Forums » Smalltalk » Why do people do this?

I'm so curious about this and I never understood why this happens.

Why do people need specific requirements from the writer before they roleplay with them? I dont mean simple things like you must be 18/21, or be a certain gender. I mean like.. you cant have an anonymous character. Which makes no sense when you're in the adult forum. Obviously you're an adult. I see people say they want to know who they're writing with but so many still have their info and characters private and no extra info listed. Why does that matter?

Why does other things matter? I've had people I've roleplayed with for months. We started talking outside of roleplay and when they found out I was in a relationship irl, they dropped me like a hot potato. For years I stayed extremely private because it was so common for people to refuse to roleplay if I wasnt a single female with no children.

I cant get these people to answer me with why they do this and it drives me nuts. It's happening all over again. I can hardly ask anyone for a roleplay because they have some stupid (imo) requirement like that. It's annoying and depressing when people have no business knowing things past age/gender and even gender is pushing it for me.

RANT OVER

Because it's easy to fake your age at registration. Anon character is someone you don't know so you can't verify if they are adults for sure. Also not every 18+ roleplayer uses adult only forum but is centred around group/pm only so take that into equation. Solution to that could be conversation in pm's but even then that's not foolproof method.


As for other things I don't know why people are interested in personal info before rp such as relationship status or if they have kids.

I'm not here for dating but role-playing.
however I will welcome potential friends ^^

I've noticed a common belief among people that due to the anonymity of anon characters, they are simply more likely to ghost. Whether that's true or not is up for debate, personally I havent experienced ghosting any more or less with anons, it runs about the same. Others I've met simply arent comfortable with anonymously played characters for simple comfort reasons.

The relationship thing stands out to me as something that may deal with blending IC and OOC during rp, but honestly it's a little presumptuous of me to say. Truthfully, though, I can think of no other reason.

I posted a topic on here a while back about gender in rp partners, and to my surprise a lot of people had extremely poor experiences with one gender or the other (usually the opposite gender in a binary pair) and have since decided to play within their own gender only for other users. Personally I havent had any of these experiences, but reading some of the stories they told I could really understand their reluctance. On that note its possible they dont want to explain it over and over, or perhaps open an argument about whether or not that's fair with you. I'm not claiming you'd do that, but human nature instructs us to protect ourselves, particularly from things that have bitten us before.

Hopefully this helps with some insight into the possibly why's....really a lot of big presumptions here based on experiences I've heard from others, so it very well may not be true in all (or any) case, including your own. Just thought this might help you to understand the other side of the coin

That actually helps a lot. I actually feel a little better now. I've experienced a lot of people mixing ic with ooc so if those questions are a way to help weed those people out then I can say bullet dodged.

I think the anonymous character bothers me the most. I cant make certain characters public because of certain people harassing me. I feel like I'm losing out on good stories. I've even messaged people with a link to the other account and still get turned down because they arent connected.

Still. I saw one person advertise and say the writer needed to meet all these requirements. I look on his profile and they had nothing at all. How can you ask for something if you're not willing to give the same? 🙄

Ob yeah, the gender thing I sort of understand now. Personally, I dont get along with women in generally. Not many mesh well with my personality (which is why I have a few intense haters). I guess I just focus more on the roleplay than the people behind the screen cuz I'm not interested in the writer. Just what your mind can put out 😂

True. I didnt think of it like that. But if you see someone posting in the adult section I'd think someone would be a little lenient since majority of people are going to be legal anyway.

And exactly! People are here to roleplay. If you're not advertising that you want to date a fellow roleplayer then why does that stuff matter? These people dont even want to be friends. Being friends with someone you're writing with can make things so much better. At least that's been my experience. I'm more willing to do multiple stories with someone if we get to be friends.

Frankly I don't understand either. I prefer being anonymous while roleplaying because I play both male and female characters. I feel people judge me as a woman playing a man due to how poorly some people portray opposite genders from player to character. I however, have never had any complaints, I have played males more frequently then females in my 20 years of RP and people say I do a bang up job with it. In fact I often feel more comfortable playing a male character despite being straight/cis woman.

My personal take on the age bit.. is it's on them if they fake their age. If they want to jump through hoops like that.. there isn't much that can be done and there isn't much to prove it one way or the other.

It's not like main profiles have tons of information to "get to know" players.. not everyone posts it. I often find the less I know about a player's personal life the better and visa versa.

I have honestly considered putting all my characters as Anon just for that extra seperation.

If people don't want to Roleplay with you because you choose privacy then I wouldn't be upset about it. I don't want to Roleplay with people who can't respect a desire to remain anonymous or keep their privacy.. it's just rude to require that. IMHO

In my experience, people who must know these things tend to be the people that group together and create the community cesspools.
In all the communities I've been in, the stagnation of it always begins with those people, they tend to make 'standards' that need to be met, the people that don't meet those standards get ostracized and put to the sidelines, while the main group moves on.

''I often find the less I know about a player's personal life the better and visa versa.''
Also, this. Many times this.
Main reason why I'm on these platforms. Since I can't really get into a campaign if I know the people I'm with.

I personally don't really like RPing with anon characters of which have no main profile directly attached to. It's partially because of ghosting and partially just because it's not what I'm comfortable with. There's only one anon character I'm rping with now that I don't know the writers profile, and it hasn't been an issue but even with the experience I generally am just more at ease and comfortable when I know the writers profile.

That said, I don't ask people to show me their profiles or disrespect their anonymity. I don't think me saying 'I'm sorry I'm not comfortable rping with an anon character, but thank you for you interest' is disrespectful at all.

They're more comfortable writing anon and I'm more comfortable writing with someone who isn't, and we both just move on respecting each others wishes.

When it comes to the whole 'in a relationship' thing, that is definitely not a normal thing and is strange for someone to do and is probably about weird OOC stuff that is not approved of.

When it comes to knowing things about RP partners, I don't butt into peoples lives when they don't want to share, or force anyone to give age, gender, personal info, but I will say for me personally most of my RP partners and I do know this stuff about each others and have good friendships outside of the RP that grow over time.

The partners I've had the longest, we are almost always talking, we vent about life, we share fun times, some of them I talk on the phone with/skype with, play games with, commission art from each other, help each other out in rough times, and have even sent mail to! I'm sending someone who has been my RP partner and friend for a while Christmas cookies this year!

But that is what I am comfortable with, and how it usually works for me. I am a very social and friendly person and since I'm generally stuck inside my house, and most of my interests reside within the internet, and my career does really, most of the friends I have met have been online.

My best friend I met 3 years ago because of a show fandom, and have spoken on the phone almost every night for the last 2 1/2 years, sent each other birthday and christmas presents, valentines day cards, and are even planning on creating our own publishing company to publish our books through.

Some people like me, are very open and enjoy being able to share and be super close to their RP partners and become good friends, sometimes even feel like family!

Others are uncomfortable with even the idea of that.

Both are okay, both are good.

Does it mean some people won't really mesh well together and struggle to RP together? Yeah, unfortunately, but that's the case with many things.

example: I prefer multi-para RP and this means there's a lot of people who write less but are creative and good writers still, that I simply don't mesh well with based on each others preferences.

Sorry this was long winded and included some other things, I just thought I'd tip in!

It's one thing to force someone to reveal their profile, or force someone to be your friend, force someone to write a certain way. Force them to move out of their comfort zone.

It's an entirely different thing to have preferences and comforts and respectfully decline someone if their preference and comfort doesn't fit with your preference and comfort.

It can definitely be frustrating for both sides, during slow and difficult times when people on opposite ends of the comfort and preference spectrum feel like they can't find anyone who will write with them.