Exactly like it says, I just posted this to see if anyone out there has chosen to change their first name or is considering it. This might get a bit deep, fam.
Here's the skinny about why I'd like to, albeit shortened and stripped of anything too heavy.
I have never liked my first name. For obvious reasons, I won't be sharing it, but I also don't want to upset anyone who has this name and actually likes it. My reason for disliking it isn't the name itself, but the history and association. The parent who chose it is one who has been absent, negligent and considered by their own siblings (my aunts and uncles) to have failed in their role. My name was chosen to bear some resemblance to theirs, with the first syllables being the same sound and same first three letters. You can probably imagine why, after being "raised" by them, that I'd want to sever that tie.
Mae was the middle name given to me by the other parent, and that's what I've gone by. But then, said parent also suggested to me that maybe it's time I change my first name, to something of my choosing. The option to do that seems so liberating in itself.
So, here I am. I haven't chosen a name yet, though I have one in mind. I'll share it when I'm ready, but until then, I'm still "trying to get used to it." Just in case I like something else.
My questions to you all are:
• Have you changed your name? Do you want to? Why? (If you don't feel comfy sharing, that's fine too!)
• How did you pick your new name? Some people take inspiration from pieces of literature, their favorite shows, games, places like that.
• What were the steps you took to make the paperwork and legal ramifications as smooth as possible? In my state I will have to present my case to a judge but from what I've been told, my reasoning isn't entirely dismissable.
This topic is pretty dear to me, so I'm interested to see your replies.
Here's the skinny about why I'd like to, albeit shortened and stripped of anything too heavy.
I have never liked my first name. For obvious reasons, I won't be sharing it, but I also don't want to upset anyone who has this name and actually likes it. My reason for disliking it isn't the name itself, but the history and association. The parent who chose it is one who has been absent, negligent and considered by their own siblings (my aunts and uncles) to have failed in their role. My name was chosen to bear some resemblance to theirs, with the first syllables being the same sound and same first three letters. You can probably imagine why, after being "raised" by them, that I'd want to sever that tie.
Mae was the middle name given to me by the other parent, and that's what I've gone by. But then, said parent also suggested to me that maybe it's time I change my first name, to something of my choosing. The option to do that seems so liberating in itself.
So, here I am. I haven't chosen a name yet, though I have one in mind. I'll share it when I'm ready, but until then, I'm still "trying to get used to it." Just in case I like something else.
My questions to you all are:
• Have you changed your name? Do you want to? Why? (If you don't feel comfy sharing, that's fine too!)
• How did you pick your new name? Some people take inspiration from pieces of literature, their favorite shows, games, places like that.
• What were the steps you took to make the paperwork and legal ramifications as smooth as possible? In my state I will have to present my case to a judge but from what I've been told, my reasoning isn't entirely dismissable.
This topic is pretty dear to me, so I'm interested to see your replies.
Hi Mae,
First, I totally understand where this comes from. I hate my first name, given by my godfather NOT my parents, and NEVER EVER have used it.
In fact, nobody has ever used it for me, except when visiting my godparents. (I disliked them for this simple reason. Imagine a child trying to understand the concept of her parents trying to please some strangers by using a different name for her.) The fact that most people mispronounce it does not help, and I usually get in a tiff about it.
Obviously, official papers, passport and some credit cards have it listed, but people I work with only know me by my middle name. Business cards, professional-type ID, most contracts, my signature, it's the middle name only.
I have considered changing it many times, but ultimately did not, because of a combination of (a) general laziness (it's hard to change all your paperwork), and (b) I always felt it was part of me, a part I did not like, certainly, but still there. A portion of my personal history who made me into what I am today. Does it make sense? (Also, the need to change my name IRL lessened since I chose my pen name, aka Dorian Moreau.)
There is power in a name, a lot of power, and who knows what inspired your parents at the time and why? But ultimately you should do what feels right to you. Good luck!
First, I totally understand where this comes from. I hate my first name, given by my godfather NOT my parents, and NEVER EVER have used it.
In fact, nobody has ever used it for me, except when visiting my godparents. (I disliked them for this simple reason. Imagine a child trying to understand the concept of her parents trying to please some strangers by using a different name for her.) The fact that most people mispronounce it does not help, and I usually get in a tiff about it.
Obviously, official papers, passport and some credit cards have it listed, but people I work with only know me by my middle name. Business cards, professional-type ID, most contracts, my signature, it's the middle name only.
I have considered changing it many times, but ultimately did not, because of a combination of (a) general laziness (it's hard to change all your paperwork), and (b) I always felt it was part of me, a part I did not like, certainly, but still there. A portion of my personal history who made me into what I am today. Does it make sense? (Also, the need to change my name IRL lessened since I chose my pen name, aka Dorian Moreau.)
There is power in a name, a lot of power, and who knows what inspired your parents at the time and why? But ultimately you should do what feels right to you. Good luck!
DorianM wrote:
Hi Mae,
First, I totally understand where this comes from. I hate my first name, given by my godfather NOT my parents, and NEVER EVER have used it.
In fact, nobody has ever used it for me, except when visiting my godparents. (I disliked them for this simple reason. Imagine a child trying to understand the concept of her parents trying to please some strangers by using a different name for her.) The fact that most people mispronounce it does not help, and I usually get in a tiff about it.
First, I totally understand where this comes from. I hate my first name, given by my godfather NOT my parents, and NEVER EVER have used it.
In fact, nobody has ever used it for me, except when visiting my godparents. (I disliked them for this simple reason. Imagine a child trying to understand the concept of her parents trying to please some strangers by using a different name for her.) The fact that most people mispronounce it does not help, and I usually get in a tiff about it.
