Forums » Smalltalk » i've never felt more stressed.

like the title says...holy hell, i feel like i'm literally about to explode from the amount of stress that i'm currently facing in my life. it keeps getting worse and i don't know how to handle it; it's like i'm at a dead end where no matter what i do, nothing's going to fix what's going on.

on top of already attending classes that take up my time from six in the morning to 4 in the evening, there is a very high possibility that i will now have to work from as soon as i'm done with my classes from the day to upwards of 11 or 12 at night. which means that i will have absolutely no free time in my life, period. it's not like i can't do it, either - financial reasons dictate that unless someone in the household becomes employed (i am currently the only able/willing to person) we're going to continue racking up debt from borrowing money and not paying bills that we're going to get evicted and be homeless again.

i don't know what to do. there's no way that i can juggle a schedule like that and not become some kind of lifeless husk that has no joy in life. it doesn't help that i have partners getting upset with me for being unavailable or otherwise not being able to tend to them, which is making my single outlet for creativity and enjoyment into something that resembles a job, ironically enough. half of the time people come to me for conversation, it's to remind me that i haven't posted for them yet. it's all really starting to pile up.

i'm lost. the idea that my life is about to become some meaningless grind from 6 in the morning to 12 at night with the only free time being for sleep is terrifying. i don't want this, but there's nothing i can do about it, except push it off for a few more months to delay the inevitable. i can't even afford a therapist or proper medication because of a $6000 deductible insurance, so that's out of the question too.

where the hell do i go from here?

Oh, damn, that sucks, Red. That's exactly why I haven't "chose" a "profession". Even though we're deep in debt and working the life out of ourselves are sold with the promises of lots of cash, you can't help but think if - in the end - it will be even worth it. I'd stay on my own, doing odd jobs here and there, making just enough money to pay the bills, feed me and my cats and be done with it, but I think I would suggest you to press forward. Even though I can't say for sure since I'm not in your shoes, Red, but you've came this far, you could keep going.

I just wish I could do something to actually help 'ya. Hearts out to you, Red, you can pull through to this, you're a hell of a person. You can do it.

I'm really not an expert in working nor studies yet, so all I came up with was : either listen to music and play on your phone during the travel time if you use public transports, so you can relax during that time, or try and make more work (studies) in less time (depending on the kind of studies that might be impossible). Maybe you could try and get an education loan (depends on the country you live in though) or other financial aid proposed by the university, or help your family members find a job (again, easier said than done but you lose nothing trying).

Wishing you all the best and to have a better schedule soon,
John the Warden

That's rotten and I'm sorry to hear you're going through it. I hope that getting it out here helped in some small way, and that someone else in your household steps up to share the responsibility -- nobody should have to light themselves on fire to keep other people warm.

Where to go? Good question. In the short term, hopefully you can figure out which of your less-than-kind partners are worth keeping. In the long term, hopefully you hatch a plan to leave your less-than-kind environment. Good luck.