It's not everyday I sit myself down and decide to turn an eye towards something insightful, but perhaps today I can blame boredom on a previous plane trip and a little curiosity to the way my fingers fly across my keyboard today.
The wondering is simple: what do our characters' selves say about those who play them--about us? Do we really put pieces of ourselves into them? Why? The answer might not be easy for some of us to find, or perhaps we've already given it some heavy thought, but let's down a stamina potion and delve into the twisted psyche of ourselves via our own creations.
Let me give you a little background information on myself, which I'm sure I've mentioned before and will do again for a long time to come. I started actually 'roleplaying' when I was about eleven. I had no concept of what I've come to know as RP today: 'mary-sues', 'godmodding', 'twink', 'strict-canon', 'persona play'; none of that was in my vocabulary. All I understood of the concept was that I made a character (or a hundred), someone else made a character, and we'd write stories together--whether I knew this person or not. It was my second foray into the world of the internet, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever, next to video games.
In the rhetorical words of my grandmother "needless to say" (but I say it anyway), I was a horrible roleplayer by my own and my fellow peers' standards. My first character was Draconus, who is not the man you read about today, but I screwed up more in technique than character creation--just wait until I made my first self insert, a lil' noblewoman you may now know as "Lady Forest". To make a boring and long story short, I had to do a good deal of growing, and unfortunately some taunting from fellow internet-dwellers, before I grew up as a player, dragging my characters kicking and screaming with me down a path of rediscovery and recreation.
Out of my present list, only a few characters I've made profiles for are the old gang I used when I was a young teen. Out of that small list of perhaps four or five, only one has really stayed the same. During my growing years where I became accustomed to strict canon story lines and consistency in my characters from story to story, almost everyone I played was discarded as unfixable or radically altered to fit a bigger tale. Some of these reworkings turned out pretty alright, like Lady Self Insert, and some fell by the wayside and died an unnatural death in the back of my head where a part of me is a wee bit nutty. You've got to be just a little crazy if you're going to take on a character overhaul.
But it turned out for the better. I grew to rediscover and rekindle my love for some of the characters I played, and now they're my favorite ones to dig out of the box and fling into a plot. What I didn't realize during these years of rebuilding, even as they continue to this day, is that I was putting a little bit of myself into them. In a way, it's a touch ironic: I overhauled Lady Forest because I wished to separate myself from self-insertism, because I still felt the sting of being insulted over it. Yet here I was, still putting bits of my personality or mannerisms into all these characters. Why? Didn't I want to get away from copies of myself?
Of course I did, but I didn't make copies. I took a bit of myself, sometimes on purpose, and worked it in well enough so that in the end, the character flourished with a life of their own. It didn't matter what they shared, because they were their own being in their own world, having their lives written out by some young woman with a highly active imagination and a dash of nuttiness to pull it all off--whether she meant to or not.
Once again roleplay became the coolest thing ever. But again, why did I do it? Maybe it's because a lot of writers tend to write what they know. Who knows me better than me?
So what do our characters' say about us? Can some deep study of how a fictional being works and acts tell others about the player? Can this apply to characters who aren't even our own, but we borrowed and played with anyway like action figures from our childhoods? ... and yes, by the by, this lil' lady had action figures. A Red Ranger.
... but I digress considerably. I'm going to step back, be a narcissist, and run down my list of public characters and give you some personal insight about myself.
Malacharv, Johann Human. Occupation- Biker, Roughneck, Pokemon Trainer
What I failed to mention before now is some of my overhauls were alternate universe counterparts. Part of the reason for this habit of taking one character and rehashing them into other genres and stories is because my self-insert was forced to take the same split when I remade her. Malacharv (1 of 2) is such an example. To understand him, it might be better if we step back and look at the Johann...
Malagrav, Johann Dark elven mutt. Occupation- Ambassador, Assassin
Here we go. The Original. The Template. Numero Uno. Johann's existence started during a rather cynical point in my life a few years ago, where I found myself frustrated with other players around me, who I simply considered cliche and immature. Perhaps I was elitist at that time, thinking myself better than the strangers around me I found myself playing with while I quietly snarked at them behind their backs to others. Good grief. Johann 'matured' (and I hate to use that word) into a brooding, cynical, snarking elf world-weary with everyone around him and more than capable of leaning on the fourth wall to take advantage of what he witnessed.
I guess he was some sort of twisted stress-reliever, because as high-and-mighty as I felt, I was equally annoyed that I either couldn't go with the flow of others or just didn't like their styles but had no where else to turn. My personal venues had gotten a little stale. I was probably in a low point of my RP career, and Johann served as an outlet to let the cynicism and snark loose without stepping on OoC toes (though sometimes I did and sometimes still worry that I do). 'Still do? Copper, you still use Johann? You're still like this?' Yes and no. I still play Johann, as many can tell you, but I've walked away from being hoity-toity. Johann still snarks and is still a cynical asshole--pardon my honest English--but those have become a very rooted part of the elf and have served as story points instead of outlets for their player. A nice turn-around, if I say so myself, though I do extend a very honest apology if his behavior offends you OoCly. I don't intend it, I promise!
So looking back on Malacharv, he's almost the same. Snarky, a little more immature than the elf, and willing to punch a few faces. He's probably the part of me that doesn't mind their words very well and doesn't always thinking of how an action affects everyone else. I've had more than a few times where the sails of the SS Snark have gone dead in the water, and that's probably a very good thing.
Typhus Chehtorian. Occupation: Emperor.
Typhus is a horrible old man with an iron fist.
The ol' cat might be more of me than I'd like to admit. He's that little sliver of me that was one elitist, and that's probably about it. He can be cruel, stern, racist, and unpleasant, but you sit in the room with me for a few hours and might end up wondering how I ever came up with such a tyrant. To be honest, I just needed a big bad to my stories, and Typhus is what popped out.
Lady Lauren Forest A Mutt. Occupation: Entrepenuer.
One half of the self-insert. I'm very proud of how she turned out in the end. Oh sure, she's still got a lot of me in her. Her hair color is a little more vibrant than mine, but her eyes are still green and she's a weight I once hit and wish I had maintained to this day. She swears a bit more than I do, and I've been known to swear something fierce amongst very good friends. She's awefully brash, and you can catch me pulling her stunts on a very bad day. I can't really say I'd like to be her though. She's a mess, in bloodline and in manners, and would make my Southern parents roll in their graves. (Wait. I'm implying they're dead, aren't I? They're alive and well!
) I'm still not sure how she turned out to be separated from her self-insert elements when she seems to have so many still--maybe I managed to put my own spin on them hard enough to come out with another cut of a gem.
Lauren Wilhelm Human. Occupation: Psychic, Pokemon Trainer, librarian's assistant.
