Forums » RP Discussion » When your writing doesnt click with someone else's

[Typed on my phone so might not be perfect]

When your writing just doesn't click with someone elses... What do you do?

Sometimes it's because they write too much or too little for your liking. Other times their writing is at a grade level that's too high or too low for you to enjoy or feel comfortable with it.

Or on the other hand - your post length or grade level of writing, is not their preference.

Other times you just aren't sure what's not clicking for you but it simply is not. A lot of the time you know right off the bat that it's not going to work out. You get that wobbly belly feeling, your heart sinks down a bit, you get nervous. Wonder if you should keep going.

So you do - and things don't get better.

You find yourself lackluster but now you feel anxious about the idea of ending things. You wonder if you're a bad person for not enjoying their writing even if you're not sure why but especially if you do know why and don't want to come off rude.

So you debate calling things off.

But they might ask why... Do you answer? Honestly? Or do you simply say it's not working out and unfortunately you need to end things?

Do you just stop answering and try to slowly ignore the anxiety?

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I've been.... On both sides. Usually for me it's an issue of someone writing less than I prefer or not writing at the grade level I prefer (sometimes far below or even too far above for me) but often times I just am uncertain why its not working, but know I do not want to ask someone to change how they write. I'd not want someone to ask me to do such a thing.

Unless it was a accessibility thing (such as bolding dialogue, double spacing, paragraph spacing).


I have told people I don't want to continue, I've sometimes said why, sometimes not. And I've ghosted people before. The latter something that I am working on hard. Trying not to let bad experiences where people got really mad at me keep me from at least letting people know but sometimes it's scary.

I'd love to discuss how other people deal with someone else's writing simply not clicking with you, for whatever reason, and opinions on if you prefer to keep going and see if it eventually clicks or end things as soon as you get that not so great feeling.

Thankfully it hasn't happened to me in a while but I felt like it was a good topic to bring up as I'm sure it happens to everyone. I know I'm not the only one who feels guilty when writing just doesn't click with me.

I've tried to tough stuff out through character, which can be especially frustrating for both parties, because I'm trying to stay true to my character who might not want to do something, while the other writer is trying to make some specific plot happen. This has ended in some accusing me of persona playing and/or not being nice, when really it was an attempt at the opposite

I've had times where I didn't know how to proceed, tried to but nothing "came out", and was fortunate enough to have the other player check in. I find that when players ask if I'm still interested, it's a lot easier to answer with a polite "no, sorry!" than to bring it up on my own in the first place.

If a player really cares enough to ask "why", I always try to be fair and answer honestly. This has ended in arguments, because they'll try to pick apart my preferences or perspective, and when I try to explain myself it loops back around to me not being "nice" or they'll try to assert their logic over my comfort. The best you can do then is ask for moderator intervention, or gently drop a block.

I've been on the other side of it too, I remember telling a player once that I was especially busy but would try to reply frequently, and got a PM a week later saying I was too slow and they were cutting off the RP. I was hurt and frustrated at first, but later decided it wasn't worth being worked up about, we just had different schedules.

At the end of the day the best thing you can do is just keep trying! Eventually you find writing you DO click with.

this situation really sucks and i don't think there's much to do about it except for communicating with the partner. when this has occured to me, i've gone some days without replying before letting them know that i didn't have any muse for the roleplay and that i felt unable to write a reply

this isn't exactly true but meanwhile, it's not a lie either. i do lose my muse for a roleplay if i easily can tell that my partner is way less invested in it than i am, if my partner doesn't seem to care to fix their mistakes (i don't think i'm strict when it comes to grammar, but after all, with the site we're on, i can't stand reading replies where my partner can't tell the difference between your / you're and they / their / there) or if they present their character as royalty (when this isn't the case). i'm okay with my partner doing so if it's a part of the roleplay but i lose interest very quickly if they seem to indirectly put their character on a piedestal and like they're just completely flawless

i'm still working on being completely honest; because i don't want to hurt any feelings or end up in drama, so i think that's why i let them know if it becomes difficult for me to write a reply to the specific roleplay; i don't give them the exact reason why, most of the time because i also don't think it's very necessary

I've only had this specific issue happen twice since joining RPR, thankfully.

