Forums » Smalltalk » Do people know that you roleplay?

This topic recently came to mind because nobody I know irl knows that I’m on this site. It’s not like I think it’s a secret (maybe, kind of?) but I don’t feel like it’s necessary to mention to my friends or family; just like I rarely talk to them about my other hobbies. I think I in some way do choose to keep it secret though because I feel like I would be a bit embarrassed that people know, for some reason that I can’t put my finger on.

So, I want to ask if your friends, family or significant others know that you roleplay? And if they do or don’t, why or why not?

Well I don't go around announcing it, but I'm pretty open about it. My only hesitation is "can I explain this without just confusing them?" Usually the explanation I do give is along the lines of "It's like taking turns writing a story, but each person only controls one character in that story."

Heck yea LOL

I met my significant other through roleplay. He is very aware. My family is aware too. My brother is a big time gamer and used to GM D&D and similar kinds of games with his friends. Beyond my significant other and my immediate family, I cant say that i advertise it. but I think thats just my choice in friends.. they would think its silly. However, I dont hide either, like its on my art accounts so if people put the pieces together and called me out on it I would be like *shrug* yea so what? its fun

That being said - my man keeps it a secret. His work would make fun of him for meeting me through RP so we say we met "online" and leave it at that. easy to get away with since there are so many online dating apps now.

Just about anyone that gets to know me irl eventually learns that I roleplay. Be it text base free form or tabletop, I make no attempt to hide that I enjoy that kind of creative outlet. And most of my friends are involved in similar hobbies, so in that circle, all is cool. My fiance is a big gamer and tabletop player, so he and I write together often. My family doesn't 'quite' get it, but they don't think bad about it (or at least don't think bad about it anymore)

The way I tend to explain it is 'collaborative creative writing and world building'. And explaining it that way was how I managed to get my dad involved in a one shot D&D campaign, which had hilarious results that he fondly retells all the time. Being able to show him that little part of what I enjoy and bond over it was well worth the explanation.

Yeah. I remember trying to explain to my mom about ten years ago about collaborative writing role playing. She listened to me and nodded, and said, "I sure would like to read your stories." I did send her the urls of some of the public stories. I don't know if she ever read any of them. Love you mom! Rest in Peace (she passed away in April 2015)

My wife and I are writing an epic Middle Earth RP based on the Gondorian Kin Strife on another site, and she knows I'm here on RPR and I know she is on Black Dahlia. We avoid each other's playgrounds.

My granddaughter is here on RPR. I won't embarrass her by mentioning her user name.

No one brings it out, although I would tell if they asked what I do.

I'd say most people I'm familiar with know I rp. I mention it in conversation at work. My family knows I do it and my roommate is the one who introduced me to it. A ton of my friends in high school did it as well. Although, I can't say that most people I say I roleplay to understand what the heck I'm talking about. Even my family, and I've been doing this for like....fifteen years. They just know it's a thing I do online.

I have friends and family that know I role play. To people who don't understand, I say I do collaborative fiction writing because when you say "role play"....people who don't understand what you mean think it's bedroom stuff. Soooo I do what I can to try to avoid that awkward conversation all together by being more clear from the get go. None of my coworkers know I do this, though.

I'm kinda like that attitude, that way of answering the question, 'what is roleplaying?'

I don't go out of my way to hide that I am writing, but they don't (usually) try and ask what specifically I am writing, either.

Can I just say, your dad sounds like an awesome guy?!

If I can reasonably expect the person to struggle with the concept of roleplay (because they might only see roleplay as something that you do in the bedroom or the online equivalent of that), I may just tell them that I do collaborative writing of novel-style stories, where everybody writes a piece and it is put together to create a comprehensive story. Most people seem to get that you can write pieces of fiction as different people and put them together to create a book, because that happens all the time in writing/publishing as it is with ghost writers and the like. I'm otherwise not bothered by people knowing, but like some others I'm more concerned with the energy put into trying to explain it.

My roommate doesn't RP, but he's aware of its existence and how it works and that I RP. Other than that, most of the people I know IRL who know about roleplaying, are roleplayers themselves, sooo...

Yes! Though it hasn't always been that way. I joined rpr almost exactly three years ago, last month.

No one really knew, mainly because I simply didn't have any friends I could see in person and very few friends I spoke to online. But over the last few years I've made friends I can see in person, (mainly because of writers group,) and several online friends, of course from here so obviously they know.

I told my best friend who lives several states from me that I RP/Collaborative Write, probably a year and a half or two years ago ago when I got tired of not being able to tell her about things on RPR whether I was excited about something or hurt my something. I wanted to be able to tell her and her understand. She pretty much just said she could never do that because she likes having complete control of things and I laughed because yeah, it is kind of difficult for me not to sometimes - but I've met wonderful people who are almost always on the same page as me but even when they aren't it's a delightful surprise 99% of the time.

I told my dad about a year ago or so. I pretty much just called RPR my 'writing website' when I spoke to my dad and he didn't question it since he knows I'm a novelist and write fan fiction, but I explained more recently that it's a collaborative writing website for RP, and some people play DnD on it as well, just in text form. I mainly told him because I needed to tell him one thing I wanted for Christmas was money to get character slots for myself and a couple other people, and he didn't really get that so I had to explain. He thinks it's interesting and is glad I am happy at the very least haha.

