Forums » Smalltalk » Losing Steam

Hello everybody.

So basically, my first big project with my friend on this website is kind of dead. There wasn't enough people replying for my taste and my friend had been losing steam with it. At first, I was going to try and keep it going, but I realized that I have my own stuff with my section in that rp. I usually like it when people are a bit more active because I get bored most of the time. But, I guess I lost steam with that project as well. I've already had a roleplay end because I let my anxiety convince me that the other player would notice my new message and they ended up losing steam with it. All I really have is the 1x1 I have with first-said-friend where we mostly work on lore and characters and stuff for our combined universe, but my friend isn't always as active as I am, no matter how hard he tries. Then I have a bunch of other messages from people who took an interest in my characters and then never responded to start. I also have some rps that were in the middle of being something amazing, but I lost steam in them since they were mostly genres that I couldn't get a good grasp on. So, I guess my life is just in... a little bit of a funk between developing my characters and making new stuff or checking on in-progress rps and trying to keep up on rps. I keep switching between the two sets and then I just feel like I'm... not contributing enough. As if I just sit there awkwardly, just saying stuff to get a message out there. As if the other player(s) are putting all of this work in and I just throw it away. And then when I try to find a rp based on my interests, I can't find anything that works for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I keep messing up my own experiences because I keep only focusing on one thing at a time. And it isn't fair to anyone that I rp with. I could really just use a little bit of a nudge in the right direction. Maybe some positivity from my friends and some fresh ideas. I don't know, I just feel like I need help but I don't know where to start or where to finish or what I need to work on. And also, thanks if you read that entire thing. It kind of means a lot to me.

That’s sad to hear, I wish I had some advice besides ‘wait it out’ which I don’t think is the right thing to do. I haven’t really done a project of similar scale with a partner before but it must be hard to realise your friend simply doesn’t have the same output as you do and it’s not anyone’s fault.

I’m in a similar lull where I want to start something new and fresh to spark some ideas (and recycle old failed ones) but, like you, I tried to find something aligned to my interests and found none. It’s frustrating, I may be being picky but when it comes to RP I see no point in joining something I’m only half-hearted about because then that leads to things fizzling out just like this. RPR is a great website but the forums move slow, only a handful of ads trickle by every day that I’m not (currently) interested in...

Maybe it’s worth taking a break and doing any hobby you have besides role playing, so that you’ll get some inspiration? Or you could simply chat to your friends here and it doesn’t have to be about whatever goes on your plots?

Also, it’s super fun to collaborate on projects with friends but personally I always have doubts in my head if I were to do anything serious with it - I’d be afraid to run into the same problem as you, or problems with ownership, like what would happen if we disagreed on what to add? What if we stop being friends for personal reasons and are unable to collaborate peacefully? I guess that’s how you see creators leave projects and they say it’s over "creative differences".

While I understand losing steam, feeling deflated, and not feeling as inspired as I was once was - we all go through these ups and downs so I think that's something pertinent to take note of.

But if I could be so bold as to impart some knowledge I've gained through my own experience? First thing to remember would be that whether it's a co-venture, someone is always going to end up doing more work, be more passionate, more active in building. Whether it becomes apparent soon or later on, it usually will. It's no one's fault, it simply is. You never know who's going to be the one who starts lagging in the beginning because it's all fun, energy and mutual motivation - and sometimes life rears its ugly side.

A project always changes its flavour too, when we open it up to the public. When a venture grows beyond you, or you and your partner, and becomes "open" - things definitely will change, and if it's a first go, it makes it all the more difficult to be prepared for that change or even know that it will change. In the view of running a group - suddenly the success of the project which was fun in the beginning now suddenly hinges on strangers who seems to ghost, when once they were energetic and excited about your idea(s). They might join, post a couple times and then - hey! Where did you go?! It becomes difficult to not get deflated, because you had something. Well, the truth is, you still do.

All those ideas you had, all that fun you created - you still have that capacity. Nothing you enter into doesn't die unless you let it. Are you allowed downtime? Absolutely! Are you allowed to take a break? Totally! Are people allowed to ghost? Yeah, even though it sucks. But as long as you haven't given up, all that creativity, all those ideas you had - they don't go anywhere because the person who brought them to the table is you, and you're still here. At the end of the day, even if your partner loses steam, even if everyone leaves (for whatever reason), it really dies if you let it. And this goes for everyone, whether it's a roleplay group, or a business project. (Not mentioning if you're lucky enough to find someone or people who love what you have done and when you want to 'retire', you can pass it down to someone else to keep it alive).

So, take a break. Wash your face, get a new perspective. Nothing hinges on this one project, especially your self worth or esteem. You still got that beautiful, creative brain in that noggin' of yours. One group isn't an end all be all, and know that you can continue with it, or not. Everything you start, you ultimately can end when it comes to this sort thing, and isn't a reflection of your personal success or not.

I started Tam'nýer—a' as a grieving process for losing my Dad. I didn't open it up to the public until last April, and I began building it July 6th of the year before that April. I build Tam'nýer—a' for me. I nurture Tam'nýer—a' for me. When I start losing sight of my passion for it, and get distracted by "Oh, my members aren't being active!" I lose steam so fast. But that isn't entirely my problem, nor is it my fault. People come and go, just like acquaintances and friends in life. It's natural. It's not a reflection on who I am, just as it isn't a reflection on you.

The main thing is that you keep doing things you love.
Do it for you.