The other half of the self-insertism, and the farthest separated. I'm still not sure what part of me she is--perhaps the quiet but socially awkward end that panics when something goes amiss. Forest got the brash, heavier, loudmouthed end of the stick, and Wilhelm gained the awkward panicing end. Sounds like a good balance.
Lord Azarkot Demon. Occupation: Banker, Loan Shark, Nobleman.
If anything, Azarkot is that sick and twisted side of us all that I really hate contemplating. I've thought up some terrifying things for this guy to do, only to turn around a second later with abject horror at how I could ever think of such a course of action. On the other hand, he, Typhus, and Draconus serve a sort of three-way-power triangle of leadership, sophistication, and drive I wish I could get my chocolate-grabbing fingers on.
Dubhanaut & Quickfoot Darknut & Human (headcanon). Occupations: Guardian (headcanon) & Egg Thief
The funny thing about when I borrow canon characters is that I get a hold of the 'blank canvases', the ones that never really had a name or backstory fleshed out in public by the creators, and make them my own. Dubhanaut was the first, being the darknut that served as a mini-boss in Twilight Princess. Quickfoot is the second, playing the part of one particular Egg Thief from the first Spyro game, who had decided tucking himself away on a lone ledge in Wizard's Peak was a darn good idea. These characters grew into their own, and if you stripped them of their occupations, their races, and their stories, you could probably put them anywhere to any OC anyone could think up. The only way they're a part of me is that I made them who they are in some private little place that will never truly be canon to their actual creators, but boy do I have fun doing it (for free, at that!) I really think that's the best part of playing in a canon world--you grab up the characters who were never a part of the main story and make them live and breathe.
Raichael & Raphael Humans. Occupations: Tinker & Librarian respectively.
These two are still growing, and they have their own awkward power-triangle of sorts with Wilhelm. Yes, for now their one-dimensional selves embody my own socially awkward moments, of which I have many.
Draconus Immanus. Occupation: Paladin, Battlemage Captain.
Otherwise known as Paladin, the Rule Stickler, the Traditionalist. He's the big part of me that is socially conscious and polite and wishes everyone else would be too, darn it. I'm a Texan, mind you, and we're very particular about social graces and politeness. Draconus is too, to a huge extent, and has expressed his displeasure at broken traditions and rudeness to close relatives and his personal journal. He's probably the Nice Guy foil to Johann, except I never meant to create the same parallels on purpose with the paladin. The red-headed man is also the part of me who likes to play by the rules, encourage others to be better people and help those around them, cranked up considerably and wrapped up in a divine package.
He may also be the half of me that could be me if I reconnected to religion, still cranked up a few notches. I sort of fell out of it somewhere in my teenage years, yet I somehow found myself comfortable enough to play a paladin to a god that, while it was my own creation, took a little inspiration from the Big Man Upstairs I wave to and thank from time to time.
Taunter
Remember a while back when I mentioned one character remained virtually the same throughout time? You're looking at him. I can't really tell you why Taunter is still the funny-colored Haunter he was ten years ago, give or take a bit more malicious behavior. Maybe that's simply because I have fun playing him. He's wacky, he's goofy, and he's dangerous just under the surface. Does he represent an unsolved mystery of a deeper evil under the surface of my Southern hospitality and snark...?
Or am I just thinking things out too hard like an English class with a copy of Action Comics #1?
In looking back on these musings, I've come to realize its my more fleshed out characters who have the bigger paragraphs. I figure it's their third-dimensions that gave me more to write about--the parts of me that are a part of them are just that one sliver, but I thought about it hard enough to recognize and tweak them out amongst all the other pieces that became their own puzzles. Those puzzles came together to form their own map, in the shape of me, because I put myself, care, and elbow grease into making them. Maybe your own characters have a puzzle of you too, just waiting to be assembled and admired.
So what do your characters say about you?
The wondering is simple: what do our characters' selves say about those who play them--about us? Do we really put pieces of ourselves into them? Why? The answer might not be easy for some of us to find, or perhaps we've already given it some heavy thought, but let's down a stamina potion and delve into the twisted psyche of ourselves via our own creations.
Let me give you a little background information on myself, which I'm sure I've mentioned before and will do again for a long time to come. I started actually 'roleplaying' when I was about eleven. I had no concept of what I've come to know as RP today: 'mary-sues', 'godmodding', 'twink', 'strict-canon', 'persona play'; none of that was in my vocabulary. All I understood of the concept was that I made a character (or a hundred), someone else made a character, and we'd write stories together--whether I knew this person or not. It was my second foray into the world of the internet, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever, next to video games.
In the rhetorical words of my grandmother "needless to say" (but I say it anyway), I was a horrible roleplayer by my own and my fellow peers' standards. My first character was Draconus, who is not the man you read about today, but I screwed up more in technique than character creation--just wait until I made my first self insert, a lil' noblewoman you may now know as "Lady Forest". To make a boring and long story short, I had to do a good deal of growing, and unfortunately some taunting from fellow internet-dwellers, before I grew up as a player, dragging my characters kicking and screaming with me down a path of rediscovery and recreation.
Out of my present list, only a few characters I've made profiles for are the old gang I used when I was a young teen. Out of that small list of perhaps four or five, only one has really stayed the same. During my growing years where I became accustomed to strict canon story lines and consistency in my characters from story to story, almost everyone I played was discarded as unfixable or radically altered to fit a bigger tale. Some of these reworkings turned out pretty alright, like Lady Self Insert, and some fell by the wayside and died an unnatural death in the back of my head where a part of me is a wee bit nutty. You've got to be just a little crazy if you're going to take on a character overhaul.
But it turned out for the better. I grew to rediscover and rekindle my love for some of the characters I played, and now they're my favorite ones to dig out of the box and fling into a plot. What I didn't realize during these years of rebuilding, even as they continue to this day, is that I was putting a little bit of myself into them. In a way, it's a touch ironic: I overhauled Lady Forest because I wished to separate myself from self-insertism, because I still felt the sting of being insulted over it. Yet here I was, still putting bits of my personality or mannerisms into all these characters. Why? Didn't I want to get away from copies of myself?
Of course I did, but I didn't make copies. I took a bit of myself, sometimes on purpose, and worked it in well enough so that in the end, the character flourished with a life of their own. It didn't matter what they shared, because they were their own being in their own world, having their lives written out by some young woman with a highly active imagination and a dash of nuttiness to pull it all off--whether she meant to or not.
Once again roleplay became the coolest thing ever. But again, why did I do it? Maybe it's because a lot of writers tend to write what they know. Who knows me better than me?
So what do our characters' say about us? Can some deep study of how a fictional being works and acts tell others about the player? Can this apply to characters who aren't even our own, but we borrowed and played with anyway like action figures from our childhoods? ... and yes, by the by, this lil' lady had action figures. A Red Ranger.
... but I digress considerably. I'm going to step back, be a narcissist, and run down my list of public characters and give you some personal insight about myself.
