Not super necessary backstory
Sooo this isn't quite so light-hearted of a topic as I usually like to peruse myself, but I'm curious about people's thoughts and opinions of therapy. As in the professional kind conducted by a learned person with a degree that takes place in a building of office. My father, whom I have a somewhat strained relationship with, told me that I "might need help" in reference to therapy during an anxiety attack (I have general, social, and panic anxiety, which can form as weights, irritation, self-doubt, desperation, panic, that good stuff. My family are usually the ones to witness it, though I avoid that as much as possible).
I had been hiding off and on in the bathroom to avoid crying in front of everyone, which irritated him. I don't like to be close to people as I feel smothered when I'm anxious, which also irritated him because I kept trying to pull away when he tried to hug me (he wouldn't listen when I told him that it made me more anxious). He told me that I needed to find ways to cope (which I have and am using) as I was beginning to calm down. I told him I did have them, but they were hard to use when he wasn't listening to what I needed to do. He didn't really believe me, and said I might need help. I don't think I need a therapist. The time where one would have been useful was about seven-to-two years ago, and I'm able to, for the most part, manage my anxiety and am getting good at figuring out its symptoms and signals.
I had been hiding off and on in the bathroom to avoid crying in front of everyone, which irritated him. I don't like to be close to people as I feel smothered when I'm anxious, which also irritated him because I kept trying to pull away when he tried to hug me (he wouldn't listen when I told him that it made me more anxious). He told me that I needed to find ways to cope (which I have and am using) as I was beginning to calm down. I told him I did have them, but they were hard to use when he wasn't listening to what I needed to do. He didn't really believe me, and said I might need help. I don't think I need a therapist. The time where one would have been useful was about seven-to-two years ago, and I'm able to, for the most part, manage my anxiety and am getting good at figuring out its symptoms and signals.
So, UNASKED FOR BACKSTORY ASIDE my question: those of you who have had mental health issues and went to a therapist, did it help? Did it actually solve anything or make you feel better? I'm not planning on going, but thinking about the incident did make me curious if it actually helped you. I know it can help some, but I was curious on how others might be affected? Was it just talking to someone that helped? Were you prescribed medication? Did it not help?
Back when I was first sent to a therapist as a teenager, I was unwilling to open up and allow them to do anything to help me, so it was useless. I had unfair expectations and, in a way, a grudge against the very concept of therapists. Years later, when I finally willingly sought out a therapist, I was still secretly in the mindset that it wouldn't work and it took me a few tries to find a therapist that I clicked with; but during that time, I still picked up some helpful tidbits to help me loosen up and start rethinking things in new ways a little.
I found a therapist I clicked with last year. The situation wasn't ideal (I'm very inconsistent and she had very limited availability), but she was still supportive, and appointments became something to look forward to. After some insurance issues and getting through an initial fear that had me unwilling to try, she arranged for me to join a more focused therapy group. DBT, a form of CBT that focuses on helping a person learn how to balance extreme feelings and situations. Since I chose to actually embrace it and put in real effort, I've found that despite all the coping methods and things I've learned now at 30 years old, that the group is still helping me learn helpful things. Honestly, a lot of it isn't even things I didn't know, it's just packaged to help me better understand how to use it more efficiently.
I am of the opinion that even people who seem fully mentally healthy should see a therapist once in awhile, just to make sure they are keeping top maintenance on that, because everyone deals with a lot of stress. I know that therapy can still teach better coping methods to those who have had to learn them.
If you go to a therapist expecting it to fail, or expecting them to fix you... it's not really going to work for you. Therapists don't fix people. They only offer a better toolset to help yourself. It's up to you to take it and use it or not.
And honestly, going to a therapy group has dispelled so many deeply ingrained negative ideas about them. It's really a pretty cool bunch of people, and the leader is super sweet and supportive.
It doesn't matter how good you think you've gotten. There is always room for improvement, if you are willing to pursue it.
I found a therapist I clicked with last year. The situation wasn't ideal (I'm very inconsistent and she had very limited availability), but she was still supportive, and appointments became something to look forward to. After some insurance issues and getting through an initial fear that had me unwilling to try, she arranged for me to join a more focused therapy group. DBT, a form of CBT that focuses on helping a person learn how to balance extreme feelings and situations. Since I chose to actually embrace it and put in real effort, I've found that despite all the coping methods and things I've learned now at 30 years old, that the group is still helping me learn helpful things. Honestly, a lot of it isn't even things I didn't know, it's just packaged to help me better understand how to use it more efficiently.
I am of the opinion that even people who seem fully mentally healthy should see a therapist once in awhile, just to make sure they are keeping top maintenance on that, because everyone deals with a lot of stress. I know that therapy can still teach better coping methods to those who have had to learn them.
If you go to a therapist expecting it to fail, or expecting them to fix you... it's not really going to work for you. Therapists don't fix people. They only offer a better toolset to help yourself. It's up to you to take it and use it or not.
