Forums » Smalltalk » SSDD Disorder

Full disclosure, this thread isn't about a real disorder. At least, not one recognized by any doctor I know.

SSDD - Same sh*t, different day. Zeus take the wheel, I am burnt out.

Every single morning I lay in bed after my alarm goes off, stare at the ceiling, and try to decide if I really need this job. My job is super easy, I work from home, and sit at a desk all day. However, it's the same thing every single day, the company is falling apart, and every friend or acquaintance I have with the company is on the same page - we're all looking for new jobs.

I'm wondering who out there is in the same position. At this point in my life, I want to do something that I actually enjoy for work. For years upon years I've been doing jobs just to pay the bills and I'm miserable! Am I going to retire miserable or actually enjoy myself? Is it ridiculous to want to take on something that might be lucrative enough to live off and risk it all just to be happy, or do I sit here like a good peon?

Help me, RPR! Who has chased their dreams? Who is chained to a desk? Who wants to just cause a worldwide RPR mutiny and run off together to an island?

I haven't been brave enough to completely strike out on my own, simply traded for a less sucky job. So I'm not exactly in this boat right now. I work from home, spend a good deal of time at my desk, and there are certainly moments that I roll my eyes at the folks on the other end of that email or that conference call. But overall, I mostly like my job.

But at previous jobs, I've been there! It sucks! Every day, I related more and more to the 'Dilbert' comic strip as I could see that how well I did my job wasn't going to save the company from falling by the wayside. If you're feeling that way, it's smart to be looking for a new job. Burn up your sick time while you're at it. (I coulda kicked myself for leaving my last job with like 3 weeks of unused sick days accrued.)

Good luck in the hunt and future ventures! Don't be the last rat off the sinking ship. Cause it just gets suckier as more co-workers bail, leaving you with even more work and less enjoyment.





(One small caution: When I started my current job, which is in the realm of clinical trial research, there was SO much to learn that I had zero mental energy left over for RP. I had to put it on hold for a solid 6 months.)

I, too, suffered from this. Let me give you a little insight to my story... Buckle up, folks. This is going to be a long one.

I went to college like most kids in first-world countries do. However, mommy dearest was pulling the strings. Not only did she change my degree (she made me sign a form allowing her to have access and to alter my documents) but she followed me to college... She constructed my class schedule to match hers. You wanna talk about a c*ck block? Well, this is the epitome of one.

When I moved out (finally), I was so far into this degree that I continued, but I decided to dual-major. I graduated a year later than I would have with two degrees. I decided that taking online classes from a school outside of my state for a degree I wouldn't get a job in was a great idea.

Then I fell pregnant. It was a bad pregnancy. I bled from week 8 onward. My waters broke at 17 weeks (in a rare event called preterm premature rupture of membranes, PPROM). The stress of this - as well as being put on mandatory bedrest - forced me to drop out. My son was born at 27 weeks and spent 110 days in the NICU.

Hospital bills (and a literal mental breakdown) forced us to move two hours away to live with my in-laws. Having a baby on oxygen and monitors and requiring even more medical intervention required me to get a job, and fast. Even though we paid no bills other than hospital, my husband's income wasn't cutting it. First, I looked in my two fields. Everybody wanted a bachelor's degree or at least five years of experience. I got nowhere. I had to settle on a sh*t auditing job at a behavioral facility.

I was "chained to a desk", as you put it. It was day in, day out, same bullsh*t and abuse every single shift. I woke up early, changed a dirty nappy, waved good-bye to my family, and worked the same tiring and monotonous job for two full years.

But you know what? I was able to break free. My son got off oxygen, and we were able to afford his bills once hubs got a raise. I packed my crap and left a job that valued humiliation tactics over positive feedback. Why? I'm going to pursue a degree that a) I chose and b) is a newer field, guaranteeing higher success in the job-finding department. I'm able to follow my dreams.

Why did I write a whole freaking book as a response to a forum thread? I wanted to share that, despite everything that's happened to me, I am able to spread my wings and pursue something I actually want. And you can, too. If you dream it, you can make it a reality (except dragons... sadly, they don't exist).

Ethys, since I am writing this on my iPhone commuting to work, I apologize for any misspelling or brevity. As a person who went through one hell of a burnout and then actually went on an island (they aren’t all they are cracked up to be either), I feel you. (Although I am slightly envious of you working from home also. )

Essentially, the problem doesn’t go away with changing jobs or places. Or rather, it does for a little while, but what we need is meaning. Speaking for myself, making friends on RPR and writing helped me immensely with avoiding a second burnout. It also rekindled that creative spark which makes me want to try new things, and make it happen. But I wouldn’t recommend dropping everything, but rather learning about new things you may like and prototyping your next move in small safe ways. From your profile and posts it sounds like you are a very creative person who wants to chase her dreams. What are those dreams?

I can't say that I don't love my job, but there are times where I really don't want to play tug of war with logic and drunk people.

