Forums » RP Discussion » Polyamorous relationships in roleplay

Hello! I recently started to develop a plot idea for one of my characters that includes the possibility of a polyamorous relationship. I’ve done some research on tumblr and youtube but as I haven’t seen many poly relationships on this site (in roleplay, not oocly), I want to ask if there’s anybody who has some form of experience with this? Some advice would be great, too! ^^

I have two rps poly relationships, one planned, and one character who is generally poly regardless of rp. I've also been in a poly relationship myself. So I am open for any questions!

My biggest advice would be to have it be something you're looking to do/planning for the RP but let it happen as naturally as possible.

I've had it happen where I planned it and one of the character just didn't mesh well or feel what I expected she would, so it ended up just being the other two together; I've also had it where the RP started as just a two person couple and somehow the best friend of one of them fell in love with them, and they fell in love with that friend too and now they're just all together.

My longest running poly couple started with my character Wolfgang, falling in love with a woman he was protecting, Emilia his 'boss/friend' Bastille who is the Godfather of the mafia is he part of, secretly had feelings for Wolfgang, also developed feelings Emilia, Wolfgang has feelings for them both and Emilia fell for both of them, so now they're all together.

I would love to discuss with you, so feel free to message me or I can reply here. ^-^

In the case of the plot idea, it would be something that happened to be more or less planned but I guess you take that chance with any possibly planned pairings; either they get along or they don’t. In most cases, I figure it’s worth a shot anyway

Awwe, that sounds really cute!! :’) Thank you for being so kind about it and offering your help! I can’t send you a private pm though as I’m not on your friend-list or within your age group (I promise I’ll be 18 in less than two months but rules are rules)

Okie doke, if there's anything you're fine with asking here then go ahead but I can make an exception if you have something you really want to ask in PM.

It’s so nice of you to offer that! I would very much appreciate it, as I don’t want other players to stumble upon this forum in the future and maybe misunderstand something and take offense; the last thing I want to is accidentally offend somebody, especially when I’m just trying to learn. ^^

I've RPed out poly-relationships, and I feel one of the big things to consider is a lot of OOC communication between everyone. Make sure the others are alright with what happens or what may happen, so there's no risk of someone being uninterested in certain things (and getting upset if they occur without their say in it) or feeling left out. Be sure to pick the people you go for with it carefully, since I know some people might get too attached OOCly and jealous over certain interactions/scenes.

Ooooh this is a great input, thank you! I see how ooc communication can be extra important and needed in such roleplays but I hadn't given it much thought before you mentioned it c:

I have a few experiences in polyamorous roleplay (albeit with one person so far, and I'm still looking for more), not to mention I'm openly polyamorous (write what you know, right?) so I'm more than happy to chime in too.

I second what Rook said: no matter what the relationship, communication is vital, but it's especially important in a polyamorous relationship, roleplay or otherwise! It's also good to note that if you plan to toss in a more negative aspect of a relationship like cheating, it not only affects one person, but the other people outside of the offender too. So it's wise to explore those kinds of emotions and dealings not only with each individual person, but whenever they meet up as a group, if that makes sense.

For example, Lover A could be outright distraught or depressed about discovering Lover B's infidelity outside their agreed upon relationship with Lover C, but Lover C handles it by throwing themselves into their work and putting on a façade, which can affect the interactions between Lovers A and C. Then that affects their interactions while either one of them is alone with Lover B, or even when they all meet up in a group. The possibilities are endless, and it gets more intense when you toss other people who are close to each lover in the mix.

It also depends on what kind of polyamorous relationship you're looking for. Are you wanting all three (or more) of them to fall in love with each other? Do you want two (or more) people to fall in love with one person, but they have a mutual agreement to share said person? Or something else? That should also be discussed with your partner or partners, especially if a planned dynamic develops into a different idea altogether.

Almost every piece of research I’ve done mentioned that communication is an extremely important thing in - especially polyamorous - relationships to avoid jealousy but also to be honest about feelings when fx. jealousy happens.

I think it’s a good idea to explore both negative and positive sides of it but the cheating idea sounds like a bad prejudice, you know? I completely understand what you meant but I’ve read it’s a very common misconception that people in poly relationships are more likely to cheat; I just don’t think it would be something I’m interested in (sorry for the ramble!) ^^

That ties together with communication because I think the best I can do is to be as clear as possible while expressing what I want in regards of the characters possible relationship, what should be avoided, etc. But I thank you for mentioning it because it doesn’t hurt at all to be reminded of how important communication is!

Ah, that was just an example: a terrible one in retrospect, but one nonetheless. I've also heard the cheating misconception from various sources, and it's terrible to assume something like that. I've had it implied by one or two people towards my own arrangement, and it hurts bad because I pride myself on being as open as possible with anyone who asks or needs to know this information.

Any other negative event can replace that particular subject, but I also think it's good to face those kinds of misconceptions and bust them, because people will end up pointing it out whether we like it or not. Besides, you can always make an epic deal about pointing out just how wrong they are. But that's me. You've already established that's not what you're looking for, and that's fine too!

Overall, I'm so happy that you're doing some very good research on this! It shows you're dedicated to representing us right, and I can't ask for anything better than that!

I can only imagine how terrible it must feel to be accused of something so hurtful. In any relationship, it seems like the most important thing for the relationship to thrive and be a healthy one, is that there is a good communation between all partners. I think I personally would prefer, in roleplay, that a character is accused of cheating rather than my character or one of the others actually having cheated on their partners because I know my character well enough to be sure that they would break the relationship off.

Of course! In realistic roleplays, highs and lows are both important to be portrayed; and it's great that everything can be suited as we players see it fit! ^^

Aww, I'm very happy to hear that :') I always try to do my best when I choose to portray subjects in roleplay that I'm not familiar with in real life, which includes doing as much research as possible; so it's great to get this response!

I would very much appreciate some more insight to this!