And honestly, going to a therapy group has dispelled so many deeply ingrained negative ideas about them. It's really a pretty cool bunch of people, and the leader is super sweet and supportive.
It doesn't matter how good you think you've gotten. There is always room for improvement, if you are willing to pursue it.
I've gone to a therapist before and I did not find it helpful. That being said I was a teenager who thought I knew everything and didn't fully listen to them anyway. But working as a nurse, I can tell you that going to see a therapist and talking through you problems can be extremely helpful in finding ways to cope. For that to work though, you need to be open to the idea of therapy in all its forms-- medication, journaling, talking, behavioral therapy...
Anxiety can be really difficult and frustrating to live with at times. I actually used to take medication to help with my panic attacks but with the help of my doctor I was weaned off them. I find that journaling and relaxation help me cope- it seems like you have found positive coping mechanisms from reading your backstory too.
If you aren't wanting to speak with a therapist, I wouldn't go to one. There are several self help books that you can buy to help cope with anxiety. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health disorders out there and there have been numerous books written on how to cope with it. Check out cognitive behavioral therapy- that's the leading treatment for anxiety besides medication. Take care!
Anxiety can be really difficult and frustrating to live with at times. I actually used to take medication to help with my panic attacks but with the help of my doctor I was weaned off them. I find that journaling and relaxation help me cope- it seems like you have found positive coping mechanisms from reading your backstory too.
If you aren't wanting to speak with a therapist, I wouldn't go to one. There are several self help books that you can buy to help cope with anxiety. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health disorders out there and there have been numerous books written on how to cope with it. Check out cognitive behavioral therapy- that's the leading treatment for anxiety besides medication. Take care!
Like Novalyyn, the first time I went to a therapist, I didn't find it helpful because I wasn't about to open up, and he was not conducive to helping me do so.
However, at 20, and with a more easy-to-talk to, female therapist, I did have a good experience.
I have been on and off various medications, and some helped, some didn't.
However, at 20, and with a more easy-to-talk to, female therapist, I did have a good experience.
I have been on and off various medications, and some helped, some didn't.
It can be helpful if you find the right person to talk to. I was in therapy off and on all my life, unimportant backstory here, but I’m starting to think I need to go back to it again due to extremely unhealthy amounts of loneliness and inability to keep friends. Definitely go to one that is able to help you with your needs, it may take a few different people but you’ll eventually find them
My mental health was getting very bad a few years ago and I new something was wrong, I just didn’t know what. So I went to see a therapist and honestly it made me feel so much worse. I ended up seeing about 5 different psychiatrist who keep giving me new drugs to try. The pills they gave me helped with my mental health a bit but made me physically sick so I missed a lot of work.
I know people who went to seek help and got what they were looking for, but for me I’ve just learned to deal with it and make the best out of my situation. If anyone’s curious I was diagnosed with pure O OCD.
I know people who went to seek help and got what they were looking for, but for me I’ve just learned to deal with it and make the best out of my situation. If anyone’s curious I was diagnosed with pure O OCD.
Hi there,
For those of you mentioning that it did not work because you weren't ready to open up-- that's exactly it! As some of you have already mentioned. Therapists and counsellors are well aware of this potentially happening. It's a pre-contemplation and contemplation stage-of-change. It's expected!
To anyone who says it didn't help-- it could be because a therapist did not 'click' with you. Like finding anything that resonates with you, it can take time for finding the "right" kind of therapist best for you. Keep in mind, there's different specialisations in the mental health field. Counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists all work from different perspectives whether that be a more medical-model approach or a more holistic approach. Depending on the professional, they also have different theories they must apply to explain their work at all times. If something isn't working, they tend to adjust as they get to know you and see what works best for helping you.
Personally I found it incredibly helpful when I went to a counsellor! I was very nervous at first and thought I wouldn't be understood. Turns out, just about every worry I had turned out to be incredibly common and that was very soothing for me. They're really trained in a variety of scenarios, including expecting clients to not be ready, not call, talk about issues we may find 'odd' or 'unheard of' and it's awesome to just get it off your chest.
For those of you mentioning that it did not work because you weren't ready to open up-- that's exactly it! As some of you have already mentioned. Therapists and counsellors are well aware of this potentially happening. It's a pre-contemplation and contemplation stage-of-change. It's expected!
To anyone who says it didn't help-- it could be because a therapist did not 'click' with you. Like finding anything that resonates with you, it can take time for finding the "right" kind of therapist best for you. Keep in mind, there's different specialisations in the mental health field. Counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists all work from different perspectives whether that be a more medical-model approach or a more holistic approach. Depending on the professional, they also have different theories they must apply to explain their work at all times. If something isn't working, they tend to adjust as they get to know you and see what works best for helping you.