To clarify! I work as a night auditor for an entertainment hotel. We've got bars galore, night clubs, liquor store, and we're smack dab in the heart of the downtown centre of a major tourist destination. It's a lot of fun some days, but there are other days where I really don't wanna tango with drunk logic. It is most definitely SSDD on the weekends, but while I am a desk worker, I find myself often quite entertained by the camera systems, the passing conversations in the halls, and overall the shenanigans that do end up being brought my way.

I can certainly understand the logic behind wanting to chase a dream, wanting to get away from desk duty, but for me it's a place I'm quite enjoying right now. I'd love to see other peoples opinions on this though.

This is an interesting topic!

What is kind of amusing is that I am following my dream. My dream since I was 11-13 has always been that I wanted to be an author.

I've been following/working on my dream since 2017 specifically, and yet I have a lot of SSDD moments. Sometimes this lasts for weeks. The only time I'm fairly free from the SSDD is when I'm writing the first draft for the most part but after that first draft each draft afterwards get more and more tiresome, more and more 'same bloody shit every bloody day' because my brain and my hands frankly get tired of editing, rewriting, deleting, adding, over and over and over for months upon months. By the time I am done with my current book and it's in it's final draft form, I'm going to be relieved beyond measure.

I love writing, and being an author is my dream, though at this point it's also my only option, and even I still have days and weeks where I am sick of it and need a break. I'm currently on a little break from it to try and get my motivation and mojo back.

SSDD tends to follow everyone, even people who dreamed of being famous singers, once they are famous, have been on 200 stages, dealt with tons of fans with no boundaries and manipulative managers, I'm sure even they deal with SSDD.

What helps me not get too over whelmed is taking a breather when I need to, doing nice things for myself, and RPR, and other hobbies. Without RPR I'd be so drained creatively because when I don't rp at all but try to write my books, I get sick of writing the same thing every day and eventually have no muse for it. With RPR I can reply to several rps when I wake up to get my brain juice flowing and then work on editing or writing my chapters more productively.

I couldn’t put it better myself. I love what I do, I love the ladies I care for with all my heart. But it has no opportunity for advancement, no hope of making more than I do now unless I work more hours and so little room for creativity! So I established a side business of my own and it really helps. It’s a little money in my pocket sure enough, but it’s also a dream of mine to own a Pagan shop someday and this is how I decided to start.

Is there anything like that you’re into? That you’re passionate about? I say just go after whatever you enjoy the very most and figure out how you can make money doing it, no matter how small your starting point is, just get started.

You're all wonderful.

Also, Juls, that strip is so similar to my current situation that I laughed until I cried and sent it to coworkers who reacted in much the same way. Pure lunacy, I tell you.

I definitely don't want to be the last one to jump the boat. There are a few things to take into consideration. The most important factor is, of course, income. I live in an area that is quite remote and employment opportunities tend to be few and far between. Most jobs in my area are minimum wage (which obviously does not cover bills) or fields that I'm not qualified for because I didn't finish college. I ended up getting pregnant - heyo, Penguin, I feel you - and dropped out because I wasn't a fan of my major anyway. Never went back. Oops.

I also agree with you, Dorian. I used to work in mental health and would hop from agency to agency thinking it would make things better. Spoiler alert: It didn't. My problem is that the things that rekindle my love for life and my creativity are the things that I want to just do all the time.

I want to be a writer.

I know, I know.. I am a writer. However, I don't currently get paid for it. I've got a few novels sitting in the editing phase but never have time to work on them, and I've never gotten around to querying agents. I love to edit and to beta-read for other writers, and would thoroughly enjoy doing that for income. I've also been looking into freelancing and contracting on a job-by-job basis to write specified articles, blog posts, social media moderation, that sort of thing.

I just want to be a word nerd 24/7.

Glad it could make you laugh. I used to think Dilbert was the dumbest comic strip. Now, unfortunately, I understand the humor in it all too well.

So, I'm in communications/media relations and I spend about 80 percent of my working day writing, planning out what I'm going to write, or editing other people's work. I'm paid to write everything from simple Facebook posts to op-eds for media outlets, but the core of my job involves ensuring media and social media lift up my organization's work.

I can't speak for fiction writing, because I've never attempted it (Although that did cross my mind). It took some time to get to where I am now. I spent several years as a journalist. Then I went on to social services and a bit of teaching, before realizing how much I missed writing. So I took on political advocacy work where I could write a little, and eventually my organization created a communications position for me.

If you're okay writing non-fiction, freelancing or contract work might be the way to go. And that doesn't mean giving up on fiction completely; a lot of fiction writers started out writing non-fiction. It's a good way to to further hone your writing as you'll learn how to work under deadline and to produce stuff for public consumption.

It may be tough at first to get freelance work if you don't have samples/clips. But you may already have some?

^^^ perfect person to chime in on this. He really did find a way to make his dream come true ...