This is probably one of the quickest ways for me not to become friends with someone. If you're going to call me by the name I was given, repeatedly, purposefully, odds are I'll come to dislike you. To clarify: only if you know the reasons why I don't like said name. Sometimes people have slipped up, but I don't demonize them for it because it's pretty apparent it was just that. A slip up. It's smooth sailing from there. My name has never been mispronounced before but ohhh man, the ways it's been sounded out for the purpose of irritating me.
DorianM wrote:
Obviously, official papers, passport and some credit cards have it listed, but people I work with only know me by my middle name. Business cards, professional-type ID, most contracts, my signature, it's the middle name only.
I have considered changing it many times, but ultimately did not, because of a combination of (a) general laziness (it's hard to change all your paperwork), and (b) I always felt it was part of me, a part I did not like, certainly, but still there. A portion of my personal history who made me into what I am today. Does it make sense? (Also, the need to change my name IRL lessened since I chose my pen name, aka Dorian Moreau.)
I have considered changing it many times, but ultimately did not, because of a combination of (a) general laziness (it's hard to change all your paperwork), and (b) I always felt it was part of me, a part I did not like, certainly, but still there. A portion of my personal history who made me into what I am today. Does it make sense? (Also, the need to change my name IRL lessened since I chose my pen name, aka Dorian Moreau.)
This is where my hesitation comes in. When I go to government buildings or any place that requires paperwork, it's not the crowds or people I'm worried about. It's the documents and process itself. Like, do I have everything I need? Can I get this all in one trip? Did I miss something? This is one of the reasons I hate traveling alone. I feel like I don't account for everything and I'd like someone there to keep me in check.
It's a long and tedious process for good reason. There's a good handful out there of individuals looking to change their name for sketchy reasons and I don't blame the ones holding up the hoops for us to jump through. Not to mention, the fees, oof. But it also makes me so, so nervous.
As for keeping part of yourself, even a part you didn't like... honestly, I respect that. There are scars and marks I've kept because they're part of me, too. They remind me of what I've lived through. This, I see as breaking off some kind of chain. The last few links keeping me shackled to a person I haven't seen in six years.
DorianM wrote:
There is power in a name, a lot of power, and who knows what inspired your parents at the time and why? But ultimately you should do what feels right to you. Good luck!
There is so much power in a name. All the more reason I feel like I owe it to myself to do this. The parent who gave me this name honestly just wanted to name me after themselves, but with an obvious twist. I've accomplished milestones in my life without them and I get to decide where it goes from here on out. Thank you so much for your input, Dorian. I'm actually happy to know someone else has been in my shoes. (Very nice pen name, by the way. It has such elegant, classy vibes♥)
I too am not really a huge fan of my name, to be completely honest my parents (word I can't say cause mods exist)-ed me over
meh name is Gunnar I don't really have an issue saying it on here, hunt me down if you'd like lol
its pronounced Gun-ar, but pretty much always pronounce it Gunner
aaaaaaaaaaaaand beeeeeeeeeeing a white booooy named Gunnar caused me to the butt of EVERY school shooting joke EVER. So I can side with you on having a not fun name
... But I don't think I would want to change it, because its kinda tied to who I am. I may not know the bad meaning behind your name, so I can't and don't fully understand why you wanna change it
point of the matter is I can understand your pain, but I don't really suggest changing it (but then again I dont know the baddness about it and it might be pretty bad sooooo I dont knooooow. sorry)
meh name is Gunnar I don't really have an issue saying it on here, hunt me down if you'd like lol
its pronounced Gun-ar, but pretty much always pronounce it Gunner
aaaaaaaaaaaaand beeeeeeeeeeing a white booooy named Gunnar caused me to the butt of EVERY school shooting joke EVER. So I can side with you on having a not fun name
... But I don't think I would want to change it, because its kinda tied to who I am. I may not know the bad meaning behind your name, so I can't and don't fully understand why you wanna change itpoint of the matter is I can understand your pain, but I don't really suggest changing it (but then again I dont know the baddness about it and it might be pretty bad sooooo I dont knooooow. sorry)
Hey there kiddos, if you'd let me put my 2 pence in.
To put it simply, I have always used the name "Aceranther" or "Ace" for short. About 6 years ago, back on my 12th birthday, I got my name changed and I've lived by the name "Ace" (For short) for the last 6 years. As was previously mentioned, names have power in them... But it all comes down to if you accept the past and history behind the prior name. When you change it you can either open a new path or close the book on your old self. It's important to see the distinction between what you want the new names meaning to be.
I think its important to not force it and just let it naturally happen. As you've said, you don't like your name so it'll probably be an organic change and will come naturally.
And for those who're wondering my full name is "Aceranther Whisper"... Pleasure as always kiddos.
To put it simply, I have always used the name "Aceranther" or "Ace" for short. About 6 years ago, back on my 12th birthday, I got my name changed and I've lived by the name "Ace" (For short) for the last 6 years. As was previously mentioned, names have power in them... But it all comes down to if you accept the past and history behind the prior name. When you change it you can either open a new path or close the book on your old self. It's important to see the distinction between what you want the new names meaning to be.
I think its important to not force it and just let it naturally happen. As you've said, you don't like your name so it'll probably be an organic change and will come naturally.
And for those who're wondering my full name is "Aceranther Whisper"... Pleasure as always kiddos.
You are on: Forums » Smalltalk » Changing your RL legal name (Advice?)
Moderators: Mina, Keke, Cass, Claine, Sanne, Dragonfire, Ilmarinen, Darth_Angelus