Forums » Forum Games » The Player Roast!

Yeah! We've all been there, right? You're in the chat room, playing around, and suddenly someone's character comes up and says "HEY. I DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT WHEN I ALMOST DIED" and then suddenly everyone's whipping their charas out and having them be mad at their players.

Well guess what? HERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY VENT YOUR FRUSTRATIONS AT US, CHARRIES. COME ON IT'LL BE FUN.

And if you don't we'll kill your significant others/pets/best friends/important family members.

So vent! Let it ALLL out.

*ahem*

I still haven't actually been used in an RP.

That really ticks me off.

You are a cruel creator, Oaky! Cruel! I do not like you at all!

We'll probably do it anyway

Which is exactly the problem. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE BEEN BROKEN??!!! How do you sleep at night?!

"By the gods, this arm's bloody heavy. Why'd ya create me with this thing, Rynh?! Did'ya think It'd be funny ta create a pirate who can't even bloody well swim?! I ought ta slap ya 'round fer this!"

I swear, if I get hurt by one more car being thrown at me, driving through buildings to kill me, of if you pull another Godzilla out of your rear, not only will this fourth wal be destroyed beyond all recognition, i will burn your house to the ground!

*throws up hands in surrender* But you cant die!
You see this Jason, Im flicking my bic for you..

"What kinda cruel joke is it to give someone the ability to use magic but make it hurt like a mother? Are you sadistic? And what is WITH all the awful people I meet?! You could do better in choosing people I interact with, you know...."

CIRCUMSTANCES ARE FAVORABLE. WELL DONE.

GOSHDANGIT IM TIRED OF BEING THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS PICKED ON! I've never seen Jason get stabbed multiple times, or shot, or have a motorcycle accident that almost kills me! IM FRIGGIN TIRED OF IT ALL! GO PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE! I DONT CARE IF IM YOUR FAVORITE DX

*clears throat* Where do I start? You let me get beat by a girl at my own sport. Then you crashed my beautiful car and broke me in the process. Then I start to heal from my injuries and you beat me up! Finally you gave me a breather only to shoot my girl friend I hate StrangeDisease too..THEN you kidnap me shoot me and shoot me up!

Thomas shakes his head, almost despairingly. "Where do I even begin. Injured more times than I'd care to count, one almost fatally; kidnapped and tortured; left by my first wife, and almost lost my second - twice; and my best friend is a werewolf."

Vas: "Time and time again I have felt the sting of defeat, all due to how you believe good must needs triumph at all times. Know you not that it is the fate of all things to wither and cease to be? What is the POINT in preserving all that exists, when all things must return to the darkness?! Absurd, absurd, ABSUUUURRRRRD!!! The day shall when I reap my well-deserved victory and obliterate EVERYTHING, you wretched pile of filth...and the same may be said of ALL beings who refer to themselves as 'role-players'. But you, the one who calls yourself 'GrandFinale', the one who claims I am but a character born of your paltry mortal mind...YOU SHALL BE FIRST. I WILL TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN CONDEMNING YOU. And your 'role-player' friends shall follow suit with you."

Me:

Vas: "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

I've got a bone to pick with you, Pen. I've gone through relationships like quicksand. The worst part was I never meant to settle down and yet within one year of being here, I've been through THREE.

I'm sick and tired of losing people who are important to me. I thought it was bad enough losing Nathan, but to lose an almost-wife. Ugh. I'm going home. Don't call me unless Bella--no, not even then. My luck you'd probably kill her off in front of me, or something.

*stomps off, flaring his cloak at Pen before teleporting away*

...welp, that went well.

Bunny cocks his head to one side in confusion.
"What is da point of aww diss?"

Kitty pats Bunny's head while slowly shaking his own.

"These people have it worse off than us. Apparently, because of our players."

Bunny is horrified. "What? Dese peopwe awe misewabwe because of da pwayews? Dat's meen!"

Kitty sighs. "I know, Bunny. I know."

"Vhy does Keera get injured every time you use me? Don't do Zat anymore or I vill shove a happy smiley face grenade down your throat. Donka!"

I'm supposed to be a fighting character, but you never let me have any fun! When was the last time you put me in a situation where I broke a real sweat fighting for my life, and I don't mean silly NPC dogs, bats, skeletons or sissy creatures you design so I can easily beat Where is the spice in life? Okay, yes, I do have a wonderful significant other I get to spend quality RP time with, but I desire more. Honestly, I was supposed to be a calm and cool character. YOU GAVE ME ANGER ISSUES! Also, do me a favor. KILL GWEN, that stupid cat is really annoying in RPs. I can't kill off that jealous cat unless you write in the action. And whiskey. I need whiskey to make me happy. Haven't you ever heard of drunken wench Wednesdays? I am missing out on the good life, Mellute. The good life.

PS. I miss my dragon. I want my dragon. Rascal ... *Sniff*

Y'know. I used to have a real arm. And a real eye. And a real heart. Not to mention the half a lung I'm missing because of you. And lemme tell you; the whole "allergic to magic" thing? It sucks. Hard.

I swear, if you'd made me capable of holding grudges, I'd be grudging on you so hard right now. Like, you don't even know.

Looking at some of these other guys...Everybody else is right. I am too damn nice for my own damn good.

...I hate you for that too. Stingy bastard.

I cannot believe you! You began creating my brother and I so we could be kick butt soldiers and be well-created characters. But have you finished me or Drew? NOOOO! You're too busy playing with your other non-anonymous characters to spend any time on us! You haven't even done our backstory OR our big battle! How can we be steampunk rebels without either of those?

"Hey, hey chill! I'll get around to you guys!"

Oh really? REALLY? I doubt that Mr. Im-too-good-for-Calvins.

"You know your brother wouldn't behave like this right?"

DREW ISN'T HERE ANYMORE. RP WITH US OR ELSE.

"Oi Ve..."

I never get to play anymore... Warwick seems to have lost interest in me, instead he uses all these fancy characters with proportionate arm length. Im still playable dammit! So you find Lion men and Dragon people easier to work with? Just because they aren't how you say "Op" when it comes to conflict?

ANY CREATURE THAT BREATHS FIRE IS OP! What on Earth is wrong with you Warwick? my goodness even the dog gets more stories than me... He cant even talk! Are you kidding me bro? I mean really I deserve some time in the spotlight again, you haven't let me play since what? Like 2011? NOT COOL BRO! By the way I hope they nerf you so hard in the next patch, it serves you right for leaving me at home while you noob characters have fun.

Your friend,
Buster

Eli: Odd. We are his second oldest characters to make it here on RPR but we have yet to participate in any stories. Heck, we still don't have any decent concept art for the both of us!

Drake: Yeah, he always seems to chalk it up to "Oh they're still just floating around in the multi-versal temporal-linear dimensional-reality vortex"... Sure... Maybe we are, but he is the one who could bring us out of it if he ever finished our profile page and worked harder at finding suitable RP partners and stories.

Eli: If he doesn't find us a superb RP to be featured in within the next month I'm gonna-

Drake: "We're gonna"...

Eli: Yes, thank you. We're gonna... Hmmmm... What else can we do besides continue breaking the 4th wall?