Forums » Smalltalk » Gender Identity in RL and RP

Okay, after another incident of someone assuming I am male IRL, it got me thinking about gender identity both in real life and in the role play world.

As far as my own personal gender goes, I have a gender flux. I act more masculine and dress myself accordingly most of the time. I also have days were I want to be a woman and wear make-up and prance around in a pretty dress. Those days are far and few between, but honestly, I am happier with a somewhat ambiguous gender - and I don't care that my physical sex doesn't match what I feel most of the time.

In roleplay, though, I play female characters usually. Sometimes I play males, and once in a while I play characters who are gender neutral. I also play transgendered characters and transexual characters. I play characters who have no gender or sex. I like playing all genders of the rainbow because gender is a fascinating thing to me.

So, I'm just wondering is: What do you play and how does that compare to your real life gender identity?

I'm the same way IRL. I sorta bounce back and forth between feeling more masculine and dressing that way and feeling femanine and dressing that way. TBH I dress like a dude at work it seems, mainly because the clothes are comfortable and acceptable. All my girly stuff are cute lil frilly dresses or whatever.

As far as characters go, I can only really play females... IDK how. Sometimes I can play a male NPC or a character who appears male and is really female, but no actual male. I think because I just don't feel like a guy a lot of the time.

What's funny though is that I prefer playing with other male characters though, even though romance isn't something I outwardly seek. I'm not entirely too sure why. o-o IRL I'm really afraid of men, like petrified! Unless I know them... But I think maybe in character it's a chance for me to not really have to worry about not knowing someone's intentions. And I can play someone I'm not.

I DUNNO IT'S WEIRD.

I'm not sure if I'd consider myself masculine IRL/OoC as much as I'm just a very lazy dresser. T-shirts and jeans with flip-flops, that's how I like to roll.

On the flip side, I tend to play a lot of male characters, and people who meet me online through those characters for the first time usually* assume I'm also a guy.

It doesn't bother me-- it just goes to show folks apparently tend to base the person behind the character based on what they see in the character itself. Unless I'm spouting off about kittens or utterly adorable Pokemon, there's usually little reason for someone to assume I'm a female because I come off as neutral or pretty bro to folks. Just like there's no tonal context online and no facial expressions to elude to one's mood in their words**, there isn't always OoC context to my real gender.

Is there a reason I play guys more than gals? Not really. I don't strive to equalize my gender ratios. I just play whatever character type sounds fun; sneaky thief, paragon-wannabe paladin, tactless diplomat, ruthless emperor, boorish and crass noblewoman, &c.

*Excluding having heard about me from second-hand parties, like mutual friends
**Tangent point: Bold, italics, and underlines do very much read in certain ways when utilized; it's kind of the point of using them.

Back when PenGryphon2007 still played on here, I was genuinely surprised she was female because she didn't have any female characters when I first started to play with her. Made a jerk out of myself too over it.

And Copper, for the record, I like your male characters. They're always awesome.

I play female characters mostly. I come up with the same ratio of female/male characters in my notes, but just presently my female characters have found more use in rp.

Usually I'm still initially pegged as a Him online though. More so before I came on to RpR and set my gender on my profile to "female" but it's still happened a few times even so! Quite a few people actually thought I was a specific other male player on Furcadia.

I don't really know where I stand on that scale offline. I don't wear make-up, I don't do my hair, I don't own any girly heels, but I do have some that look rather charmingly industrial. I do make sure I have a decent hair cut, wear jewelry, and buy clothes that suit me as well.

That hardly pushes me into the girly though because I know plenty of guys who do the latter. Plenty who go on about adorable kitties as well, far more then I ever have or could do.

Occurs to me that we can't really gauge this stuff off real life, only stereotypes.

This is a pretty interesting topic, especially since I can contribute haha.

I've been confused as a female plenty of times in my years of roleplaying, and I usually tend to play female characters. Though I can play a male just as easily, I dunno.

I've actually always been that way when it comes to roleplayng/writing.I was writing a short story once years ago and had to go back and add some male characters because I'd made an all female cast.

In Video games I tend to play as the female if given the option. Most of my favorite fictional characters are female too.

Irl I have my moments I suppose, but I'm fairly masculine for the most part.

I play a pretty good mix of male/female/genderless/hermaphroditic characters online. In tabletop or LARP where I will be representing the character with my own voice or even my own body, I usually play female characters, although every once in a blue moon I will stick on fake facial hair and effect a deep voice if I have a particular character concept I really want to play and feel strongly it needs to be male for whatever reason.