Malacharv, Johann Human. Occupation- Biker, Roughneck, Pokemon Trainer
What I failed to mention before now is some of my overhauls were alternate universe counterparts. Part of the reason for this habit of taking one character and rehashing them into other genres and stories is because my self-insert was forced to take the same split when I remade her. Malacharv (1 of 2) is such an example. To understand him, it might be better if we step back and look at the Johann...
Malagrav, Johann Dark elven mutt. Occupation- Ambassador, Assassin
Here we go. The Original. The Template. Numero Uno. Johann's existence started during a rather cynical point in my life a few years ago, where I found myself frustrated with other players around me, who I simply considered cliche and immature. Perhaps I was elitist at that time, thinking myself better than the strangers around me I found myself playing with while I quietly snarked at them behind their backs to others. Good grief. Johann 'matured' (and I hate to use that word) into a brooding, cynical, snarking elf world-weary with everyone around him and more than capable of leaning on the fourth wall to take advantage of what he witnessed.
I guess he was some sort of twisted stress-reliever, because as high-and-mighty as I felt, I was equally annoyed that I either couldn't go with the flow of others or just didn't like their styles but had no where else to turn. My personal venues had gotten a little stale. I was probably in a low point of my RP career, and Johann served as an outlet to let the cynicism and snark loose without stepping on OoC toes (though sometimes I did and sometimes still worry that I do). 'Still do? Copper, you still use Johann? You're still like this?' Yes and no. I still play Johann, as many can tell you, but I've walked away from being hoity-toity. Johann still snarks and is still a cynical asshole--pardon my honest English--but those have become a very rooted part of the elf and have served as story points instead of outlets for their player. A nice turn-around, if I say so myself, though I do extend a very honest apology if his behavior offends you OoCly. I don't intend it, I promise!
So looking back on Malacharv, he's almost the same. Snarky, a little more immature than the elf, and willing to punch a few faces. He's probably the part of me that doesn't mind their words very well and doesn't always thinking of how an action affects everyone else. I've had more than a few times where the sails of the SS Snark have gone dead in the water, and that's probably a very good thing.
Typhus Chehtorian. Occupation: Emperor.
Typhus is a horrible old man with an iron fist.
The ol' cat might be more of me than I'd like to admit. He's that little sliver of me that was one elitist, and that's probably about it. He can be cruel, stern, racist, and unpleasant, but you sit in the room with me for a few hours and might end up wondering how I ever came up with such a tyrant. To be honest, I just needed a big bad to my stories, and Typhus is what popped out.
Lady Lauren Forest A Mutt. Occupation: Entrepenuer.
One half of the self-insert. I'm very proud of how she turned out in the end. Oh sure, she's still got a lot of me in her. Her hair color is a little more vibrant than mine, but her eyes are still green and she's a weight I once hit and wish I had maintained to this day. She swears a bit more than I do, and I've been known to swear something fierce amongst very good friends. She's awefully brash, and you can catch me pulling her stunts on a very bad day. I can't really say I'd like to be her though. She's a mess, in bloodline and in manners, and would make my Southern parents roll in their graves. (Wait. I'm implying they're dead, aren't I? They're alive and well!
) I'm still not sure how she turned out to be separated from her self-insert elements when she seems to have so many still--maybe I managed to put my own spin on them hard enough to come out with another cut of a gem.Lauren Wilhelm Human. Occupation: Psychic, Pokemon Trainer, librarian's assistant.
The other half of the self-insertism, and the farthest separated. I'm still not sure what part of me she is--perhaps the quiet but socially awkward end that panics when something goes amiss. Forest got the brash, heavier, loudmouthed end of the stick, and Wilhelm gained the awkward panicing end. Sounds like a good balance.
Lord Azarkot Demon. Occupation: Banker, Loan Shark, Nobleman.
If anything, Azarkot is that sick and twisted side of us all that I really hate contemplating. I've thought up some terrifying things for this guy to do, only to turn around a second later with abject horror at how I could ever think of such a course of action. On the other hand, he, Typhus, and Draconus serve a sort of three-way-power triangle of leadership, sophistication, and drive I wish I could get my chocolate-grabbing fingers on.
Dubhanaut & Quickfoot Darknut & Human (headcanon). Occupations: Guardian (headcanon) & Egg Thief
The funny thing about when I borrow canon characters is that I get a hold of the 'blank canvases', the ones that never really had a name or backstory fleshed out in public by the creators, and make them my own. Dubhanaut was the first, being the darknut that served as a mini-boss in Twilight Princess. Quickfoot is the second, playing the part of one particular Egg Thief from the first Spyro game, who had decided tucking himself away on a lone ledge in Wizard's Peak was a darn good idea. These characters grew into their own, and if you stripped them of their occupations, their races, and their stories, you could probably put them anywhere to any OC anyone could think up. The only way they're a part of me is that I made them who they are in some private little place that will never truly be canon to their actual creators, but boy do I have fun doing it (for free, at that!) I really think that's the best part of playing in a canon world--you grab up the characters who were never a part of the main story and make them live and breathe.
Raichael & Raphael Humans. Occupations: Tinker & Librarian respectively.
These two are still growing, and they have their own awkward power-triangle of sorts with Wilhelm. Yes, for now their one-dimensional selves embody my own socially awkward moments, of which I have many.
Draconus Immanus. Occupation: Paladin, Battlemage Captain.
Otherwise known as Paladin, the Rule Stickler, the Traditionalist. He's the big part of me that is socially conscious and polite and wishes everyone else would be too, darn it. I'm a Texan, mind you, and we're very particular about social graces and politeness. Draconus is too, to a huge extent, and has expressed his displeasure at broken traditions and rudeness to close relatives and his personal journal. He's probably the Nice Guy foil to Johann, except I never meant to create the same parallels on purpose with the paladin. The red-headed man is also the part of me who likes to play by the rules, encourage others to be better people and help those around them, cranked up considerably and wrapped up in a divine package.
He may also be the half of me that could be me if I reconnected to religion, still cranked up a few notches. I sort of fell out of it somewhere in my teenage years, yet I somehow found myself comfortable enough to play a paladin to a god that, while it was my own creation, took a little inspiration from the Big Man Upstairs I wave to and thank from time to time.
Taunter
Remember a while back when I mentioned one character remained virtually the same throughout time? You're looking at him. I can't really tell you why Taunter is still the funny-colored Haunter he was ten years ago, give or take a bit more malicious behavior. Maybe that's simply because I have fun playing him. He's wacky, he's goofy, and he's dangerous just under the surface. Does he represent an unsolved mystery of a deeper evil under the surface of my Southern hospitality and snark...?
Or am I just thinking things out too hard like an English class with a copy of Action Comics #1?
