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Elwin
Just everyone's sad solider grandma
- Just ur casual farm-raised, no brain, big gay, broad as a barn, can bench a cow bimbo
-Trained by a retired knight, worked as a mercenary for a while, has a strong but somewhat gray sense of justice
-Accidentally got the daughter of very powerful man pregnant (she's trans & very lesbian //wheeze) and got arrested for that by basically the Pope of her own religion.
-Was almost executed but the Knight dues ex machina'd and saved her life, only instead she was forced to become a sort of indentured servant to The Church.Jpeg and is kept away from her effectively orphaned daughter who is raised (very well!! dw moriah is okay) by the Church.
-Accidentally falls in line with a super rich and powerful mage from another country and a bunch of other gremlins who she comes to call her lover (& hopefully wife) and their just absolutely terrible gremlin family


Phillippa Heloise of Cape Swell
elwin's horrible trash gremlin accidental daughter
-too poor to afford an actual last name, too cool to go without one
-prodigy child but with a lot of trauma
-comes from a country that runs on near total anarchy and her village was pillaged by bandits and she was one of few to survive
-this one kid is really angry she got to live while he was basically marked and released to be hunted down by the bandits so he helps them hunt her down instead (dw she's fine, she even gets a cool bro whose a half-orc whose parents ticked off the SAME bandits when he was a baby so they killed his parents and marked him to be hunted down)
-Everyone's baby sister (or baby @ elwin)
-As far as everyone's concerned she's like 12
-"getting turnt at the tavern lol" "aint u like 12" "i'm 24" "yeah ok"
- she's old enough to murder but not old enough to drink
- asks philosophical and uncomfortable questions JUST to make everyone uncomfortable


Aldous The Blythe
everyone's big cool teddy bear sibling
-Might be too poor to have a last name, might not be, his mother did everything she could to not talk talk to him and his bro
-Enby Icon, Supreme Chaotic Gay Bard friend and the absolute best at self-care
-was born in a 'condemned city' which basically means he also grew up in anarchy and extreme poverty
-Used to do a lot of crime with his twin brother but then a guy working with a bards college caught him singing and was like 'hey u wanna learn to read and how to play the guitar : 0' and aldous was like 'nah i dont wanna leave my brother' and aldrich was like 'yeah like i'm gonna let me stop you from learning how to read, loser PEACE ily *Does a cool flip and disappears*'
-Left the bard college after he got all educated up and started the search for his brother
- but they were born in a country that hates mages and he and his brother are mages
- his brother got caught and blew up a whole building to escape
- his brother and him have the same face (cus they're identical)
- aldous was arrested and tortured, and then he did a cool flip and escaped the country
- now he plays show tunes and looks for his brother with about 0 information on where he is except rumors
- (he's so sad)
- also he dates a Demon Prince (the demon prince of petty chaos and violent reclamation to be exact) (don't worry its actually a great relationship except everyone hates Elric so much)
- uses demon boyfriend ex machina a lot and that's cool
- gets his heart broken really hard bc the demon prince of petty chaos is HORRIBLE at communicating the fact that they have to break up bc demon prince has been risking half of Hell to date this cute bard he met in the woods
- dw aldous is fine he has a good support system and a lot of friends & also his brother by the end of it so