Forums » Smalltalk » What is Family?

It's something Google cannot define, so to the beautiful minds and writers of RPR, I pose this question. Without getting too self-centered about it, reading your answers will help stimulate my brain. This isn't intended to trigger debate or argument but the internet does what it will. Don't forget...it's NaNoWriMo.

PlzKThx

Family...is a difficult thing to describe, to say the very least. Is it the connection of blood? I would say not. Its something deeper than blood. A feeling. My uncle and God-father is not my grandparents son. He was in foster care, and they gave him a home. He stayed with them until he was old enough to set out on his own, and though he has talked to his real family, he still comes to our celebrations. He IS MY uncle. He is part of my family. To me, that is family. Someone who, whether or not related by blood, loves you, and even though you may betray them, or them you, you'll still welcome them into your home, just as they will welcome you. To me, that is what family is. A bond that lets you forgive, or forget, for a time. A bond that may be damaged, may be bent, or twisted, or even ripped, but can never be broken.

Thank you, I greatly appreciate that answer. (:

Technically, Google defines family in the most logical way possible:

But I suppose in a more in-depth definition, family is a social circle, most often defined by blood, wherein one shares the closest possible platonic and/or romantic relationship between two or multiple members. It thrives on friendship and trust, and serves the purpose of caring mutually for one another to increase your likelihood of survival. It has the added benefits of ensuring a mental well being by triggering all sorts of hormones that improve bonding and affection, which in turn contribute to a general feeling of belonging and happiness.

We're social creatures by nature, and family is the first social group we'll come in contact with, because we rely on our parents or caretakers to raise us and teach us how to survive and care for ourselves. This can really only be accomplished by maintaining a social circle, so we're pretty much hardwired to have a family.

This can also mean introducing non-blood relatives to our circle, such as adopting a child and declaring a very close friend as sibling or father/mother figure.

How far a family stretches is really a matter of personal preferences and situations. Just like there are varying degrees of friends and acquaintances, there are varying degrees of family members. If you have an aunt you've seen maybe 3 times since you were five years old, you will call her family only because she's blood related, even though she really falls more into the acquaintance label.

Some people don't have blood relatives and rely on close platonic friends to satiate their needs for social interaction and learning how to deal with our world and everything in it. In this case one can name a select number of close friends to be their family, even if they're not a family by blood.

The strength of family bonds varies greatly too. We as humans are capable of applying emotions and feelings to situations and people, and this often guides our responses and how we think about people.

Personally, unconditional love is not limited to family for me - it stands completely separate from it even. I have family members who are complete assholes and don't deserve to walk the face of this planet if it were up to me, but they're still family, bound to me by blood. This will always be no matter how much I deny it.

If we're talking unconditional love, I simply refer to these people as 'my loved ones'. This includes everyone important to me: my parents and my sister, my boyfriend, my best friend who is like a twin brother to me in terms of relationship, my select real life and online friends and my pets. I know that no matter how much I screw up, I can always count on them to be there for me in their own ways. They'll always have my back.

Ironically, they're a group related to each other through me and my relationship with them, so by definition they are a family of people through my social circle.

So, in my conclusion, I'd say that family is meaningless to me. I have family who mistreated me and my parents and sister horribly in ways that are inexcusable.

Instead I choose to use the words 'loved ones' to include all the people in my life who are important to me, whether they are blood related to me or not.

Thank you too, for being so very objective and sharing your own perspective! I've been dealing with some very grey areas where family is concerned, so that helped outline some logical specifics.