Forums » RP Discussion » New to MxM Rp. Trying to learn.

Heya everyone!

So as the title says I am new to MxM rp and have made a character who may fit into that area and was wondering if anyone had tips for that sorta thing. Irl I'm not gay or bi so the details miss me a bit. Just trying to expand my rp wings so I can rp with more people. All the tips help. Thanks!

As a only MxM roleplayer,I know a thing or two.

When it comes to romance,It is basically like normal straight relationships,but they are both males,and react maybe differently,Some can be shy like a female,some can be tough,or some can be Mean even,not knowing how to show their true feelings to the one they like.

Another thing is,When it comes to Smut or Yaoi, There is a Dom and the sub,or switches,either way,And you can decide,or see what happens,when you roleplay to see where your character winds up in position.Again,Smut is just like Normal Straight smut,just Male on Male!

Wellll,I hope I was helpful!

If you ever want to get together to chat and/or roleplay,Don't be afraid to Dm!


-Incu

I'm a gay man so I'm going to throw in whatever comes to mind.

If you're going for realism, I strongly suggest looking for examples of MxM relationships outside of the yaoi and bl genres since those are often made by women, for women and portray a lot of tropes, stereotypes, and dynamics that aren't accurate to real MxM relationships. Same goes for a lot of fanfiction. Gay relationships can be very similar to straight relationships, but there are a lot of differences too. I find it easier to dispel stereotypes and myths than to try to explain what the relationships are like, since they vary a lot.

- Dom/sub is not exclusive to or necessary for MxM relationships.
Dom/sub/switch is also completely unrelated to position. I believe Incubus meant top/bottom/versatile. That topic isn't PG and the roles are nowhere near as important as people make it seem so I won't go into what they mean.

- There does not have to be one masculine partner and one feminine partner.
You'll see a tall masculine guy paired with a small feminine guy in a lot of fiction, but reality is more diverse than that. Fem can match with fem, masc can match with masc, and there are lots of people somewhere in-between, like me. On a related note: If a guy is feminine, that doesn't mean he's automatically a submissive bottom. Similarly, masc dudes aren't always dominant tops.

- MxM pairs don't need to have one top and one bottom.
Both partners can be bottoms, both can be tops, and one or both could be versatile. Hell, not every gay couple engages in the kind of things that require top/bottom roles in the first place.

- LGBT+ people may hold on to gender roles, norms, and stereotypes despite all of the above.
Since a lot of us are exposed to that stuff while growing up, it leaves an impression on us that can stick around for years after coming out. There are also gay men who are very conservative, traditional, and apply gender roles to their relationships. Not everyone unlearns what society has taught them about gender and relationships, and not everyone cares to.

- LGBT+ people may also struggle with internalized homophobia.
There's a lot of pressure to be a gay guy who isn't flamboyant or feminine. Some people even praise gay men who "pass" as straight. Some guys who recently discovered they're into other men might put up a front to hide it, or to do their best not to "seem" gay. This can influence relationships in a big way.

One of the partners could be very open about their orientation. They want to go to Pride events, they want to show off their boyfriend, they want to tell their friends and family, and they want to get immersed in LGBT+ history and culture. The other might want to stay in the closet and do everything they can to tone down aspects of themselves that they associate with being gay. Sometimes they might even overcompensate by acting "extra manly", showing more interest in women, and distancing themselves from their partner in public. In terms of roleplay, a character discovering their orientation can be a huge plot point since there are so many ways to go about it.

That's all I'll share for now, I feel like I rambled enough.

It's a sexual orientation, not a fanatic cult where us gays have a plethora of hidden codes and traditions. You will be fine writing them the same way as you would any other character; being gay does not fundamentally change a person's personality or lifestyle, unless you're going for some kind of plot that involves thorough homophobia/other problems that gay people in less tolerant areas face. Which, if you don't have any kind of familiarity with those issues, I strongly recommend you don't venture there at all.

Anything you've learned from yaoi, just forget it. Yaoi is a harmful culture made by straight women for straight women that grossly stereotypes gay men. It's on the same level as straight men fetishizing lesbians. No, gay relationships do not always have a girly man and a manly man. No, gay relationships do not focus solely on the personality dynamics of tops, bottoms, and switches~! There's more to gay people's personality than just their position preferences, and if you write one based on that, you've gone terribly astray.

At the end of the day, they're just normal people, so write them like normal people. Sexual orientation is just one of many character traits, and not something that should be the main focus of that character. Avoid stereotypes, don't engage in controversial issues that you haven't researched, and don't use typical MxM media as your reference point. You'll do just fine.