In looking back on these musings, I've come to realize its my more fleshed out characters who have the bigger paragraphs. I figure it's their third-dimensions that gave me more to write about--the parts of me that are a part of them are just that one sliver, but I thought about it hard enough to recognize and tweak them out amongst all the other pieces that became their own puzzles. Those puzzles came together to form their own map, in the shape of me, because I put myself, care, and elbow grease into making them. Maybe your own characters have a puzzle of you too, just waiting to be assembled and admired.
So what do your characters say about you?
HM..
Saethryth - Human
Sea was my first character. Well, my first roleplayed, expanded upon character. I think I made her when I was.... eleven? She essentially began as a better-than-reality persona back when I RPed in AOL chat rooms. And that's all I really think she is: Myself wanting to be what everyone told me I should be (pretty, TRULY blonde instead of 'just' dirty blonde, thin), with the addition of POWER. Like any mary sue, she had no personality flaws (EXCEPT MY OWN HURR HURR - and we all know that's a LOT), no true weaknesses, got all the cuties, had a billion different magical critters, magical tattoo, had a dramatic lovestory with a wind god and later with a demon. Despite my personal dislike for children, mutt children made for 'great' drama.
So there's that.
My next main character...
Tachs - Gerbil/Rat
I believe Tachs was my attempt to break away from the norm. After changing poor Sea into multiple animals, I realized she was WAY too boring and cliche. So what did I do? I made a mentally handicapped gerbil-rat (because a pure rat character would have been too NORMAL, why not an animal that most people in my life - at the time - didn't even know existed?). She was cute, she had a bad history (this part perhaps being a part of me trying to work through some stuff, myself), and most people actually liked her - on top of that, she was DEFINITELY NOT SEXY, which was a huge thing for me at the time.
And then came...
Masha - Dwarf Hamster/Dwarf Rabbit
Eventually, I got tired of Tachs. Every one of these characters have all started out as a persona (Masha being the last in this line - the rest all are purely characters), and Tachs just no longer suited me. She was skinny, she was non-sexual. I've had a lot of flip-flopping on sexuality in my life, and Masha just embodied my attempt to make a character that fit this for me. By this time, IRL, my hair had decided it was time to turn bright-ass ginger (it's now, currently, dark auburn, going on brown), so, there came the read hair. And my goodness had I always wanted curls. Give her some cute pudge - as I'd finally accepted my own as quite attractive - and she was perfect! Her roleplay existence is entirely separate from these wants - as she's nothing like me. But, that's how she came to be.
Honestly? I don't think any of my more recent characters say anything about me in a manner similar to which Sea, Tachs, and Masha did. Certainly, they say SOMETHING, but they don't speak volumes. Perhaps they speak maturity (lol) in the manner that I'm finally willing to have something that isn't meant to be me in another shape.
Saethryth - Human
Sea was my first character. Well, my first roleplayed, expanded upon character. I think I made her when I was.... eleven? She essentially began as a better-than-reality persona back when I RPed in AOL chat rooms. And that's all I really think she is: Myself wanting to be what everyone told me I should be (pretty, TRULY blonde instead of 'just' dirty blonde, thin), with the addition of POWER. Like any mary sue, she had no personality flaws (EXCEPT MY OWN HURR HURR - and we all know that's a LOT), no true weaknesses, got all the cuties, had a billion different magical critters, magical tattoo, had a dramatic lovestory with a wind god and later with a demon. Despite my personal dislike for children, mutt children made for 'great' drama.
So there's that.
My next main character...
Tachs - Gerbil/Rat
I believe Tachs was my attempt to break away from the norm. After changing poor Sea into multiple animals, I realized she was WAY too boring and cliche. So what did I do? I made a mentally handicapped gerbil-rat (because a pure rat character would have been too NORMAL, why not an animal that most people in my life - at the time - didn't even know existed?). She was cute, she had a bad history (this part perhaps being a part of me trying to work through some stuff, myself), and most people actually liked her - on top of that, she was DEFINITELY NOT SEXY, which was a huge thing for me at the time.
And then came...
Masha - Dwarf Hamster/Dwarf Rabbit
Eventually, I got tired of Tachs. Every one of these characters have all started out as a persona (Masha being the last in this line - the rest all are purely characters), and Tachs just no longer suited me. She was skinny, she was non-sexual. I've had a lot of flip-flopping on sexuality in my life, and Masha just embodied my attempt to make a character that fit this for me. By this time, IRL, my hair had decided it was time to turn bright-ass ginger (it's now, currently, dark auburn, going on brown), so, there came the read hair. And my goodness had I always wanted curls. Give her some cute pudge - as I'd finally accepted my own as quite attractive - and she was perfect! Her roleplay existence is entirely separate from these wants - as she's nothing like me. But, that's how she came to be.
Honestly? I don't think any of my more recent characters say anything about me in a manner similar to which Sea, Tachs, and Masha did. Certainly, they say SOMETHING, but they don't speak volumes. Perhaps they speak maturity (lol) in the manner that I'm finally willing to have something that isn't meant to be me in another shape.
I've been giving this a lot of thought, what with NaNoWriMo going on and thinking about characters and plots in general. I'd have to say though, that all my characters reflect a little bit of me, not that they ARE me, but that they emphasize a particular trait I have within me to a much more absurd degree.
Cody Wesson would be my hard-core patriotic-to-America self. Not that I endorse everything he does, nor would I even agree with what he does, but at the heart of him, what he stands for is what I stand for.
Sterling--my vampire hunter--might seem way out there, but he's my protective side, ready to fight the bad at any cost to protect those who are most important to him. I stand up for what I believe in, though I may not stake vampires or take on werewolves, I do know that there is a war going on between good and evil. And I'm very loyal to those few who are my friends.
Arien is my medieval swordsman/trickster character. He's the snarky side of me, though he has no filter telling him what he shouldn't say out loud. While I may censor myself, Arien has no such qualms, but as a trickster/prankster and a guy who loves to have fun, he reflects the fun aspect of me. (Even though, as an introvert, I prefer to watch other people than to participate--he gets me out there.)
I think I'll stop there for now, as far as reciting how my characters reflect me--not that they ARE me--definitely not. But that they merely take a trait I possess and increase it about a hundred-fold. This is probably how I'm able to get into the heads of my characters so easily--despite having so many of them. (Although I should add that not all of them are easy to play back-to-back.)
Now story and plot in general is a much deeper topic. I've discovered that my novels reflect my current struggles in life, mentally, physically, and spiritually, so that would be another fun (if wordy) topic to explore.
Cody Wesson would be my hard-core patriotic-to-America self. Not that I endorse everything he does, nor would I even agree with what he does, but at the heart of him, what he stands for is what I stand for.
Sterling--my vampire hunter--might seem way out there, but he's my protective side, ready to fight the bad at any cost to protect those who are most important to him. I stand up for what I believe in, though I may not stake vampires or take on werewolves, I do know that there is a war going on between good and evil. And I'm very loyal to those few who are my friends.
