Forums » Smalltalk » AMA: Being a FTM during covid & PPA/PPD awareness

So this might be TLDR but is for all the parent's or soon to be's that might be lurking around. While I am happy to offer advice or just simply listen to anyone else's experiences.. I am by no means an expert, medical professional, or veteran parent. These are my own personal experiences that I thought could maybe help others in my position by sharing, and also maybe help me by being able to openly share.

To start off, my baby was not a planned "pandemic baby". I found out I was pregnant a month after the pandemic first began and despite any future struggles that were unknown to me at the time, wanted to keep and raise my baby regardless.

My pregnancy was not what I envisioned or expected it to be whatsoever. While I was over the moon happy about it in general, it was overall a pretty lonely experience since my s.o. works a lot. Without going into the exact details and while we made the best of it, I felt I had been robbed of what was otherwise a "normal" pregnancy due to covid and regulations put in place.

Fast forward to now. Covid is still running rampant in my area and literally only immediate famiy who live in our town have been able to see him a handful of times when he was a newborn. Due to them taking time off of work and self quarantining for that purpose. They have not seen him/me since he was roughly 4-6 weeks old and he is now almost 3 months. They are all unable to quarantine for the needed amount of time due to work obligations and can I blame them? Not at all. It makes sense for them to work as much as possible while they can in case another lock down happens or (hopefully not) someone does actually get the virus.

I have the luxury of being a full time stay at home mom which was planned before the pandemic. What wasn't planned was the overwhelming post partum anxiety and depression that is continuously triggered by what is going on with the virus and inability to see any family members, especially my own mom. My s.o. still works a lot and I have hardly any friend's in my area outside of family.

While I love him more than words can ever express, it is the loneliest and saddest I have ever been in my entire life. PPA/PPD and mom guilt (even dad or parent in general guilt) is very real and can be extremely crippling especially if you have pre-existing mental conditions already, as I do. And it is even if you do not. But I have managed to keep my head above the water for the sake of my bub and am actively seeking professional help.
Which I urge anyone struggling with any sort of debilitating mental disorders to do!

One thing I am very thankful for and don't know what I would do without is my online friends. I love you and think the world of you. I am also thankful for this platform and how it provides a much needed creative outlet and mini escape when needed.

Don't know what else to really say and don't want to go into too many deep details out in the open. I don't mind to do so in private messages or on discord if it might help someone else to share such things.

But feel free to comment or ask me anything at all! Just be gentle with me please, this was very hard for me to post. Would also love to hear from other parents!

If you got this far, thank you for reading!
Wishing everyone well. ❤

Hey, firstly a long overdue congratulations!! We haven't spoken in quite some time but after reading down through everything I'm happy to learn that you're able to seek professional help and have the fortitude to pace the hardships and challenges of being a ftm dealing with PPA/PPD and a pandemic. I can not imagine the struggle. I've had many friends who actually experienced depression similarly when a first time parent who did not have to deal with a pandemic on top of it and it was immensely challenging on its own!

I found this information provided here insightful, not as someone who struggles with these things but as someone who has friends that do. I'm sure others will appreciate what you've shared here, thanks for taking the time to share your experience and offer advice and assistance beneficial to other struggling users!

Cheering for you, Cryptid! And wishing you the best!

It took me a minute to realize what FTM meant, there. Hehe. Hang in there, OP! You're probably doing great. I hope that you have a very happy life together with your family!
As for questions, how is your baby doing? Does it have a favorite doll yet? I'm not sure what point babies develop 'favorite things'. ^-^ I don't know if it's relevant, it was just the first one that came to mind. And if you don't want to answer questions about your baby that's totally okay!!!
So secondary question, uh, how do you cope with cravings and stuff when you're trying to quarantine?

Thank you! Would love to catch up sometime! I hope my sharing and opening up does comfort even one person so they know they aren't alone and there are others experiencing the same if not similar.
2020 has just been an overall crap year for everyone. Really hoping 2021 brings in some good all around. We all need it!

He's doing well! Generally a very easy going and happy baby!
Sort of, it's a big blue plush Octopus that he definitely favors over his other stuffies.

That's a good question! I mostly utilized the delivery services from direct stores and just made whatever at home or used stuff like postmates, doordash, and grubhub if there was something I absolutely had to have and didn't feel like making. Sometimes even found stuff on Amazon, depending.

Thank you for your kind words and questions!

That's so cute!! Thank you for your answer.