Personally I found it incredibly helpful when I went to a counsellor! I was very nervous at first and thought I wouldn't be understood. Turns out, just about every worry I had turned out to be incredibly common and that was very soothing for me. They're really trained in a variety of scenarios, including expecting clients to not be ready, not call, talk about issues we may find 'odd' or 'unheard of' and it's awesome to just get it off your chest.
Bipolar / anxiety here. A combination of therapy and the appropriate medication has been, for me, a literal life-saver. I can't recommend cognitive behavioral therapy enough; it's provided me with so many tools that have allowed me to grow into a far healthier person. I'm better to my family, my friends, my partner, and much better to myself. Sessions with my counselor have played such a tremendous part in that, and I'll always recommend giving it a try!
I've been to a number of therapists and found all of them completely useless.
You can say its just bias against them or whatever, but if your just going to use that explanation then you could say that for anything. either way, nothing they say or do can or will ever help. I guess maybe just talking isnt going to get me anywhere.
Not that I dont talk to them. I'm rather straightforward with my problems and sorta "wear my heart on my sleeve" so to speak.
I've been on several medications, none of which I noticed any difference with whatsoever.
You can say its just bias against them or whatever, but if your just going to use that explanation then you could say that for anything. either way, nothing they say or do can or will ever help. I guess maybe just talking isnt going to get me anywhere.
Not that I dont talk to them. I'm rather straightforward with my problems and sorta "wear my heart on my sleeve" so to speak.
I've been on several medications, none of which I noticed any difference with whatsoever.
Therapy is a double-edged sword. I’ve been to a couple of therapists throughout my life, trying to figure out why I was feeling like I was.
I suffer from chronic depression, social and panic anxiety with psychotic tendencies, paranoia and mild OCD.
I viewed my therapist as a conversation partner, whom held no other influence in my life other than I could unload whatever was troubling me. I told them about issues with my friends, behavior patterns I realized I had, family and so on.
While therapy didn’t make me feel better in the long run, it did equip me with tools to spot issues and possible triggers for me. I learned how to take better care of myself, and while it was difficult to apply what I had learned, it did help me move forward with my situation.
I suffered from a psychotic episode one and a half year ago, where I tried to cut off my own arm, and that somehow grounded me and made me realize I had to do something now. I got some intense therapy to help me work through the trauma of the situation I had been in and then I asked my doctor to prescribe me anti-depressive medicin. It turned out medicin was the way forward for me.
However, I am grateful for the conversations I have had with my therapists. It is something you need to approach with the idea that they are there to help you, and you need to open up to them, otherwise it is a waste of time.
I suffer from chronic depression, social and panic anxiety with psychotic tendencies, paranoia and mild OCD.
I viewed my therapist as a conversation partner, whom held no other influence in my life other than I could unload whatever was troubling me. I told them about issues with my friends, behavior patterns I realized I had, family and so on.
While therapy didn’t make me feel better in the long run, it did equip me with tools to spot issues and possible triggers for me. I learned how to take better care of myself, and while it was difficult to apply what I had learned, it did help me move forward with my situation.
I suffered from a psychotic episode one and a half year ago, where I tried to cut off my own arm, and that somehow grounded me and made me realize I had to do something now. I got some intense therapy to help me work through the trauma of the situation I had been in and then I asked my doctor to prescribe me anti-depressive medicin. It turned out medicin was the way forward for me.
However, I am grateful for the conversations I have had with my therapists. It is something you need to approach with the idea that they are there to help you, and you need to open up to them, otherwise it is a waste of time.
Um i know this is probably a really stupid question but in some cases, will going to a therapist help? Because im dealing with a certain type of situation and people keep telling me to go see one but i dont think i need to see one... i apologize if this is a dumb question.
Megan Scotts wrote:
Um i know this is probably a really stupid question but in some cases, will going to a therapist help? Because im dealing with a certain type of situation and people keep telling me to go see one but i dont think i need to see one... i apologize if this is a dumb question.
Well, as has been established, I think it depends on the situation and your mentality when you go into it. Your post was kind of vague, but therapy seems to be entirely helpful (even if there are no problems) so long as you enter with an open mind and willingness to receive help from your therapist.
Megan Scotts wrote:
Um i know this is probably a really stupid question but in some cases, will going to a therapist help? Because im dealing with a certain type of situation and people keep telling me to go see one but i dont think i need to see one... i apologize if this is a dumb question.
That said, therapists can offer:
- Tools to help you solve problems more efficiently (some really are surprisingly neat, simple, and effective)
- Ways to reframe thoughts and feelings to make them easier to manage (it sounds weird, but it really can be helpful)
- Validation
- An open ear to let you just vent (and sometimes just saying something out loud will change your perception of it)
- Assistance in helping you determine what outcome you want, and how best to get there
I've been in a DBT course, and some of the tools and things being discussed in there, honestly, are things we know, things that seem facepalm-obvious, but that we've just needed someone outside of us to put into a cohesive statement for us to actually be able to use.
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