Once when I was in highschool that I definitely could've handled better, but that ship has passed, so...

Once more recently; It isn't that the person had a bad style, but they certainly gave less to work with than I was comfortable with, and so pretty quickly into the RP starting, I basically sent a message saying that I felt it was best to stop the RP; When questioned on specifics, I said that our writing styles didn't mesh as well as I necessarily wanted them to. They asked for more specifics, but in the end things ended pretty amicably, which was nice.


I've also had this sort of issue before I started writing with you actually! I started an RP where I'd get out very short half-paragraph responses per reply (save a rare longer one describing a scene setting or something); But then I started writing with you, and your requirement (at the time) of 250+ words really kicked my butt into gear and I felt so much better about the content I was putting out even if I replied slower (quality > quantity type thing). I started applying that rule to my own RP style, and thankfully that person was nice about my writing more (they're great ), but this one thankfully didn't end!



Obviously people aren't always going to mesh well when it comes to writing styles because it's sort of like a fingerprint; Each and every one is so unique, and sure there may be some overlapping stylistic choices or something, but everyone has such unique experiences to add to RPs that change how they write characters, prose, etc. It's sort of wonderful when you do find that person(s) that we can write with comfortably, even if that doesn't always happen.

My big opinion is that RP, no matter the feeling of obligation, is always meant to be fun and not a job (unless it is, in which someone needs to hook me up with that job please ). I want to have fun and I want other people to have fun. And sure, it would suck to have an RP cut off that I was personally enjoying, but I'd rather people have fun with my/their characters rather than force it and be unhappy whenever they see / open my specific RP with them.



TL;DR RP is for fun, and I try to keep that in mind above all else.

I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. I have some people I click really well with, but others that I don't know how to play with. I feel like I'm very picky when it comes to partners, and I think that's okay, but I think having some leeway for stuff is good and helps me grow as a RPer. If I really don't think our styles click, then I just say something like. "Hey, I'm enjoying this RP, but I feel like I can't continue. I don't feel a good flow with our writing styles and it makes it hard for me to give you my best, and I feel like I can't with our two styles."

Thanks for your reply!

This specifically...is very difficult. I told someone I wanted to end the RP because their writing was a bit too...high up for me. I write around a 10th-12th grade level and their writing was more so like 6th year in college and it was stressful. They replied telling me I was just scared to improve and had led them on and wasted their time by even starting the RP.

It was rough.

But I do try to be honest - even if I'm worried they won't take it well.

Thank you for your reply! I agree that it's hard to give exact reasons, espeically when you're nervous about the response. I don't think it's necessary either if it's just a 'our writing doesn't mesh well' thing and isn't something they could actually gain knowledge from. Since their writing isn't a problem, it's just the problem of that specific situation if that makes sense.

First of all, aw! I am flattered. Considering I myself used to write barely one paragraph, and you used to write half a paragraph and now we are both throwing paragraphs and paragraphs at each other some days... It's amazing. I love your writing. We have so many RPs, [though a couple are definitely getting favoritism] and it makes me happy we write so well together. I am glad we are writing partners ( and friends )

Secondly, I agree. RP should be fun! I know some people who say you shouldn't end an rp because writing doesn't mesh and instead teach them and wait for their writing to develop - but the issue with that is 1. it assumes they want to change their writing, or it needs to change. 2. it assumes it's the job of RPers to teach other RPers. While it's a delightful outcome when someone learns something from your writing or you learn from theirs (I have learned a lot from my partners) I don't think it's someones responsibility to teach anyone. But that's a whole different topic.

Thank you!

I can be a little picky too. I tend to have more RP's than I do partners, because once I find partners I enjoy, I have multiple RP's with them usually. I have several partners I have 3 rps with each, one I have like 4-5 RPs with. When I click with someone I really click - which just means when I don't click with someone...oh boy do I not click.