My writing group know I RP because several other people RP as well. Mainly on twitter or discord, and they mostly fandom RP for anime and games. I've recommended this website to them but they are just comfortable where they are.

I've only had a relationship with two people since I started RPing, my ex boyfriend - I met on here. So he knew.

And a woman I went on a few dates with knew because she also RP's so the topic came up.

I went from being kind of embarrassed about RPing because people put a bad name on it when I first joined, to now I talk about it pretty frequently.

Pretty much everyone in my life knows.

For me this is a mixed bag. My SO knows I RP because they were the one who encouraged me to get into RP instead if sitting alone writing stories for tabletop characters. No playing the tabletop, mind you, but spending hours on their backstory I wouldn’t show anyone. It turned out cooperative RP was a lot more fun for me! They also RP so we both understand when the other has stayed up way to late typing words to a stranger (or friend) online.
One of my longest lasting friends is someone I met on the RP site that I was encouraged to get into, they also know that I RP because, frankly, they are the person I write with the most out of anyone. We have bonded over RP and then slowly leaked into bonding over RL. We just clicked, and there are no secrets there.
But from a more general view, no, I don’t tend to outright tell people I RP. It’s not a secret, and I’m not ashamed but it also isn’t something that often comes up. I think of it like video games in a way. I don’t brag about my high score, I won’t brag about my RP game… If that makes sense? I understand that none of them judge me or may possibly think it's cool, and I won’t avoid making a post in front of my friends or family. In fact if I need to make one and we aren’t doing anything I will make mention that, ‘I need to write something real quick’ to be polite and not seem like I'm ignoring them. But when/ if they ever ask “What’cha writing?” they don’t get anything more than the quintessential ‘Oh, you know, just RP stuff…’
I can’t help but think this has little to do with RP being in anyway stigmatized or taboo and more to do with me. I also don’t show off my art, sewing, cooking or selfies. For me, it doesn’t fit into my lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean anyone else should ever feel bad or ashamed to shout from the rooftops that they are being creative. RP takes a lot of time and effort, not just making the characters but sculpting a life for them, and there is no shame in showing/sharing that with the people you love as long as you know it is something they want to see.

Just about everyone knows that I do tabletop roleplaying games, and also write; fewer folks know that the writing is mostly roleplaying, hahah.

Written-roleplay is a bit of a niche hobby in my circle of friends (tabletop isn't, though; we're all a bunch of nerds), and I don't think anyone of my husband's family has any familiarity with it at all. He does - he'd almost have to after all these years! - but he doesn't partake himself.

Most of the time when I do discuss it with someone, I use something along the lines of "collaborative writing/storytelling" to explain it, which gets the point across pretty well.

I used to be quiet about RPing because I wasn't sure how to talk about it (without people assuming I meant the naughty kind), but nowadays I have no problem talking about it. I still find it rather ridiculous that "bedroom RP" is the first thing that comes to some people's minds - as if I'd ever start talking about something like that out of the blue - but I've learned how to shut down assumptions like that.

"Bedroom roleplay? Sure, you can roleplay in the bedroom but you don't have to. It's kind of like online DnD or writing a novel with other people so all you need is something to write with... What, that's not what you meant? What kind of roleplay have you been up to?"

Makes em all embarrassed when they're the one who has to explain that they don't do that kind of RP.

This is a very encouraging thread that made me smile. I think it’s great some of your close ones are made aware, and even participate in RPs! That must be so thrilling. To share ideas and thoughts about creative works with someone else in person, discussing plots and lore on the same wavelength.

my parents knows I RP but they think I'm doing safe PG Roleplay Wich I do not all my roleplays are 18+ but like I have disability parents don't know I'm hmmm like this

Very few people in my life know that I RP. Some people know that I do "collaborative writing", and some knows that I just do a bit of "writing" in general. The vast majority of people I interact with don't do/don't know RPing, and I'm a bit... Private when it comes to sharing what I write with other people. My boyfriend knows that I write and RP, but he doesn't know what I write about.

When I first started roleplaying (by the way, I really think "collaborative writing" is so much better of a description for the third person 1x1 multi-paragraph kind, just sayin')...I was all excited and couldn't stop talking about it with everybody. Also the bragging rights of being able to say, "I'm writing a XYZ story with a girl from the UK," or "a guy from S. Africa," or "a lady in Denmark..." It's amazing. I'm still amazed by it.

But I figured out preeeeety quickly that people weren't as interested in hearing about my characters and roleplay plots as I was interested in talking about them -- and that people tended to not understand as soon as I said the word "roleplaying."

But...some people thought it was fantastic, especially when I showed them character art I've bought or been given from onsite artists and how good it is, and some things like that.

What irks me is when people look at me like I'm playing a child's game and I glare at them and try to explain, "you don't understand how good some of these writers are. Some are literally professional writers, and some will likely be writers. These stories are deep, relevant, sophisticated. This is writing." So...I'm careful how I explain it.

But yep, most of my friends did not know what it was at all and I have rambled on and on about it, explaining it. But now I'm more mellow about it, it's not like at the beginning where I was like, "I actually wrote this! Look--read this paragraph right here. *pushes my phone in someone's face* Can you believe I wrote this? This is exactly like the kind of writing that's in a real book!" *rolls my eyes* lol haha