Arien is my medieval swordsman/trickster character. He's the snarky side of me, though he has no filter telling him what he shouldn't say out loud. While I may censor myself, Arien has no such qualms, but as a trickster/prankster and a guy who loves to have fun, he reflects the fun aspect of me. (Even though, as an introvert, I prefer to watch other people than to participate--he gets me out there.)
I think I'll stop there for now, as far as reciting how my characters reflect me--not that they ARE me--definitely not. But that they merely take a trait I possess and increase it about a hundred-fold. This is probably how I'm able to get into the heads of my characters so easily--despite having so many of them. (Although I should add that not all of them are easy to play back-to-back.)
Now story and plot in general is a much deeper topic. I've discovered that my novels reflect my current struggles in life, mentally, physically, and spiritually, so that would be another fun (if wordy) topic to explore.
I sometimes worry that my tendency to play areholes says something about me as a person.
I remember when I first made West. Man, it would've been 8 or so years ago. I had begun to notice that characters would meet each other in a RP then instantly become inseparable friends for life. There was never any conflicts. No people simply not liking each other. So I made West just to throw a stick into that. He was going to be an arsehole and hate all your faces.
In more recent years he's been toned down. At first he was a super-powerful swordsman and people would blindly follow him for Gods know what reason. Now he's basically a common thief and I play him with characters who are more likely to tell him to stick a sock in it, than meekly follow his lead.
However, since West, I've made so many characters that are similar to him. Jericho and Rémi and even the character I submitted to the Improcomic, Marlon.
I'm not sure if this is because I use them as an outlet, or because I'm a horrible person and can only RP horrible people. But this has been my niche for many years now @__@
I remember when I first made West. Man, it would've been 8 or so years ago. I had begun to notice that characters would meet each other in a RP then instantly become inseparable friends for life. There was never any conflicts. No people simply not liking each other. So I made West just to throw a stick into that. He was going to be an arsehole and hate all your faces.
In more recent years he's been toned down. At first he was a super-powerful swordsman and people would blindly follow him for Gods know what reason. Now he's basically a common thief and I play him with characters who are more likely to tell him to stick a sock in it, than meekly follow his lead.
However, since West, I've made so many characters that are similar to him. Jericho and Rémi and even the character I submitted to the Improcomic, Marlon.
I'm not sure if this is because I use them as an outlet, or because I'm a horrible person and can only RP horrible people. But this has been my niche for many years now @__@
I wrote this big long thing that revealed way too much about myself, so I'm turning to another character.
When I first made Nis she was a quiet, shy character who acted like a total BAMF, with a soft side to herself. She evolved into a rude, angry, stabby character as the Ravenloft game continued. I can safely say her aggressive behaviour got worse and worse as I began to resent my DM. The longer I played in the game, the angrier I got at his various transgressions. Barely able to make myself heard, I channelled the feelings into Nis. I made her a personification of my anger and frustration. Even now, over a year later, I still can't let go of it.
Nis is very much what happens to me when I'm so pissed I can barely breath. She's just a long term bottling up.
When I first made Nis she was a quiet, shy character who acted like a total BAMF, with a soft side to herself. She evolved into a rude, angry, stabby character as the Ravenloft game continued. I can safely say her aggressive behaviour got worse and worse as I began to resent my DM. The longer I played in the game, the angrier I got at his various transgressions. Barely able to make myself heard, I channelled the feelings into Nis. I made her a personification of my anger and frustration. Even now, over a year later, I still can't let go of it.
Nis is very much what happens to me when I'm so pissed I can barely breath. She's just a long term bottling up.
I think the only thing my characters say about me is that I enjoy diversity and the unusual. I don't have the most mind blowing, original characters, but I do have a wide range of personalities, ideals and backgrounds for them.
Most of them have something in common with me, but usually in the extreme senses. Others are mostly the opposite of me.
I gave up on a personification characters a couple of years ago. Project 27 is the most recent one, but I could never roleplay her well, so I gave up really fast and made her her own character with just some of my traits.
On a side note, I truly admire people who can roleplay a character that goes against all their own morals, ideals and instincts and stick with it. Killing a cold blooded murderer when you're a generous, warm soul who rescues and tends to humans and animals in need is difficult. You have to be truly able to understand how such a mind works to roleplay it effectively, and that's really hard. There's a reason why most of us start out roleplaying our ideal selves and never our complete opposites.
Most of them have something in common with me, but usually in the extreme senses. Others are mostly the opposite of me.
I gave up on a personification characters a couple of years ago. Project 27 is the most recent one, but I could never roleplay her well, so I gave up really fast and made her her own character with just some of my traits.
On a side note, I truly admire people who can roleplay a character that goes against all their own morals, ideals and instincts and stick with it. Killing a cold blooded murderer when you're a generous, warm soul who rescues and tends to humans and animals in need is difficult. You have to be truly able to understand how such a mind works to roleplay it effectively, and that's really hard. There's a reason why most of us start out roleplaying our ideal selves and never our complete opposites.
I've been role playing on and off for many years now, I still remember my first character in D&D, but after that, I've lost the count of them. Why? Because I am easily inspired and I often grabbed too many ideas and stories that I couldn't even handle them anymore. But this is not about character count, this is about how they tell something about me and I must admit that they do.
Sometimes it's not so much the personalities themselves as the way I role play them that give away my own personal thoughts. I have rather versatile list of characters here, from somewhat snobbish heir-lady to nearly undead 'sorcerer' who steals people's dreams and ideas, rebellion leader, flirty dragon or cheery, fatally ill girl. Some are idealistic characters and there are those who have given up on all ideals, but on some level, they all seek out justice and fairness, only they all define and work for it differently. Even if it's revenge. Which, I guess, is what I would like to do and do, when I can.
Some share a mean side with me, with some I can play what I would like to be - determined and strong, or able to see light side of things more often. Which is often why we role play - to do what we deep down want to do, but can't. So we put it out in the game. Not saying everyone does, but some people are like that with some of their characters.
One thing for sure, they all enjoy music, each like it different, since I personally like many genres and types, too, but all my characters like to listen to music. Pretty much all of them find some aspect of nature beautiful or fascinating. Most tend to have artistic tendencies. So, yeah, you can get to know about me through my characters and I don't really find it bad. As long as it's not copied and pasted from one onto another, it does not make them lose their individuality.
On topic of characters growing up and changing, of course mine have too, the ones I have taken with me through the years, such as Leila. I did create her to take my anger and depression out and it does show through, but she, too, has matured, gained more reasons and become more (I hope) than your typical assassin who goes around slaughtering for silly "boo hoo, I was hurt once" cause. She's still the one I struggle with the most, to not let her slip into stereotypical and perhaps villain-Mary Sue type, however. I even created an older version of her (which I haven't had chance to play yet, sadly), to deal with the growing up we both have experienced.