I got into an rp last year with someone who after a few posts I felt it just wasn’t going to work. We had an OOC discussion and the issue was they weren’t that fluent in English and was needing to translate a lot of words.

So I stuck it out for a bit and they got better and I was able to adjust my writing to better mesh with them. By by the time the RP came to an end in December, they were doing really well with their English!

So I was happy to be able to assist in their English learning while rpng. We have since connected outside RPR and they are working on teaching me some French!

The thing is I nearly bailed out early as it being too hard. I’m glad I didn’t.

On another case, I have ended a couple RPs and have had a couple ended with me after a short run as the styles were not comparable.

I'm glad you had that lovely experience! I actually have a similar thing where I am writing with a couple people who do not speak English as a first language. I think it's great when people do have the patience to help teach someone when it comes to something like that - that is less of a 'writing doesn't click' and more of a language barrier issue of course and if someone is willing to help and has fun continuing, that's all that matters.

even if i have an exact reason, i usually don't let others know because i don't want it to seem like "i'm up here on my high horse and you're just not good enough to roleplay with me". because it's just a hobby and it's fine for everybody to have requirements! if i can't put a finger on what the problem is, i don't feel bad about it; because i've had partners that were excellent writers but their style just didn't mesh well with mine so i think it makes perfect sense

I've definitely had this happen a few times, and it can be incredibly awkward, but I feel like as with most aspects of a social hobby, it boils down to communication. It's always better in the long run to address the elephant in the room as soon as possible. If you don't speak up about your feeling of ill ease, it'll just build until you feel anxious and frustrated, or worse, resentful of the other person. No one likes to hear that their writing isn't engaging, but RP is a kind of partnership, and those only work when both sides are able to talk things out.

I think we've all been there, for me it's about being kind with a mixture of a white lie and a pinch of honesty.

"I'm really sorry, I'm struggling to write posts. I think I'm going through a mind block at the moment, I really appreciate you taking the time to write with me....blahblah."

From personal experience and horror stories from others I've found that honesty can end badly, either the person goes on the defensive or it hurts confidence in their writing ability. Find a happy medium, consider their feelings in how you word it. Ultimately though, communication is key, it's tough but worthwhile ♡

Yes it is. I only brought it up because my initial reaction was it being a ‘not-clicking’ issue.

I had a couple RPs here early on where as good as the other writer was it became clear we weren’t ‘clicking’. One was ended by me, and another was ended by them.

I totally feel you, I've had the 'not clicking' end up being more so some other minor issue that was able to be worked out, and I've had the 'not clicking' be just completely different writing styles that don't work all that well together - at least for me.

It's all tough to judge, whether you should continue, try to continue - in the end it's very person-to-person.

Yes this has happened to me. They thought my writing wasn't up to their standards. After the role played ended 3 times I got unbefreinded.

This situation really does blow. I find myself in it in two separate instances right now. That's... literally just under half my current roleplay. Honestly, I just continue until the other person loses interest. Unfortunately, I've been roleplaying with one of these people since I first started roleplaying, and he doesn't seem disinterested in the slightest. Haha.

I don't know why I do this to myself. Perhaps it's because I never am the first one to act. I never reach out.

I'm going to bring this up again and ask if anyone has ever felt their writing wasn't going to 'click' based on the OOC planning? I've had it happen recently a few times. I can just tell after the OOC back-and-forth planning and talking writing styles that it just isn't going to work before it starts.

I usually give the benefit of the doubt as I don't want to prejudge, but sometimes I find my biases get in the way right from the beginning.

Yes and I've usually attempted to go ahead anyway. 9 times out of 10, I feel like I should have canned it when I got that initial inkling that we weren't a good match. Sometimes, the partner will ghost after a few posts. (Kind of a relief in that case. I don't have to be the bad guy. Obviously, they weren't feeling the warm and fuzzy vibes either.) Other times I gotta suck it up and end the RP if I feel like it's trending in an un-fun direction.

But every once in awhile, one surprises me and I end up getting more into the story after a page or two of RP and kinda feeling each other out. (I've got one of those now and very glad I didn't bail too soon!)