Forums » Smalltalk » Ghosting or not responding after you agree to rp.

This is one of the most annoying this to me. I get ghosted none stop. I already have problems finding Rp partners and then to ghost me or not respond for days after agreeing. When do I draw the line? How do I deal with them without being rude? Do I need to find another Rp site or something? My Rp list is so slow. I don’t bother updating my character lore or if I make a new oc I rarely use them cause of problems. So how do I handle this?

That seems to happen a lot here. I used to be somewhat dismayed by that happening, now I don’t put much into it and just toss my starters that never get a reply into a ‘dud’ folder in my PM box and don’t pay them any mind. Maybe I’ll use them later.

I’ve gotten kind of calloused to it over the last couple years here and sort of expect it as a norm and enjoy the gems that come along now and again.

True it just I find it rude. Thanks for the advice.

One possible reason for ghosting is they get banned or have restrictions put on their account to a certain degree and are not allowed to reply.

It like when do you check on them and when do you give up on it?

Personally, I hardly ever check in (the only exception being if myself and another have being playing for a loooong time). If they drift away before we've gotten a page or so into the RP, then I just assume we didn't click that well. I want RP to be fun for my writing partners. If they aren't having fun, (imho) demanding an answer from them isn't going to do anything except possibly lead to hard feelings on one side or the other.

To avoid stressing about it, I started archiving my PM RPs within minutes after I reply. Then, if my partner replies, they pop back into my inbox. Doesn't matter if it's hours, days, weeks, months later. In the meantime, out of site, out of mind.

That a idea.

Might be worthwhile to take a look at some of what's been said here. There's quite a bit meant for those on both sides of a ghosting issue.

It used to bother me but i got really steady partners to write with now. I've used starters i wrote that didnt work out with other writers into brillant roleplays and stories with other writers. There is no need to be nasty or rude to another roleplayer.

I see I’m low on partners and ghosting bugs me. But I will make sure to keep my starters for future use.

Honestly, in these times, I just kinda assume they suddenly died.
This, and precedent, is why I always agree to RPs I'm interested in independently of how many RPs I currently have going on.
I can generally safely assume that 60% of them will just die for whatever reason.
I don't bother checking up since I figure life is busy for others regardless, and sometimes I get a reply for an RP I started three months ago and completely forgot about.
It happens.

True I have waited up to a month before. I try to get many as I can like that. But then run into problem of people always want romance smut horror etc. stuff I won’t due. But it life and I guess I just keep looking.

Also, just a suggestion, but a lot of RPers are a bit picky when it comes to writing, so it's a good idea to double-check a post as a matter of proof-reading before sending it out. Sometimes a few small mistakes can be enough to turn someone off from the idea of RPing with you, and a lot of people are too socially awkward to ask you to fix your post. Though, to be fair to them; a lot of people are too socially awkward to not take that request personally.

It's important to remember that RP is, at its core, a form of social interaction, after all.

True never thought of that.

i noticed this topic so i might as well add in my opinion. People in this website come from a lot of diffrent countries so maybe early for you might be late for them. So if they suddenly leave around a specific time is maybe cause they went to sleep. I believe that waiting some hours because of the person fallung asleep is acceptable but waiting for a week or a month is not, especially when someones refer to themselves as long-term partners (fprgive my errors its 2AM)

Excellent! I went through every PM I had from the beginning of time and did this. Works great! It was weird seeing an empty inbox but in the morning it's chock full of replies! A MUCH simpler way than what I was doing. I still have folders for people who have left RPR as I like memorialising our RP stories.

*This sidetrack of this thread was brought to you by 'The Ancient*

Back on topic...
A week is too long? I have been accused of 'ghosting' when I haven't replied in days so it's a matter of perspective. I suppose it's a personal preference as to how long one waits for a reply. I have one long-term partner who I write an RP with, but the frequency of the posts could be months, but we are consistant. It comes down to personal preference, but I, like Juls, don't let ghosting bother me anymore.

In truth it really depends on situation. I know for myself I do not ghost people least not intentionally.

If I have a problem I will straight up tell you. However as an individual who sometimes gets lost in their own world building I have a habit of turning off DMs or chats for the sake of concentration.

I am sorry people have ghosted you, I find that to be incredibly rude

I have the hardest time finding partners and I send reminder and after months they still don’t reply. But thanks. Yea I understand that. I try my best not to ghost. But thanks for understanding.

Of course, I would give hugs if I could.

You don't deserve to be ghosted. It is extremely unfair.

So I've been busy a lot so I've ghosted quite a few times but I do try and respond back whenever I'm not busy.