Sometimes it's not so much the personalities themselves as the way I role play them that give away my own personal thoughts. I have rather versatile list of characters here, from somewhat snobbish heir-lady to nearly undead 'sorcerer' who steals people's dreams and ideas, rebellion leader, flirty dragon or cheery, fatally ill girl. Some are idealistic characters and there are those who have given up on all ideals, but on some level, they all seek out justice and fairness, only they all define and work for it differently. Even if it's revenge. Which, I guess, is what I would like to do and do, when I can.
Some share a mean side with me, with some I can play what I would like to be - determined and strong, or able to see light side of things more often. Which is often why we role play - to do what we deep down want to do, but can't. So we put it out in the game. Not saying everyone does, but some people are like that with some of their characters.
One thing for sure, they all enjoy music, each like it different, since I personally like many genres and types, too, but all my characters like to listen to music. Pretty much all of them find some aspect of nature beautiful or fascinating. Most tend to have artistic tendencies. So, yeah, you can get to know about me through my characters and I don't really find it bad. As long as it's not copied and pasted from one onto another, it does not make them lose their individuality.
On topic of characters growing up and changing, of course mine have too, the ones I have taken with me through the years, such as Leila. I did create her to take my anger and depression out and it does show through, but she, too, has matured, gained more reasons and become more (I hope) than your typical assassin who goes around slaughtering for silly "boo hoo, I was hurt once" cause. She's still the one I struggle with the most, to not let her slip into stereotypical and perhaps villain-Mary Sue type, however. I even created an older version of her (which I haven't had chance to play yet, sadly), to deal with the growing up we both have experienced.
This question is one I ask myself often. I never find an appropriate answer, though. I am not my characters, after all, and I do hold a balance between being connected and not. However, I am a method actress, so I know what is behind my characters. Others, though, may not.
To start, there is Tannis. Tannis was not named Tannis to begin with, and I may have given her a name I knew well. She is not a native to almost every land she enters, she has a fascination for clothing, and she does not keep her hands to herself on most every situation. She is not afraid of anything, she cannot see spirits, and she does not give away secrets. Tannis is my most beloved character, but I cannot say that those that read of her activities do not assume that I am as sexually active as my character. It may be true that I may have a fascination for splendidly decorated clothing and certain fabrics, and it may be true that I enjoy the subtleness of dialogue more than the blunt questions that plague my whisper boxes, at times. But I have never, ever, ever, never, ever, never been sexually active, except in my imagination, while method acting.
But Tannis is fun and exciting, and alluring, and all other kinds of adjectives that have been sent to me in praise of my wonderful character. But I am not Tannis.
On the other side of my cast of characters, I have Crow. Crow has been in a few roleplays, of which I always wonder if it is her that tends to break apart certain games. She is mean, she is unforgiving, and she is one of my favorite characters. I leap to my feet whenever I am able to portray her in a roleplay. Crow may be my answer to all of Tannis’s pleasant activities, as others may assume by comparing the two. However, Crow is more than Tannis’s opposite, she is her own character. Crow may speak like Tannis (which is without contractions), but that is because of her origin, and Crow is not pleasant in the least, and is not concerned that she is unpleasant to others. My connection to Crow may be that I dislike everyone’s characters (which is so untrue!), or it may be love for conflict within social settings, which does make them more interesting and Crow is bound to find something to point out and offer a few words on it, but Crow may have been my niche filler.
Crow is my experiment, and as an amateur scientist/wizard, I am highly loving towards my experiment. I weep when she may be slain, I giggle when those she speaks to have no idea what they are doing wrong. What is interesting, though, is that both characters had mothers, and they were removed from the equation. It may be said that I am their mother and I removed myself to watch and see how my characters would go on without me.
To start, there is Tannis. Tannis was not named Tannis to begin with, and I may have given her a name I knew well. She is not a native to almost every land she enters, she has a fascination for clothing, and she does not keep her hands to herself on most every situation. She is not afraid of anything, she cannot see spirits, and she does not give away secrets. Tannis is my most beloved character, but I cannot say that those that read of her activities do not assume that I am as sexually active as my character. It may be true that I may have a fascination for splendidly decorated clothing and certain fabrics, and it may be true that I enjoy the subtleness of dialogue more than the blunt questions that plague my whisper boxes, at times. But I have never, ever, ever, never, ever, never been sexually active, except in my imagination, while method acting.
But Tannis is fun and exciting, and alluring, and all other kinds of adjectives that have been sent to me in praise of my wonderful character. But I am not Tannis.
On the other side of my cast of characters, I have Crow. Crow has been in a few roleplays, of which I always wonder if it is her that tends to break apart certain games. She is mean, she is unforgiving, and she is one of my favorite characters. I leap to my feet whenever I am able to portray her in a roleplay. Crow may be my answer to all of Tannis’s pleasant activities, as others may assume by comparing the two. However, Crow is more than Tannis’s opposite, she is her own character. Crow may speak like Tannis (which is without contractions), but that is because of her origin, and Crow is not pleasant in the least, and is not concerned that she is unpleasant to others. My connection to Crow may be that I dislike everyone’s characters (which is so untrue!), or it may be love for conflict within social settings, which does make them more interesting and Crow is bound to find something to point out and offer a few words on it, but Crow may have been my niche filler.
Crow is my experiment, and as an amateur scientist/wizard, I am highly loving towards my experiment. I weep when she may be slain, I giggle when those she speaks to have no idea what they are doing wrong. What is interesting, though, is that both characters had mothers, and they were removed from the equation. It may be said that I am their mother and I removed myself to watch and see how my characters would go on without me.
What do they say about us? They say that we are so incredibly multifaceted that it is impossible not to incorporate a bit of ourselves into our own creations.
We tend to dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves. I think we embed our own more negative traits in our characters in equal amounts as positive traits.
You like a character because they are like you: they have qualities you admire whether it be physical/mental/etc, or embody your opinions/ideals.
I don't think anyone here has mentioned a character's appearance and how it pertains to the creator. I wonder why? Maybe we understand that clothes don't make the man. Mayne our characters have physical characteristics we wish we have.
I'd like to know how much our characters physically resemble us, especially characters that are a lot like us. The results could be interesting. How much of our own appearance do we pass down to our creations? How much does a character's appearance influence your opinion of them? Reading Prince of Thorns, I greatly disliked Katherine even before knowing who she was, because her appearance reminded me of Melissandre in ASoIaF.
I have a character I've never played before, Rhysanne. She's unearthly, mysterious, tall, middle-aged, graceful, confident, and wise.
I can't connect with her at all.
It's not easy to play someone more clever than yourself.
Julian is my desire for a close bond with someone and the worry of messing up. For years, he's tried to avoid relationships and interactions so as not to suffer the loss of a relationship or hurt someone physically and/or emotionally, but lately he's been slipping in that regard.
Vexam is the intellect people don't tend to notice in me, and the struggle between extraversion and intraversion. A bit of both, he can be flamboyant and excessive or tentative and indecisive. He's easy for me to play because he's outgoing in situations where I, too, can be gregarious, and because he is easily unmotivated and lacks confidence in himself.
