Okay, this isn't an RP ad but I'd like to get some opinions on this Campaign Hook. It's getting submitted and I'd like to get some other eyes on it before I put it out there. Please feel free to give constructive criticism. This is also my first take at a Campaign so also keep that in mind. Most likely I won't be adding too much onto it but let me know how you feel.
Campaign Hook:
There was nothing left to be done. The empire left in shambles. Every year it occurs again and again. On the 10th day of the year, hellish beings take over, slaughtering ¼ of the kingdom of Bilona, leaving it in complete ruin. All because of a curse constantly looming over the dwelling of thousands. In the past, a group of heroes that rose and went to battle with the Dwellers, men who gave up their souls to the fiery depths to gain power. This was done so the underworld could gain a foothold in the overworld. After those heroes broke down the forces of hell, the curse was placed and remained over the nation. Villages far and wide have been targeted over and over by the dead. This is the last year and the final safeguard for the village of Windvale. If this village is taken down then the center of the kingdom will be overthrown and there will be no more hope for Bilona. A band of new heroes decides to take a stand to fight against the tyrannous devilry and give their kingdom a chance for a bright future.
Campaign Hook:
There was nothing left to be done. The empire left in shambles. Every year it occurs again and again. On the 10th day of the year, hellish beings take over, slaughtering ¼ of the kingdom of Bilona, leaving it in complete ruin. All because of a curse constantly looming over the dwelling of thousands. In the past, a group of heroes that rose and went to battle with the Dwellers, men who gave up their souls to the fiery depths to gain power. This was done so the underworld could gain a foothold in the overworld. After those heroes broke down the forces of hell, the curse was placed and remained over the nation. Villages far and wide have been targeted over and over by the dead. This is the last year and the final safeguard for the village of Windvale. If this village is taken down then the center of the kingdom will be overthrown and there will be no more hope for Bilona. A band of new heroes decides to take a stand to fight against the tyrannous devilry and give their kingdom a chance for a bright future.
I think it's a really intriguing plot, right off! So the story itself is very detailed, but I'm wondering if the order or wording would benefit editing. The reason I mention this is because in my experience, when a roleplay prompt begins with heavy history, players are more likely to simply scan over it, rather than give proposals a full read. Whereas if you proposed the plot with something enticing to invite excitement to leave players eager for more, they're more likely to want to join the story.
For example, it could begin with how a band of heros/fighters are called upon in the falling kingdom's time of great need, rising together to ward off Hellbound creatures after their cursed spree and destruction.
This immediately summarizes and showcases the plot you're after while allowing you to then dive into the history, or whatever else you'd like.
For example, it could begin with how a band of heros/fighters are called upon in the falling kingdom's time of great need, rising together to ward off Hellbound creatures after their cursed spree and destruction.
This immediately summarizes and showcases the plot you're after while allowing you to then dive into the history, or whatever else you'd like.
..
Robyn wrote:
I think it's a really intriguing plot, right off! So the story itself is very detailed, but I'm wondering if the order or wording would benefit editing. The reason I mention this is because in my experience, when a roleplay prompt begins with heavy history, players are more likely to simply scan over it, rather than give proposals a full read. Whereas if you proposed the plot with something enticing to invite excitement to leave players eager for more, they're more likely to want to join the story.
For example, it could begin with how a band of heros/fighters are called upon in the falling kingdom's time of great need, rising together to ward off Hellbound creatures after their cursed spree and destruction.
This immediately summarizes and showcases the plot you're after while allowing you to then dive into the history, or whatever else you'd like.
For example, it could begin with how a band of heros/fighters are called upon in the falling kingdom's time of great need, rising together to ward off Hellbound creatures after their cursed spree and destruction.
This immediately summarizes and showcases the plot you're after while allowing you to then dive into the history, or whatever else you'd like.
That actually works really well I hadn't thought of that. Thanks!
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