Forums » Smalltalk » New Name

So I thought about putting this in Introductions, but I'm not everyone checks there and, well... I'm neither new nor returning from a break.

And I'd just gone and posted a thing about how my name is spelt, too.

Ahem.

I am the player formerly known as Novalyyn. I'll be keeping the same avatar at least for awhile to help with the connection, and it's possible that I'll still just keep it forever. Iunno.

I've been going through a lot of figuring out my identity. More recently, I've actually been trying to really listen to myself and take myself more seriously on certain things that I had long either ignored or been ignorant of. Yeh, I'm 30 and still exploring my identity.

A recent focus has been gender. Initially, I wrote myself off as a cisgender woman who simply isn't concerned by pronouns. Then I finally actually met and started talking with openly trans folks (binary and non-binary both), and started gaining a better understanding of spectrums and such from hanging around asexual groups large enough to have significant trans/enby populations and I started digging a little more. Fastforward through some cases where I either misunderstood the details of an identity or the details shifted (a thing I have observed to happen at times), and just time processing my exploration... and I've at least determined that I am some sort of genderqueer, I think somewhere in the genderfluid range. (And while it does not match my emotional status/mental health in any way I've yet noticed, it does shift in a similar way in that, while in one state, another just doesn't really make any sense even if it's the last state I'd just been in.)

As I've really been coming to understand this, I've been trying to decide on a new, more gender-neutral name to go by offline. I'm getting closer to picking, but haven't quite yet. And thinking about it... I figured it really was about time I change the online one, too. (And that's easier, I don't have to worry about any sort of pragmatics!)

The name I'd been using, Novalyyn, was something I came up with making random gibberish to invent names way back in 7th grade. I've been carrying it around on and off for a long time now, long enough that I can't remember whether I shared it with a character or stole it from that character. I still think it's pretty, but it's acquired its own baggage through the years, and it feels distinctly feminine to me, and I decided it's time to let go.

The replacement, of course, has been thoroughly overthought. "Zelphyr" is meant to be a hybrid of "zephyr," as in wind, and "zilpher," a long-outdated spelling of "silver." Those who know me (or have at least scrolled through my profile before I removed my old "signature" from it) may know that I have a thing for silver. Aside from just thinking it's a really pretty metal and appreciating its medical qualities (yes, silver has legit antibacterial qualities that probably helped build it's evil-vanquishing reputation), back when I'd do those various quizzes people would invent, I'd frequently be associated with silver and greys. So many dragon quizzes listed me out as a silver dragon (except one that gave me white up until it added silver as a result). Silver really does feel like a part of my identity. Similarly, there is something right about wind; the flexibility, the variability, the freedom. Admittedly, I used to tie myself a lot more strongly to the moon (and that's not gone, just less pronounced), but there's still that aspect of change.

So... greetings anew from Zelphyr, the silver wind.

Oh! And if you're wondering what pronouns to use for me... honestly, at least for now, I encourage you to use random ones. I can only get so far trying to imagine them being used for me, and actually experiencing it might be helpful. There are times when none really feel right anyway, so... iunno, go with your gut, or practice using some neopronouns (maybe not the really fanciful ones, but stuff like xe and hir), or just apply a different one every time and see how much we can confuse everyone. If I eventually find a stable preference on how to handle pronouns, I'll let folks know.

Congrats on learning things about yourself. It's a hell of a journey, I myself didn't figure out much of myself until I was in my early to mid twenties. I don't see anything particularly wrong or strange about someone finding self-discovery at any age. So long as you choose to make the journey is what's most important.

Your new name is cool, and I dig the reference and change. I hope along the way you find what suits you most. I have factors my my gender depending on who I'm talking to, online or offline, and also on a day to almost hourly basis. It's a pretty interesting path for anyone for any gender or non-gender type. I've found labels that feel comfortable for the sake of societal norms, and ones that have been considered "improper" due to one view or another. My own gender identity isn't even allowed here on RPR as a writer choice due to some finding it to be "wrong" or "non-existent."

I hope you find what you're looking for, but from what I've read about you and just my "perspective" of you through reading your comments and discussions has always come off as androgynous and ambiguous. So, I'm interested to see where your journey takes you through your time here on RPR.

Yay, how exciting! Welcome back-ish??

I'm almost 30 and I'm still trying to figure myself out, too. I think that's kind of the way it is.

But I'm so happy for you.

I don't often comment on posts these days, but I felt the need to let you know Zelphyr, (Dope new name btw!) that whatever or whoever you choose to be, will still be loved and respected by many who care. And if people can't respect your beliefs or choices in life, then they're not worth your time.
I know we don't always see eye-to-eye, and may have differing views, but you'll still always have my respect and support should you need or want it

You too Hades... It makes me sad that you have to do that, or feel that way. You're both awesome people who deserve to be who you want to be.

Although I can understand since I keep myself and my gender private, since I have been harrassed due to my gender and beliefs. Also I really don't mind being a questionably gendered individual online lol.

Hi Zelphyr!! I love the new name, but I love that you find it more fitting for where you are in your life and how you've grown and changed!

I love your new name! It is quite lovely. 💕

I only figured out/decided I am a demigirl and not cisgender this year. Life is a journey and sexuality + gender are fluid.

So congrats on finding something comfortable (whether for now or forever it's valid.) 😊

Thank'ee, folks.

I envy the openness you are capable of Zelphyr, and quite like the meaning behind your new name. I wonder how we can all commonly misspell it now? 🤔

Well just Zephyr is something I'll be expecting to see in a lot of autocorrect.

And it's a very practiced openness in a place I have managed to become quite comfortable in.

My own phone had already made that suggestion in fact I've added the name to my phones list of known words, but due to my phones personality (yes it has personality) I expect it will conveniently forget this addition as it had with past words...really depends which word my phone likes best

Phones do seem to have a personality don’t they? Mine tries to auto correct proper words into common thumb-typing misspelled words!

I Like the new name Zeph! That is pretty deep what you shared. Motivated me to change mine as RPR is so much more than Middle Earth to me! My characters Halasian snd Durian represent the Dunedain Rangers for me now. ShadowWeaver is from the Glen Cook Black Company books. I was going to do ShadowMaster but it was taken. So I picked the lieutenant wizard’s name instead.

Full disclosure: I clapped my hands excitedly in real life when I saw this!

I'm so happy to see your progress on this journey. You're doing amazing, and I'm proud of you for being so open and communicative about such a personal part of your life. I'm sure this is going to help so many other people figure themselves out. Thanks Zelphyr!

Congratulations, Zelphyr! It suits you. I love the rationale behind the name. I never really thought about how cool silver is (both the metal and the color). I agree with what iolhantheX said and I can't think of a better way to say it, so--that.

Voldarian_Empire -- Lol "How we can commonly mispell it." True.

ShadowWeaver -- Woah. Still fits.