Skip to main content

Forums » RP Discussion » Opinion Wanted

Well. Here it is. 3:40 am for me. Woo hoo. Yeah anyways. I want a bit of critiquing. As most Of ya know I've been working on my main character Kyle for forever and a day. And I've finally finished him on paper and am in the process of putting the final copy here on the site.if a few of you guys could swing by and tell me what ya think so far, it'd be much appreciated. Thanks.
The link doesn't work for me =p
Hurricane_Lance Topic Starter

Ignore the link. Link is caused by half asleep me. One moment and i'll place a proper one. Ok. Here we go. proper linkage.
Sanne Moderator

I didn't fully read through it yet, but I do have a suggestion!

Right now it's one full wall of text, making it hard for me to find something quickly. Perhaps it's an idea to space sections apart? Right now it's this:
Quote:
Current Location: TatZ N ThingZ
Win Loss Streak: 0/0/0 (Started
Nicknames: Akasuna no Tenshi, Eien Tenshi
Quotes: "True Strength comes not from the mucles one sees but from the heart. The willingness to do whatever it takes to protect those they care for and ove. Even at the cost of their own lives. That is true strength."
Tattoos:
Bloodwalker Symbol: Located on the inside of his left forearm, it's a simple design that consists of a cross with twim intertwined diamonds. It's also the symbol he draws in the air to trigger the effect of his bloodwalker ring. The tattoo will glow red when he does so. He can also run his blood over the tattoo for the same effect. (See Special Item: Bloodwalker Ring)
Fire Symbol: Located on his right shoulder, it's just simply the japanese kanji for fire.
Saggitarius: Located on his left shoulder, it is the two character kanji that translates as Saggitarius. His zodiac sign.
Elemental Cross: A six piece tattoo located on his right shoulder blade. It has a cross base piece with 5 Japanese kanji around it. The kanji meanings are Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water on the outside with the one in the center meaning Death.

I would be able to find the tattoos section quicker if it was spaced like this:
Quote:
Current Location: TatZ N ThingZ
Win Loss Streak: 0/0/0 (Started
Nicknames: Akasuna no Tenshi, Eien Tenshi
Quotes: "True Strength comes not from the mucles one sees but from the heart. The willingness to do whatever it takes to protect those they care for and ove. Even at the cost of their own lives. That is true strength."


Tattoos:
Bloodwalker Symbol: Located on the inside of his left forearm, it's a simple design that consists of a cross with twim intertwined diamonds. It's also the symbol he draws in the air to trigger the effect of his bloodwalker ring. The tattoo will glow red when he does so. He can also run his blood over the tattoo for the same effect. (See Special Item: Bloodwalker Ring)
Fire Symbol: Located on his right shoulder, it's just simply the japanese kanji for fire.
Saggitarius: Located on his left shoulder, it is the two character kanji that translates as Saggitarius. His zodiac sign.
Elemental Cross: A six piece tattoo located on his right shoulder blade. It has a cross base piece with 5 Japanese kanji around it. The kanji meanings are Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water on the outside with the one in the center meaning Death.

It's a very interesting read so far though!
Hurricane_Lance Topic Starter

Well that's understandable but that'll be kinda hard for me to do as I'm using the basic info widgit for basically everything except the back story and a few small things after the back story. When I got it all up I'll see what I can do though.
Yuka

Info widgit or the text one? Because all it takes to space out a basic text widgit is a few taps of the key to go to another line.
Sanne Moderator

Lance2011 wrote:
Well that's understandable but that'll be kinda hard for me to do as I'm using the basic info widgit for basically everything except the back story and a few small things after the back story. When I got it all up I'll see what I can do though.

Ooh I see. Well what you could do is move an empty slot from the info widget between the paragraphs and fill each or just the first field with some dashes ----

It will separate the paragraphs for you :)
Hurricane_Lance Topic Starter

Good point. I shall investigate when I am not at work. Heh.

You are on: Forums » RP Discussion » Opinion Wanted

Moderators: Mina, Keke, Cass, Claine, Sanne, Dragonfire, Ilmarinen, Darth_Angelus