We tend to dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves. I think we embed our own more negative traits in our characters in equal amounts as positive traits.
You like a character because they are like you: they have qualities you admire whether it be physical/mental/etc, or embody your opinions/ideals.
I don't think anyone here has mentioned a character's appearance and how it pertains to the creator. I wonder why? Maybe we understand that clothes don't make the man. Mayne our characters have physical characteristics we wish we have.
I'd like to know how much our characters physically resemble us, especially characters that are a lot like us. The results could be interesting. How much of our own appearance do we pass down to our creations? How much does a character's appearance influence your opinion of them? Reading Prince of Thorns, I greatly disliked Katherine even before knowing who she was, because her appearance reminded me of Melissandre in ASoIaF.
I have a character I've never played before, Rhysanne. She's unearthly, mysterious, tall, middle-aged, graceful, confident, and wise.
I can't connect with her at all.
It's not easy to play someone more clever than yourself.
Julian is my desire for a close bond with someone and the worry of messing up. For years, he's tried to avoid relationships and interactions so as not to suffer the loss of a relationship or hurt someone physically and/or emotionally, but lately he's been slipping in that regard.
Vexam is the intellect people don't tend to notice in me, and the struggle between extraversion and intraversion. A bit of both, he can be flamboyant and excessive or tentative and indecisive. He's easy for me to play because he's outgoing in situations where I, too, can be gregarious, and because he is easily unmotivated and lacks confidence in himself.
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The_Ross wrote:
Actually, none of my characters are anything like me.
Some are a little bit though.
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illantis wrote:
What do they say about us? They say that we are so incredibly multifaceted that it is impossible not to incorporate a bit of ourselves into our own creations.
We tend to dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves. I think we embed our own more negative traits in our characters in equal amounts as positive traits.
You like a character because they are like you: they have qualities you admire whether it be physical/mental/etc, or embody your opinions/ideals.
I don't think anyone here has mentioned a character's appearance and how it pertains to the creator. I wonder why? Maybe we understand that clothes don't make the man. Mayne our characters have physical characteristics we wish we have.
I'd like to know how much our characters physically resemble us, especially characters that are a lot like us. The results could be interesting. How much of our own appearance do we pass down to our creations? How much does a character's appearance influence your opinion of them? Reading Prince of Thorns, I greatly disliked Katherine even before knowing who she was, because her appearance reminded me of Melissandre in ASoIaF.
I have a character I've never played before, Rhysanne. She's unearthly, mysterious, tall, middle-aged, graceful, confident, and wise.
I can't connect with her at all.
It's not easy to play someone more clever than yourself.
Julian is my desire for a close bond with someone and the worry of messing up. For years, he's tried to avoid relationships and interactions so as not to suffer the loss of a relationship or hurt someone physically and/or emotionally, but lately he's been slipping in that regard.
Vexam is the intellect people don't tend to notice in me, and the struggle between extraversion and intraversion. A bit of both, he can be flamboyant and excessive or tentative and indecisive. He's easy for me to play because he's outgoing in situations where I, too, can be gregarious, and because he is easily unmotivated and lacks confidence in himself.
We tend to dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves. I think we embed our own more negative traits in our characters in equal amounts as positive traits.
You like a character because they are like you: they have qualities you admire whether it be physical/mental/etc, or embody your opinions/ideals.
I don't think anyone here has mentioned a character's appearance and how it pertains to the creator. I wonder why? Maybe we understand that clothes don't make the man. Mayne our characters have physical characteristics we wish we have.
I'd like to know how much our characters physically resemble us, especially characters that are a lot like us. The results could be interesting. How much of our own appearance do we pass down to our creations? How much does a character's appearance influence your opinion of them? Reading Prince of Thorns, I greatly disliked Katherine even before knowing who she was, because her appearance reminded me of Melissandre in ASoIaF.
I have a character I've never played before, Rhysanne. She's unearthly, mysterious, tall, middle-aged, graceful, confident, and wise.
I can't connect with her at all.
It's not easy to play someone more clever than yourself.
Julian is my desire for a close bond with someone and the worry of messing up. For years, he's tried to avoid relationships and interactions so as not to suffer the loss of a relationship or hurt someone physically and/or emotionally, but lately he's been slipping in that regard.
Vexam is the intellect people don't tend to notice in me, and the struggle between extraversion and intraversion. A bit of both, he can be flamboyant and excessive or tentative and indecisive. He's easy for me to play because he's outgoing in situations where I, too, can be gregarious, and because he is easily unmotivated and lacks confidence in himself.
I would like to strongly agree with the first paragraph, but not so much with second. I know for sure some of my characters I like because they're better than me, even if in one certain aspect and that is - determination (an example). Others, I can sympathize for their weakness or something that I've taken from my self and through Role Playing them, I attempt to get them and myself overcome it. Others, I like because they're interesting to play, and that could be due to their backstory, for example, or their inner struggles that I don't necessarily share.
I didn't mention physical appearance because I am moderately okay with mine and only thing that I pass down to some of my characters is dressing style or accessory choice. And they're more fit than I am, but they also have way more active lifestyle than I do, so it just makes sense. I know I on purpose created a Native American shapeshifter because I'm interested in their culture(s) (but with her background, she is on path of learning, not being all knowing, so, my own personal lack of knowledge in some aspects can't fully ruin her gameplay). *shrug*
Also, I did not mention appearances because for a long time, I used pictures from Internet as my inspiration, not created looks from out of my head, so I had little influence on them. Even now, when I put something together in my image-maker, it often comes before the actual character and I am not trying to remake myself, so nothing but the clothing style, at the most, can sneak into my character looks. And perhaps my own personal sense of beauty adjusts them all (depending if I want them to be beautiful or horrifying and so on), but that is another aspect of this discussion.
I have to second that it is sometimes hard to play someone more cunning, smart or witty than yourself. Not because I can't connect, but because I'm afraid I won't maintain that all through the game, but it challenges me and I've found my self figuring out things to do in situations I otherwise wouldn't.
I used to have quite a few more characters here, but they...didn't go the way I would have liked for them to. They either grew in ways I never wanted them to (Zuriel), never did live up to their core themes and tropes (The four gods that serve Vas), or never really caught my interest very much in the first place (Zaira). Thus, they now lie in the Land of the Eternally Deleted!
Basically, what I'm leading to with this is that I have only one character left that really matters to me much now, and that's my Lovecraftian entity of emptiness, Vastator. I've been led to think that, around here at least, Vas is a somewhat unique character among the majority of others here, likely even an anomaly of sorts. This may have something to do with the heavy Eldritch Abomination characterization I try to give him, or perhaps the omnicidal bent I haven't seen very much here. Now, considering that this thread is about what our characters reflect in us, this may make me seem to be very...troubled. I assure you that I am not trying to unmake all of creation, however, I would be more likely to try and stop such plots than to aid or even head them!