IRL I identify as intensely female. As a small child I would throw unholy tantrums if my mother tried to dress me in anything but fancy party dresses. This didn't prevent me from going out in playing in the mud but I would NOT WEAR PANTS (although as a pre-teen I went through a phase where pink or purple leggings were acceptable).

I still only wear pants for specific costumes or when in a dance/yoga class, or leggings underneath a skirt. In fact my friends are so used to my silhouette being in dresses that once in college, I came out of my room in sweats after a yoga session and my roommate was so startled she almost pepper sprayed me because she didn't recognize me out of the corner of her eye at first -- she had never seen me in pants after a year of living with me.

I wear heels primarily, even in rough terrain and enjoy getting dolled up with a little makeup when I wake up in the morning, sometimes even if I'm not going to leave the house. Still doesn't stop me from running, jumping, climbing trees or eating red meat like I'm a dinosaur.

I find it slightly disconcerting to be mistaken for a man online unless I am RPing as one, but it almost never happens.

IRL, it's hard to say. I'd say I probably have about as may masculine traits as feminine, but not give a crap either way. I just try to toss anything like a gender identity out the window since it seems pointless, doing whatever feels natural regardless of whichever it favors. (Though the definitions were kind of ingrained in my head when growing up, so it's hard to do at times.)

Online, I don't care. I generally pick other, none or one at random when forced to pick a gender for signing up somewhere and usually never specify when asked. Both because I don't think it should matter, and because I find it interesting to see which people end up referring to me as considering the way I act.

In RP, I think I manage a balanced ratio of male to female pretty well, but I do admit I have a weakness for genderless, ambiguous or reversed(masculine women, feminine men) characters.

I'm pretty similar to Rosewood in the outernet. I do whatever is natural, not particularly concerned about how I express my gender. I do lean towards the "tomboy" lifestyle as most have told me (it must be my personality because I don gender neutral clothes), and I generally have a difficult time making friends with other females off the computer. I feel very relaxed and open to other males, however, and the majority of my friends are guys. It's not a conscious thing, of course, but it just kind of happens.

As for RP, I rarely RP a guy. Any male characters I've created come out as stiff and unnatural for some strange reason, and I'll stick with female characters just because it's comfortable and familiar. That said, I love RPing with other male characters even though I'm not actively seeking a romance, but there's no preference for gender when it comes to other characters. My characters themselves have always had a gender neutral personality, while some prefer to wear dresses and put on makeup (if they've been exposed to it) and others would rather go with functionality. For the most part, my characters are concerned with function over form with a few exceptions, and I'd say that mirrors my own choices in real life.

I wouldn't really know IRL, I often jokingly act flamboyant among my family and friends but being a joke you can't really count that.

Just like Nuttermonk however I come up with about the same ratio of female and male characters although I do play both. For the longest time I did only play female characters among which a unicorn and in those days I was often thought of as a girl.

To me, however, gender does not necessarily reflect an entire character. It's often only when I lean back and look over it all that I realise that I've only got female characters in this rp community, or only male characters in this other community.

Every man in existance acts jokingly flamboyant once in every while. Those who claim they don't are LIARS and smell of DECEIT!!

In real life, I'm a man... or at least I hope, or else I have to get rid of my beard. I'm actually lucky when it comes to dressing up. I don't pay any attention to what I wear. Most of my shirts are band merchandise anyway. They fit with anything!

When I roleplay, I usually create male characters. Let's say 80% of my characters are male. It's not that I'm uncomfortable or incapable of playing female characters, heck, two of my more popular characters are female. It just comes natural to me to create and play male characters.

I don't like having gender deciding how a character should act or be. I agree with most of you. I play my characters are people, not men and women.

I'm seconding Rynh. I only have one female character but for me male characters are easy to use where as female characters are much harder work.

Well lets see here, I have in over the years played characters male and female in RP. I noticed in that time male characters were easier to play for me as I am male irl. While female characters where a bit harder to play the role as well, as I guess inexperience with womanly things showed so it was harder to cover that up.

Now I honestly found it easier to play more femme male characters, as it was a mix of both worlds in a sense. Having a character that can dress however they like was rather freeing and much easier, as if there was some inexperience with a certain female subjects it was normal because the char was a male.

