Forums » Smalltalk » Just a burst of gratitude

Hey. If you roleplay with me...

Like at all...

I want you to know you are a star in my Universe.

Some of you are entire constellations. And if you're wondering "Am I one of those people?" Then, you are.

Because if you're wonderful, and smart, and talented, and I know about it? I've probably told you. I've told y'all over and over again, that I'm constantly amazed by the things we create together.

So I'm talking about like 15 ppl or so, but like 5 or so, it's just like...damn! Chemistry between characters! Chemistry OOC. Chem-is-tryyyyyyyyy!

The funny thing is, some people are so humble they'll probably think I'm talking about other ppl, but, like I said...if I roleplay with you, then you're very special to me. You've seen parts of me that no one else in the world has seen! The emotional parts.

The part of me that's damn good at something, and damn proud of something.

The part of me that's not struggling in some way or another, to find my way through the "real world," as we all are. As every human on the planet is, in some fashion, either out loud, or in silence, behind closed doors.

I'm saying this NOW, to make sure you know that even if I may not have responded in a while, I value you all...like...SO MUCH.

The IRL world has been full for me lately, in a good way. But don't think I've forgotten about it, or what we've got, because you all -- each and every one of you -- are irreplaceable to me. We each have something special, and I wouldn't trade it for any amount of shallow joviality.

You're all stars to me. And some of y'all are North stars, who lit my path to self-confidence. We're a community here, and HERE, is the first time I've ever experienced anything like that.

It makes me believe in it IRL. Do you understand what I'm saying? It makes me believe. If people can get along with me here, if people value me here--why does real life have to be any different?

We should all feel valued. If we don't, then we have to keep having faith. Because we can be. It's a thing. It's a real Thing, and we deserve it. Being valued. Being valued by a community. It takes baby steps sometimes. But it's real. It's there. It's a real thing. There's such a thing. You just have to find your crowd, sometimes. It takes trial and error, sometimes.

But it's impossible to overstate how important faith is. Faith in yourself, in your worth.

So yeah, 39 years old, and I'm just now figuring this out: "There are whole communities of people who will like me." That's a new idea.

We internalize so many ideas when we're kids that have to be untaught. And they get untaught by love and acceptance. They get untaught in places like this. Places where people can meet, and be different together. And it's okay. It's good.

Are you wondering if I'm tearing up while I'm writing this? Hell yes, I'm tearing up while I'm writing this. Am I crying? Hell yes, okay? I am. I want you people to know that you are valued; I want you to know that you make a difference. Just by being open. Just by being accepting, appreciative, free-thinkers.

I love this place. It's like that song "I love this bar," but there's no alcohol here, it's the "opium of imagination." I just made that up so--TM, or something. I'm just kidding, I'm sure someone has said that phrase before.

But do you know that you are valued? Because you are.

Every little thing you do here matters. Every friend request, every kudos, every freaking roleplay even if it lasts only a couple of days and ends cordially.

We're practicing social skills. We're practicing life skills. We're practicing saying "yes" politely, we're practicing saying "no," without hurting someone's feelings. We're practicing feeling included in a community. We're practicing feeling loved. Those things take practice. They don't teach you that in school.

So thank you. This post has become about the site, not only about the people I roleplay with, but you know that I mean you especially--yet I'm also talking about my OOC ppl, ESPECIALLY my OOC ppl, and people I've taken with me to other platforms for chat, and people I've only seen in forums, and even people I've blocked or who have left for one reason or another. This is like a city, and it's like nothing I've ever seen before, and I love all of y'all.

I'm not saying we're all angels, or that we all always get it right, but we try, and we practice, and when we go out into the real world with more certainty about who we are, what we're worth, what we like, what we don't, and what we need and have to offer each other than before, well, hell--we're changing the world.

Let's keep doing that stuff.

Ya know...I mean...just freakin'...

Thank you.