What Vas is to me is the embodiment of my interest in the bizarre and the unknown, similarly to how is is the sentient concept of nothingness and the entire place known as the Void. Well, why do I feel a need to make such a character, you may ask? You see, since before I was thirteen, I had shown quite an interest in the works of Howard Phillips Lovecraft and his famous Cthulhu Mythos especially. My dad has quite a few of Lovecraft's books, and he even has many of the gamebooks for the Chaosium tabletop roleplaying game adaptation, and I would read the monsterbook often. Eventually I began reading the novels as well, which sealed the deal for me. I've also played a great many video games, and it should be apparent to all that quite a few games borrow elements from Lovecraft, be they RPGs (western or eastern), FPSes, horror games, or even some platformers. I've been exposed to this form of fiction for so long, it's sunk deeply into my mind and has remained a great interest of mine ever since.
"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." That is a great quote of Lovecraft's, and I think it applies to my subject here quite well. Despite having many qualities that you might see in mortal beings (such as split personalities and a great interest in being a monster), Vastator also highly represents the unknown. I've already made it clear that looking at him for long enough can drive a man into the abyss of insanity, and most of all he's the representative of that endless gulf of darkness that resides beyond reality itself, something that few men known and less would even want to know. Nay, not a representative...he IS that endlessness.
In these ways and others, Vastator is also a great experiment of mine. I've always wanted to see how far I could take a character like this, to see how I could impact other characters and roleplayers with this truly fell example of the Other. Have you ever heard of people who would like to put other characters they like, perhaps even their favorites, through the proverbial wringer? You could consider me like that, to a degree - I like to mess around with other characters in various ways using Vastator, especially those I like. Of course I could also go the opposite way on them, but you get the point, I'm sure!
To put this in shorter terms, what Vastator says about me is that he is my interest in the unknown and the Other made manifest, reflecting all I've seen throughout fiction that relates, and also a massive experiment I've had in the works for years now.
Basically, what I'm leading to with this is that I have only one character left that really matters to me much now, and that's my Lovecraftian entity of emptiness, Vastator. I've been led to think that, around here at least, Vas is a somewhat unique character among the majority of others here, likely even an anomaly of sorts. This may have something to do with the heavy Eldritch Abomination characterization I try to give him, or perhaps the omnicidal bent I haven't seen very much here. Now, considering that this thread is about what our characters reflect in us, this may make me seem to be very...troubled. I assure you that I am not trying to unmake all of creation, however, I would be more likely to try and stop such plots than to aid or even head them!
What Vas is to me is the embodiment of my interest in the bizarre and the unknown, similarly to how is is the sentient concept of nothingness and the entire place known as the Void. Well, why do I feel a need to make such a character, you may ask? You see, since before I was thirteen, I had shown quite an interest in the works of Howard Phillips Lovecraft and his famous Cthulhu Mythos especially. My dad has quite a few of Lovecraft's books, and he even has many of the gamebooks for the Chaosium tabletop roleplaying game adaptation, and I would read the monsterbook often. Eventually I began reading the novels as well, which sealed the deal for me. I've also played a great many video games, and it should be apparent to all that quite a few games borrow elements from Lovecraft, be they RPGs (western or eastern), FPSes, horror games, or even some platformers. I've been exposed to this form of fiction for so long, it's sunk deeply into my mind and has remained a great interest of mine ever since.
"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." That is a great quote of Lovecraft's, and I think it applies to my subject here quite well. Despite having many qualities that you might see in mortal beings (such as split personalities and a great interest in being a monster), Vastator also highly represents the unknown. I've already made it clear that looking at him for long enough can drive a man into the abyss of insanity, and most of all he's the representative of that endless gulf of darkness that resides beyond reality itself, something that few men known and less would even want to know. Nay, not a representative...he IS that endlessness.
In these ways and others, Vastator is also a great experiment of mine. I've always wanted to see how far I could take a character like this, to see how I could impact other characters and roleplayers with this truly fell example of the Other. Have you ever heard of people who would like to put other characters they like, perhaps even their favorites, through the proverbial wringer? You could consider me like that, to a degree - I like to mess around with other characters in various ways using Vastator, especially those I like. Of course I could also go the opposite way on them, but you get the point, I'm sure!
To put this in shorter terms, what Vastator says about me is that he is my interest in the unknown and the Other made manifest, reflecting all I've seen throughout fiction that relates, and also a massive experiment I've had in the works for years now.
A friend put it pretty well to me once: "Your characters are almost like a self-portrait, whether they have absolutely nothing in common or they're all five foot one bunny girls." You came up with them, and like it or not, they reflect on you in most ways you'd expect and some you wouldn't. This is a cool thread, it's good to take a step back every now and then and get to know yourself.
One bad habit of my own I've found (not that there's a good or bad to begin with in this hobby, but I'm my own harshest critic) is that regardless of the genre they're made for all my characters look the damn same. I blame my tastes: six years ago everyone was a long white-haired prettyboy, owing I guess to too much anime and angst; now I've got too much superheroes and sci-fi in my diet and suddenly they all wear skintight suits. They've also almost always been within a few years of my age and inches of my height, whoops.
I try to not repeat myself too much with my characters but that's me. Armed with the knowledge of what your characters say about you, do you do anything with it?
One bad habit of my own I've found (not that there's a good or bad to begin with in this hobby, but I'm my own harshest critic) is that regardless of the genre they're made for all my characters look the damn same. I blame my tastes: six years ago everyone was a long white-haired prettyboy, owing I guess to too much anime and angst; now I've got too much superheroes and sci-fi in my diet and suddenly they all wear skintight suits. They've also almost always been within a few years of my age and inches of my height, whoops.
I try to not repeat myself too much with my characters but that's me. Armed with the knowledge of what your characters say about you, do you do anything with it?
I try to not repeat myself too much with my characters but that's me. Armed with the knowledge of what your characters say about you, do you do anything with it?[/quote]
I know I should say that this has given me insight and inspired me to think differently, but, like 10% of my characters, I'm lazy. They work well enough for me and any changes can be applied gradually as I develop my babies.
Unrelated: I don't becessarily like the physical apearance of all my characters, but I prefer them like this, whether they be ungainly, lanky sticks or slightly plump and middle-aged, with a violet complexion. It adds dimension, along with the knowledge that they have the capacity to change and develop.
I know I should say that this has given me insight and inspired me to think differently, but, like 10% of my characters, I'm lazy. They work well enough for me and any changes can be applied gradually as I develop my babies.
Unrelated: I don't becessarily like the physical apearance of all my characters, but I prefer them like this, whether they be ungainly, lanky sticks or slightly plump and middle-aged, with a violet complexion. It adds dimension, along with the knowledge that they have the capacity to change and develop.
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