However, what I RP has nothing to do with my irl gender identity. I have a good wall between RP and IRL. so the two dont mix. No matter what I rp, it doesn't effect who I really am. I'm a guy irl as I have mentioned, I wear whatever I have laying around mostly due to not really caring what I wear, nor having the money to buy certain things I would like to wear. When it comes to more female things, I dont see any problem with that either. However it doesn't effect my "gender identity", I'm a guy no doubt about that, I dont think I'm anything else but that. If a guy wants to rp a female character or wear certain clothes rp/or/irl, that doesn't make him any less of a male.

Gender identity has really nothing to do with it, all that effects rping as something else is the inexperience with the subject matter, and how to cover up any inexperience when playing another role. If its male or female, it doesn't really matter.

At least thats how I see it.

I find it interesting that most people in this thread have explicitly commented that they express traditionally masculine and feminine traits but they don't really care--they just do what's natural. I think that's fairly run of the mill. Gender isn't a binary--it's a spectrum, and most people won't fall right at either end. I care immensely about how my gender is perceived. I am explicitly gender-ambiguous and it is a constant struggle to express this to friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers. People don't think it's a "real thing" or they hear me ask "gender-neutral pronouns, please!" and then just ignore it. I came out on Facebook a few months ago to wild applause and a million likes, but no one really changed their perception of me. People are really stubborn about this sort of thing.

As for RP, it's similar. My titular character is basically a self-insert, and is therefore also gender-neutral. Despite making this abundantly clear, and using NOTHING but gender-neutral pronouns, it is still referred to as male by the vast majority of people. Even by loving friends. People struggle with the spaces in between the binary.

Other than that, I have (or had) a lot of male and female characters that act in all different ways. I have feminine men and women, and masculine women and men. I like to mash things up and see what happens. However, it's interesting that though I've thought of playing a trans character, I never have. I think it's because it's a sort of painful issue that is related to my own, and I sort of just don't want to deal with it. Playing Heimdall is different; Heimdall is physically as well as mentally gender-neutral, so it's easier and more fun to deal with. If I played a trans character, it would just hit too close to home.

I myself identify as gender-fluid. I would like nothing more than to go out in shorts/jeans and a t-shirt most days, as a male, mind you, but because I live in such a small, close-knit and very Christian community, I usually avoid it unless I am going out with close friends. However, I personally feel rather masculine even though most people can apparently tell I am female biologically. But I don't care what pronouns people use for me. I prefer male ones, but she, they, it, he,her, him, any of them work for me.

I usually tend to play males. In fact, at the moment I only have one female character. I find it hard to relate to female characters, especially the ones people usually want to RP with [you know, either innocent/uppity types or promiscuous uhm. Harlots is a good word.] So the few characters I have made in the past tend to be on the more masculine side or at least more.. 'mature' I think, not really overloaded with lace and makeup and high-heels but dressing more in what they feel comfortable in, I suppose. And My women tend to be either masculine in gender or tip-toeing the edge of genderfluid

As for males, most of my men, admittedly, are rather super-macho types. They range in body types and personality but they tend to be a man's kind of man. Even the ones I play as bisexual or homosexual.

In the end, I make my characters who they are. Their gender and orientation is part of who they are, but never the focus.

I play almost all male characters. I really don't know what exactly started it, but once upon a time I played female characters. It was just sort of a slow transition, and I found I enjoyed masculine male characters more. I tend to dress probably a bit 'masculine' I mostly wear tshirts (about half the time it's a man's t-shirt, jeans and my harley boots. I like being female, I just don't particularly like wearing dresses and feminine things.

It's actually hard for me to stick with female characters now, perhaps because I've been sorta 'typecast' for so long. When I write, I tend to write an even mix of male and female characters, but for RP I'm almost always a male. And yes. A whole lot of people have assumed I'm male online. I actually find it kind of funny.

This is an interesting topic, as my distinguished, and favored, way of speaking often leads to misleading others into guessing my identity and gender. I cannot blame them, as most of my characters on the RPR are female, and yet, all of my characters that have been featured in my short stories are male.

I feel more feminine with my glasses on, and I know, that that may be a strange thing to say. My physical being does little to persuade others of my gender, but my grandmother's glasses are perfect for imposing the idea of me working at a library, and thus, a librarian('s aide). My occupation pushes others towards perceiving me as female, as it is a work-space stereotype. Truly, I burn my body in most of my favorite activities, as I enjoy sports of all kinds, dancing, and walking, as my summer budget usually does not include a lot for gas.

