Though not really one to like to manipulate emotions to reach his goals, Hóng could not deny the advantages of his species. A non-domestic animal many humans never get the chance to even see close-up aside from inside zoos, let alone touch. It was something that gave him an edge over the contest between cats, dogs and other domestic animals for human attention. And despite his human-level intelligence, he could not deny the enjoyment he could gain from a good scratch. A mutually beneficial scenario.
Hóng's movements stopped being humanly-adjacent and slipped into a more animalistic pattern as he moved his head around to allow access to the areas of his body that was interested in being scratched. Depending on Kita's movements, those areas were primarily behind his ears and under his chin, though he wasn't averse to any back scratches or belly rubs should they have come his way. It was so distracting, however, that almost forgot to speak; but after clearing his throat, he managed to retain enough conscious focus to reply.
"Raccoons," he said. After all had been said by both of those speaking to him in this conversational triangle. Thus, it sounded out-of-context, and the tonality more akin to a cuss than an answer. Until he clarified, of course. "Trash pandas are raccoons. I don't want to be speciesist, but... if humans consider them vermin, I don't want to be painted with the same brush, ok?" Somehow he managed to stand more proudly, despite contorting his body for scritches. "I am Hóng. Can't exactly remember why I chose that name, but it means 'red'... more or less... so I guess it fits. You can call me 'panda' if you like, but only if I could call you 'human'." He winked. "As for what I eat... I can eat a lot of things, but if you happen to have any bamboo around, I'd appreciate that - not to sound stereotypical, but it's my favourite. There's a reason my kind eat that stuff even though there's better food around, after all. If not, fruit will be fine. Or sugar-free candy. I don't know why, but I just love those artificial sweeteners they use. Honestly though, even leaves will do."
Hóng was honestly enjoying the opportunity to talk. It wasn't something he got to do as often as he wanted, what with the usual human reaction to even seeing a red panda being one of caution (as well as surprise and cooing of course), let alone hearing it speak. Two things he wanted to avoid for as long as possible - zoos and television. Fame and captivity. Both put real limits on a guy's freedom.
Hóng's movements stopped being humanly-adjacent and slipped into a more animalistic pattern as he moved his head around to allow access to the areas of his body that was interested in being scratched. Depending on Kita's movements, those areas were primarily behind his ears and under his chin, though he wasn't averse to any back scratches or belly rubs should they have come his way. It was so distracting, however, that almost forgot to speak; but after clearing his throat, he managed to retain enough conscious focus to reply.
"Raccoons," he said. After all had been said by both of those speaking to him in this conversational triangle. Thus, it sounded out-of-context, and the tonality more akin to a cuss than an answer. Until he clarified, of course. "Trash pandas are raccoons. I don't want to be speciesist, but... if humans consider them vermin, I don't want to be painted with the same brush, ok?" Somehow he managed to stand more proudly, despite contorting his body for scritches. "I am Hóng. Can't exactly remember why I chose that name, but it means 'red'... more or less... so I guess it fits. You can call me 'panda' if you like, but only if I could call you 'human'." He winked. "As for what I eat... I can eat a lot of things, but if you happen to have any bamboo around, I'd appreciate that - not to sound stereotypical, but it's my favourite. There's a reason my kind eat that stuff even though there's better food around, after all. If not, fruit will be fine. Or sugar-free candy. I don't know why, but I just love those artificial sweeteners they use. Honestly though, even leaves will do."
Hóng was honestly enjoying the opportunity to talk. It wasn't something he got to do as often as he wanted, what with the usual human reaction to even seeing a red panda being one of caution (as well as surprise and cooing of course), let alone hearing it speak. Two things he wanted to avoid for as long as possible - zoos and television. Fame and captivity. Both put real limits on a guy's freedom.
”Nope, you’re good.” The officer bluntly, but cheerfully confirmed as the ‘coffee expert’ quietly debated their sanity. She wasn’t about to even try to explain any of this. It was better just to acknowledge that they were, in fact, both still occupying the same plane of reality.
Naturally, it took Kita a beat to compute that the panda’s non sequitur was actually an answer to her question from a moment before. ”Oh~! I got bit by a raccoon once!” She chirped excitedly, as though merely having something to contribute to the conversation was enough to keep her happy...Regardless of the implications toward her own airheadedness. At least she was present enough not to admit that she had, in fact, thought that the little guy was some kind of weird raccoon - a distinct lack of zoological knowledge being one of the many effects of a life spent between ’thug life’ and ’law enforcement’. That, and her questionable social conduct - and so did not have to admit that if her assumption had been right, she’d have just made the same mistake again and likely gotten bitten.
She just nodded rapidly at the critter’s insistence that he was not to be lumped in with those lesser creatures - fine by her if it meant she didn’t need stitches, finger-splints and rabies vaccines. ”Oh, you are definitely not vermin. No sir” She assured him blindly, as though she were suddenly an expert on the topic. At no point would she cease the friendly affection, giving him the full treatment until such time as he indicated he’d had enough. ”It does fit!” She concurred a moment later, ”I’m Kita- I don’t think it actually means anything but I don’t actually know if I’ve ever checked-...Sugar free- that’s aspartame, right? That stuff gives me headaches- Oh and I can pick up Hóng’s bill or tab or whatever by the way-” Kita went on, apparently talking about three things at once as she craned her neck to glance up toward the proprietor. Sure, this person didn’t look like the type to insist on full-payment-rendered of a piece of fruit for a friendly (talking) animal, but she figured it was the right thing to say.
Naturally, it took Kita a beat to compute that the panda’s non sequitur was actually an answer to her question from a moment before. ”Oh~! I got bit by a raccoon once!” She chirped excitedly, as though merely having something to contribute to the conversation was enough to keep her happy...Regardless of the implications toward her own airheadedness. At least she was present enough not to admit that she had, in fact, thought that the little guy was some kind of weird raccoon - a distinct lack of zoological knowledge being one of the many effects of a life spent between ’thug life’ and ’law enforcement’. That, and her questionable social conduct - and so did not have to admit that if her assumption had been right, she’d have just made the same mistake again and likely gotten bitten.
She just nodded rapidly at the critter’s insistence that he was not to be lumped in with those lesser creatures - fine by her if it meant she didn’t need stitches, finger-splints and rabies vaccines. ”Oh, you are definitely not vermin. No sir” She assured him blindly, as though she were suddenly an expert on the topic. At no point would she cease the friendly affection, giving him the full treatment until such time as he indicated he’d had enough. ”It does fit!” She concurred a moment later, ”I’m Kita- I don’t think it actually means anything but I don’t actually know if I’ve ever checked-...Sugar free- that’s aspartame, right? That stuff gives me headaches- Oh and I can pick up Hóng’s bill or tab or whatever by the way-” Kita went on, apparently talking about three things at once as she craned her neck to glance up toward the proprietor. Sure, this person didn’t look like the type to insist on full-payment-rendered of a piece of fruit for a friendly (talking) animal, but she figured it was the right thing to say.
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