they currently don't want to hear from me in any capacity >_<It's my genuine pleasure.
Subtleknifewielder wrote:
I'm kind of in Skrifa's boat here--I hate conflict.
And yet, paradoxically, I am drawn to debates which can very easily lead to conflict, it's frustrating, and drains me. Honestly their advice is the best I would be able to offer. I'm not always the best at withdrawing, but when I can it usually tends to work out better than trying to continue and face it immediately, give them and yourself time to cool down and talk more rationally when emotions aren't running high, because it's a lot harder for a human on an emotional high or low to think calmly and rationally.
And yet, paradoxically, I am drawn to debates which can very easily lead to conflict, it's frustrating, and drains me. Honestly their advice is the best I would be able to offer. I'm not always the best at withdrawing, but when I can it usually tends to work out better than trying to continue and face it immediately, give them and yourself time to cool down and talk more rationally when emotions aren't running high, because it's a lot harder for a human on an emotional high or low to think calmly and rationally.
Yeah... emotions are dumb. I get their purpose, but mine just seem to get in the way and muck things up. I wish I didn't have any...
But if you didn't have them you would be unable to express empathy at all! You'd be like Data from Star Trek TNG, wondering what it's like to be human.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
Subtleknifewielder wrote:
But if you didn't have them you would be unable to express empathy at all! You'd be like Data from Star Trek TNG, wondering what it's like to be human.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
110% love the Data reference. He was my favorite character.
But on the topic of emotions, it's another thing that makes us human. And some of us feel more strongly than others, and that's okay! I promise. Everyone messes up sometimes. Don't beat yourself down.
I'm sure there is a way to keep them from running super high. Or rather, when you feel yourself getting upset, step away quickly, do something until you calm down, and then start over.
Skrifa wrote:
Subtleknifewielder wrote:
But if you didn't have them you would be unable to express empathy at all! You'd be like Data from Star Trek TNG, wondering what it's like to be human.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
110% love the Data reference. He was my favorite character.
But on the topic of emotions, it's another thing that makes us human. And some of us feel more strongly than others, and that's okay! I promise. Everyone messes up sometimes. Don't beat yourself down.
I'm sure there is a way to keep them from running super high. Or rather, when you feel yourself getting upset, step away quickly, do something until you calm down, and then start over.
Hey, Data got along pretty well as a soulless automaton.
What hurts is I felt myself flying off the handle and still pressed on. >_< The red flags were there, yet I went on and only realized the mistake once it was made.
kayzorch wrote:
Skrifa wrote:
Subtleknifewielder wrote:
But if you didn't have them you would be unable to express empathy at all! You'd be like Data from Star Trek TNG, wondering what it's like to be human.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
I think a middle ground is better, maybe mute them so you don't feel them as intensely.
110% love the Data reference. He was my favorite character.
But on the topic of emotions, it's another thing that makes us human. And some of us feel more strongly than others, and that's okay! I promise. Everyone messes up sometimes. Don't beat yourself down.
I'm sure there is a way to keep them from running super high. Or rather, when you feel yourself getting upset, step away quickly, do something until you calm down, and then start over.
Hey, Data got along pretty well as a soulless automaton.
What hurts is I felt myself flying off the handle and still pressed on. >_< The red flags were there, yet I went on and only realized the mistake once it was made.
Ouch. That's always the worst. I'm so sorry that happened!
That is true, he did, but...alas, he never quite fit in...even when he got his pet cat.
And yeah, I 100% know what you mean, I have been there myself at times, flying off the handle and pressing on despite knowing I should pull back.
And yeah, I 100% know what you mean, I have been there myself at times, flying off the handle and pressing on despite knowing I should pull back.
Subtleknifewielder wrote:
That is true, he did, but...alas, he never quite fit in...even when he got his pet cat.
And yeah, I 100% know what you mean, I have been there myself at times, flying off the handle and pressing on despite knowing I should pull back.
And yeah, I 100% know what you mean, I have been there myself at times, flying off the handle and pressing on despite knowing I should pull back.
Skrifa wrote:
Ouch. That's always the worst. I'm so sorry that happened!
Yeah... I said my piece and then kept saying things. >_< Not terribly mean things I thought, but my tone was flippant enough to come off as something else.... bluh.
A big part of avoiding conflict is not assuming you know how the other person feels about a situation, even if they handle it differently then you normally would. It's also important to understand that when rps go wrong, it doesn't mean there's a problem with your friendship with the other person.
When we start thinking we know what the other person is thinking, it can come off wrong, and we can accidentally make accusations that will hurt the other party and make them feel you think the worse of them.
As far as keeping moral up, I focus on what I enjoy, I don't force myself to do or RP things I can't keep up with or lost interest in, and I just look fondly on the ones I liked the most and use them for inspiration on new stuff. Oh, and it's always fun to jump on any whim I have rpwize even if it sounds dumb, or is embarrassing.
That said, it's fine dude, I didn't say you couldn't message me. You're the one who said that, haha
When we start thinking we know what the other person is thinking, it can come off wrong, and we can accidentally make accusations that will hurt the other party and make them feel you think the worse of them.
As far as keeping moral up, I focus on what I enjoy, I don't force myself to do or RP things I can't keep up with or lost interest in, and I just look fondly on the ones I liked the most and use them for inspiration on new stuff. Oh, and it's always fun to jump on any whim I have rpwize even if it sounds dumb, or is embarrassing.
That said, it's fine dude, I didn't say you couldn't message me. You're the one who said that, haha
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