During the colder months, my hair grows long, and my winter outfits, with my glasses, are very feminine. But I have had experiences of people questioning my identity based on my very dear, and very sweet, Tannis, and her actions. There was a scene where a day at the tavern became very erotic when a certain panthress walked in, and after that scene, the player of the panthress questioned both my gender and sexuality, and I had to hop through a few hoops before I was able to convince her that I do not share my character's sexuality.

It is even worse when I receive more than a little harsh messages when roleplaying as certain character, or character types. My favorite setting, from when I was but a little girl, hosted one of the cruelest, darkest, back-stabbing families I have ever seen and they make the greatest neutral evil characters, as it is in their blood to be so. But the messages I receive often makes me alternate between characters, as, most everyone enjoys Tannis, but those that are stuck staring at the haunted, evil women/man, instead of their conceptual construction, often leave off-putting messages.

But when I play a hermaphrodite character, others are very uncertain as to whether my character has any gender what-so-ever. It is mostly due to the fact that they tend to keep their clothing on, unlike some characters that share the same gender classification.

I'm pretty comfortable in my own body, but that is because I'm pretty neutral towards gender. I'm not proud to be a woman nor embrace or accept any of the expectations society places on to me, but I also don't not want to be one. If I were a man one day I'm not sure it would bother me. I don't feel lacking or misplaced even if I think that the ability to shift between genders or be truly gender neutral would be rather excellent. I suppose gender flux would indeed be the word, although I shift between feminine and androgynous rather than all the way to male.

I feel I walk a fine line of androgyny. This is the way I am most comfortable. My behavior and mindset is a fine blend - as are my interests. I like style and clothes just as much as I like video games and getting my hands dirty. I like my nails and hair kept short and practical just as much as I'm highly OCD about being well groomed.

My clothing is a mixture (high disinterest in skirts and dresses and ugly shoes – jeans, boots, sneakers, and sandals please) , but for the most part form fitting - not because I'm choosing 'feminine', but because it accents the build of my body and I like looking good and feeling good. I'm a runner and a swimmer so that's just practical for me and looking fit and healthy makes me confident. I like my body and am not ashamed of it.

I find gender and sexuality large in large meaningless. I recognize that gender norms, societal roles, clothing expectations, trained behaviors, social opinions regarding sex, and the like are all constructs. They're lines drawn in the sand and categorizations in response to the 'us vs. them' mentality that so dominates the majority of our society. I find what little logic there is behind them vapid and faulty. Almost everything in nature represents a scale with far ends of duality, but for some reason humanity seeks to divide that beautiful reality rather than embrace the potentials of diversity. Far too many people equate the constructs of their current society to be what is 'right' and ignore the massive variations between cultures and eras. Primitive.

Absolutely none of the norms we accept today are universal and applying identity to clothing, appearance, and sexual habits is as absurd to me as judging someone over how much melanin they have in their skin pigment. I honestly can't comprehend the madness involved in thinking in such a deluded and closed way.

I get mistaken for male a lot online – occasionally offline depending on how I dress, which surprises me at times since my features are very female indeed. I sometimes just naturally fall into an appearance of uncertain gender some days.

My main characters do tend to be male and androgynous individuals, but I'm honestly uncertain if a reason exists for that or not. I certainly have a mixed bag otherwise, but rarely find the inspiration for female characters or machismo - that probably just has to do with my interests and what fits the character type. Generally characters just pop into my head and begin gradually piecing together! I have all sexualities under the rainbow.

I am female, and I am a lady! Though not always by other ladies' standards or expectancies, I've found. I love makeup and jewelry, good speech and manners, having my hair long and dressing well (though not necessarily in dresses or skirts) but on the flipside I also love to fight physically and build my strength with weight training and boxing, am a knife enthusiast, go fishing, smoke cigars and pipes and other sorts of things that are considered traditionally male activities and interests. I am often perceived as being dominant, masculine or assertive and can be very intimidating whether I mean it or not. Despite having my gender on display, I am often referred to as 'sir' online, or asked of my pronoun. Masculine mind, female body and mostly feminine presentation. I really have no idea what to call that, but I am not a fan of labeling myself or anyone else, anyway.

As for my characters, most of them are male and masculine, and those that are female are either masculine in physical appearance, behavior, or both. I find characters of very traditional female gender roles either very difficult or very boring to play. My most kind, gentle and submissive character is male while the strongest, most aggressive and domineering is female.

^^^