Skip to main content

Forums » Smalltalk » When you want to give up, what do you do?

MasterWinter

Hello all, Winter here.

So. Last time I had a serious post, concerning my personal life, was back in Sept. of last year when my mom was dying and then passed away.

As some of you may or may not know, I'm now in GA living with grandparents from my "father's" side. Don't ask about the quotes around the word father, long story and not important.

My grandmother is...accident prone. More so than me. I don't know what it is she has, but basically it's why she's on in home hospice, as she can basically die at any time.

Here's a bit about my grandmother: She's VERY stubborn and VERY independent. So much so that when she has to be in a hospital bed at home, she got worse depression wise, and thought it was the end of the line for her.

Now. I by no means am saying she doesn't have a right to feel as she does, becaue of her situation. I'm just giving you guys an idea what's going on with her.

This past Thursday, March 12h, my gran fell in her bedroom. She broke 4 toes. Nothing can be done for her sadly, as she's on in home hospice care.

Today, my gran has fallen twice. The second fall she's injured her back.

These falls have happened on there own, as she has not much balance or strength, and she's highly stubborn as well as independent, thus doesn't like asking for help. So she's putting herself at risk for the sake of her wanting to be independent, and giving myself, my cousin, her husband, and her bff near constant heart attacks it seems.

When my grandfather gets home, most likely we will have to discuss what to do. Because it's gotten to where she won't listen to anyone (she won't even listen to nurses, and she was one), and she just keeps pushing herself.

Because I've been through two stressful issues, similar in their own way, back in CA before coming here to GA, I've gotten more stressed. And nothing anyone says seems to get through to gran. And I just feel like giving up in general.

I've been taking care of people in rl for so long, trying to tend to myself in between. Trying to get help for myself now. And trying to be a caregiver again, but not having any luck. I just am getting to where instead of myself getting better, I'm just like: Let's just give up it's so much easier!

But I know that in the long run, it won't do any good.

Any: Thoughts, suggestions, recommendations, anything really?
Those are some heavy issues. I can't think of any unique advice but I want to say I sympathize and to offer you lots of hugs. I guess when we feel that way, it might mean we need rest ourselves. And to choose our battles wisely, instead of trying to do, or feel responsible for, everything. Realizing and respecting your own limitations in a given situation is not the same as giving up, and it can prevent burnout. Hope things level out for you and everyone involved. Responsibilities being clearly delegated to each person can help, such as hours one is "on duty." *Hugs*
MasterWinter Topic Starter

Abigail's post
Abigail_Austin wrote:
Those are some heavy issues. I can't think of any unique advice but I want to say I sympathize and to offer you lots of hugs. I guess when we feel that way, it might mean we need rest ourselves. And to choose our battles wisely, instead of trying to do, or feel responsible for, everything. Realizing and respecting your own limitations in a given situation is not the same as giving up, and it can prevent burnout. Hope things level out for you and everyone involved. Responsibilities being clearly delegated to each person can help, such as hours one is "on duty." *Hugs*


-hugs- Just that for a start is helpful, thank you.

Part of the thing is once again, this kind of thing is dropped on me. I mean I went from being in the situation I was in back in CA, having been dealing with the loss of my mom, then I come to GA and it's like: Oh! Another responsible adult.

I forgot to mention, and should do so, that my cousin who lives here (and has long before I moved here) is 14 and recently is trying to make it sound like she's had it so much worse than she really has. I mean in the sense that if what she was telling me was true, I don't know how or why she's not in foster care.

Now please don't get me wrong, I honestly don't mind helping gran out. It's just when my grandpa is at work, the care for gran is mostly on me due to how cousin is. I'm doing what I can to pick my battles, and still try to get help for myself.

You are on: Forums » Smalltalk » When you want to give up, what do you do?

Moderators: Mina, Keke, Cass, Claine, Sanne, Dragonfire, Ilmarinen, Darth_Angelus