Forums » RP Discussion » Is it just me or do you find Doms hard to find?

Hi! I'm M & M

Just thought I'd start up a convo about the real struggle to find dominant characters. Do you find this too? It just feels like all Looking for RP posts are in search of dominant characters and very rarely the shy submissive ones.

Or am I missing out on an oasis of aggressive, controlling derrs (Who somehow keep missing my honing beacon)? haha!

Anyway, I'm open to discuss what your findings are on this topic!

oh man yeah. that’s a problem i have on many many many sites i’m on. it’s probably because everyone on the internet seems pretty shy and anxious so that reflects onto their characters?

Yeah! Either that or everyone loves the sub role and not many are into being dominant....

I like both, each has their own uniqueness.

Most of my characters are switches but yes.

You’re very right actually, I mentioned it before I think. I’m not sure why honestly, maybe it’s a comfort zone thing. I feel like often people who play dom often lead the plot as well (in my experience playing both, but mostly dom).

Yeah, that’s probably true! It might have something to do with real life confidence and security. I guess driving the whole thing can take a lot out of a person.

I’m debating cultivating my dom side. Before I found it scary- but perhaps it’s just the challenge I need....

I'm almost afraid to post this... but... ahem. Here I am!

Welcome Madam Mina!

I hope this chat doesn't clobber you with eager subs!

I myself usually search for Male doms. But I am open to trying new things! If you want to chat, do PM me

PS. I solemnly swear I honor and understand the BDSM life style and have no intention of insulting you with non-con requests.

Do you need a Male doms right now 😂

YES!

Yeah finding Doms on any site is difficult.

My OC's usually are doms, but like my friend Rigormortiful said: They can switch. Though what I like is power sharing/struggle. But that's mostly for straight relations. Not saying it can't be done in same sex, just that is how I mostly do so.

I have a few doms! I think what it is is that most people with dominant characters don't make forum posts, but rather reply to submissive characters forums post. I suppose it makes sense with the whole 'subs ask, doms don't' thing, (joking, but it kinda makes sense right?)

There are plenty dominant characters, but usually I stick to advertising my submissive characters, and replying to other submissive characters forum posts with my dominant ones.

Here are some of my dominant/switch characters if you're interested:

Alistair

Aster

Belinda

Imogen

Milo - he's my special boi because he's quite feminine and gender nonconforming but more dominant than anyone ever expects.

Roman

Ramsey

Scar.

Nearly all of my characters have a dominant streak because I myself have a dominant streak. With that said, I don't identify as a dom and neither do any of my characters. I used to, but I found that only seemed to attract people who want pure smut, or... People who were so "submissive" that they may as well have asked me to write a novel starring our characters while they sit back and read. Overall, I grew bored of the concept and equally bored of people expecting me to recreate their fantasy with little to no effort on their part.

Anyway, I don't think dominant personalities are rare. I think the problem is that not everyone likes to categorize themselves by dom or sub, especially since not everyone wants to associate with those terms. Although I fit the bill and I have my fair share of interests, I don't like any of those communities or labels anymore. I find that RPs are so much more rewarding when you let shit happen however it happens without worrying about everyone's role. I especially love the freedom to "lose" a competition and switch...

But that's just me.

You're probably right about that! It's good to hear the other side of the perspective--- I know in the past I've pushed away a good partner for that "Lazy Sub" position!!! Yikes that hurt to admit it at the time, but it was true. I wasn't taking the reigns at all in so doing lost a really engaging game.

It's a really good reminder to be confident and secure in one's self, let alone in ones writing/ character. Something I'm learning every time I play. So far I'm pushing the envelope on what I can give to an RP, and in RL. I'm allowed to make decisions and be strong in myself and therefore in my characters too! I've totally been passive in the past and I'm determined to be mindful of that!

Thanks for sharing Bunny! Definitely helped me hit the nail on the head there.

Ugh- I totally agree! I play both, because both sub and dom are amazing roles, but I've really noticed that there's a ridiculous amount of people looking for doms. It sucks for strictly sub or sub-leaning roleplayers, because their posts barely get attention, whereas the people looking for subs get a ridiculous amount of attention! I thought I was the only one who noticed this!

Hells yeah you aren't the only one!!!

IT'S AN EPIDEMIC

JONNY WE ARE LOSING THEM!!!!

Don't ask I'm just being weird

But perhaps Bunny is right, Dom's just don't advertise the way Subs do...probably because they would get clobbered LOL

I agree, especially on the lfrp forums. I don’t remember ever having seen a dominant character make a post but maybe most people on this website just prefer to play sub characters? I don’t know, but that’s my best guess!

I’m hoping to become more dominant myself to help level out the playing field ha ha!!!

Yeah, in my experience doms are pretty rare around RP sites. I'm guessing it's because people who RP are mainly shy folks, and playing as a dom requires a certain type of confidence. I guess it would also be kind of you're taking the lead, so you're the one that has to do the most work. Honestly, playing dom characters is kind of fun and rewarding in a way, but at the same time, I'm unsure if I'm playing it right. It's really that uncertainty that can be discouraging that is less so when I'm playing a sub.

Or it could just be a coincidence. Or also since a lot of sub characters and players can be lazy, doms just don't really advertise as much.