Forums » RP Discussion » upset

I am sick and tired of people dropping out of rp on me..i am done I am deleting this account because i am sick of the way i am being treated on here.Now I don't expect a reply every day or so..but waiting a week or more is hurtful to me..

I'm saddened to know that you're planning on deleting your account Fancie. Believe me part of being a roleplayer is to be patient and somethimes it can be a hard lesson, but that doesn't mean that you should wait a week for a reply if you don't feel like it. Your time is valuable and I suggest that you discuss it with the person that made you wait for a week, still know that life can really turn upside down in a instant an sometimes people disappear without notice...though ghosting can also be the case.

I only suggest you don't let yourself be influenced by your anger. Take a deep breath, talk with a friend, have a relaxing bath or maybe a nap then think about it again. Whatever is your decision you have my support Fancie and if you wish to RP or just chat you know where you can find me. I wish you only the best Fancie.

Your friend 0089.

I know how you feel, the culture of ghosting here is really frustrating and rude. I wish people were more considerate of their partner's feelings in this. The person on the other end IS a person, they deserve to be told if you aren't "feeling" the rp.

It is worth noting sometimes people are just really dang slow because it's not a priority. I've had 2 rps in the past week I thought had died suddenly restart (after genuinely like a month or more of no replies) when a reply has come out of nowhere.

Have you tried to contact the other players and asked them if they're okay and if they're still happy to continue? I think sometimes people just forget or it "isn't a priority" and they need a bit of a kick in the rear.

But it sucks and it's hard not to take it personally. I know I really struggle with it. It leaves me feeling extremely inadequate and shunned.

*hugs* Just want you to know you are NOT ALONE and many of us really struggle with this nonsense.

I hope you find a partner who can bring that joy back.

Go ahead. The account delete option is specifically for that kind of dissatisfaction with the community or for privacy issues.
But, at the same time, think about your partners. Some people do writing for fun - at the same time that means they write as much as they breathe, it also means they don't really got to have a commitment to their partners. After all, this is not a dating site. And for the ones that still enjoy writing, but still deal with it as if were work - like me - be aware of the many variables that might be halting their writing. Maybe they got work to do, practice sports, clean their houses, tend to their pets and their kids, play video games, are in other RP sites or having a massive writing block.

And be aware, one week "or more" is a pretty short period to be waiting for. I know some people that are still religiously waiting for a reply for more than a year.

If you're worried about what your partners think of your writing, go ahead and ask them if there's something up at all. It usually solves the problems.

In the end we are all here for enjoyment, and if you're not enjoying it then like church said there is a way out in just the way you suggested. Real life, however, must come first. If we cannot or do not take care of ourselves first we cannot be capable of taking care of others and I feel that includes replying messages on an rp.

Like it or not writing and the creative process often takes a mindset or a mood for a lot of people and not everyone I have learned can simply look at and read a post and send a reply. This can be in fact to your benefit and viewed as a compliment. Perhaps your writing partners are spending additional thought to make sure they send a post that they feel is worthy of your eyes?

Or maybe your rp partner just went into labor...theres no way of knowing what the problem may be so I would always advise patience. Like church also said....mail them and nicely ask what is wrong and that might solve the problem entirely.

You're not entitled to your roleplay partners constant attention at the cost of their daily lives. Delete if you can't accept the fact that roleplay might not be everyone's first priority.

It's also a good idea to communicate your concerns if you feel like they're taking a long time, rather than just assuming you've been flaked on. They want to know, for sure! If they don't respond, then fine, It's not nice to flake, but generalizing and thinking the worst about everyone based on assumptions is just poor judgement.

Edit: Establishing expectations prior to engaging in roleplay will hopefully leave you with less nasty surprises.

Just as a general thing to everyone, please remember the importance of setting expectations as best as you can, and that it can hurt if expectations set are not met. If expectations become a problem, then it is necessary to renegotiate.

OP gave no indication, so it may be that they and their partners had set expectations for one or more posts a week. I do still favor giving some extra time and/or reaching out, but there may be perfectly valid reason to be upset if it has been more than a week.

I say this as a total flake who sometimes takes months to get back on track.

Is it possibly for someone to leave a site but never delete their account?

Stop being an attention seeker.

I know this is a public form, but no need to attack people no matter what.

No need for attacking this person

Of course. Even if you don't come here for ages, your account will continue to exist. So if you decide that leaving is just a break of indeterminate length, you can always come back.

As I said to you in text and in message, I am BUSY, I am studying foreign languages and cultures, and studying my drivers manual as I am driving soon (hopefully in spring if I am lucky.) I said it in the group chat, I said it in text, and I will say it here.

With the recent death of my pup, Yoshi, and with my constant studying, I only have the time and the mental capacity to focus on ONE RP. I won't be able to do more than this one Group RP we are doing, not until mid spring, only then will I be able to get to full replies of my inbox.

As I said to you before, I did not abandon anything, I am VERY busy IRL, and the replies will come in mid spring.

I would love to rp I sent you a message

whoa bro, relax. she seems to like you enough to leave kudos. don't do this to her

Wow there's some really thoughtless and downright cruel replies here.

I mean jeese... i'm actually shocked and disappointed by this community. Some of you people really need to reassess your empathy skills.

OP isn't a moron, they UNDERSTAND life gets in the way and people may have good reason but when you have like 5 rps all end up ghosted one after the other, the liklihood it's just "life" start to get a bit less believable. ONE partner disappearing without word? Yeah okay, still a bit rude though (I mean come on, it takes like 2 minutes to say "i'm having issues, sorry" doesn't it? You're PARTNERS, be respectful to one another. "nobody owes you their time" fine, but it's generally considered POLITE to tell someone you've committed to doing something with if situations change) but multiple? It starts to make you think it's not them, it's you and that can really mess with your self worth.

People, please, consider other people's feelings and potential mental states before making unhelpful comments. You really could just make things a lot worse with ill considered words. Try try try to consider "is my addition helpful? is it kind?" before posting.

I find in life on the internet it's generally better to be KIND and considerate and sympathise while offering support and useful advice rather than scolding or belittling or devaluing a person's feelings by telling them why they're wrong.
we're all entitled to feel a particular way, our feelings are ALL valid even when they're maybe not entirely rational. Don't deny someone their feelings. If someone is hurt you don't tell them "you shouldn't be hurt because you didn't fall that hard" you say "are you okay?"

And yes op, you can leave a site but not delete the account, you just stop visiting.
Perhaps a short break may help? If you want to chat though, feel free to pm me. I'm usually about and quite happy to just chat or be vented at.

Not that anyone needs my two cents, but if what that one person said is true, they told OP in multiple places they were busy with a lot of personal matters.
If that's the case, I don't think posting on a public forum as a way to guilt an RP partner into picking up the RP again is a good move to take.
It's ok to be upset when a good RP ends, but I don't feel it's worth taking too personally and pushing those around you away over it. Even if it's ghosting we're talking about. I've gotten upset over getting ghosted before, and I've probably ghosted before. It happens, it's pretty normal, but it's just pretend in the end and if I were to let it ruin my whole day, it would be more of a reflection on me then on anyone else.

I apologise if anyone thinks this was out of line for me to say, but I saw that other comment on here and felt maybe it should be said.

Great advice thanks and I am d
oing better now.

Evening, RPRians.

Even though I'm still on "mod-cation", I'm stepping in to put a lock on this thread so the rest of the mod team can get a better look at it, since things grew heated.

In the meanwhile let's go grab a delicious sandwich or a nice cup of tea to relax.

After assessing, this topic will remain locked.

Fancie, I'm glad you're feeling better now.