Forums » RP Discussion » Being offered too many choices?

I have a feeling that writing your own rejection letters is very very scary for many people. I don't recall ever getting a rejection PM despite frequently offering (anonymous) characters for a concept. I hope that there will be room for this in the future so that people find it less scary.

I am certain that is a part of it! There is room for it in the future, just not right this moment.

You guys have called the too-many-character-choices problem right: some people worry too much about would-be partners, but the vast majority worry too little. It's an innocent mistake, people do it thinking they're open-minded and considerate (or without thinking) but then oops! They've put the burden of creativity all on one person, and ten posts later they aren't feeling it/their partner has burned out/it just isn't working and they have no clue why. Like most interpersonal problems you can head this one off at the pass by putting yourself in the other person's shoes, i.e. check their character/s and then narrow down which of your own might attract them.

RPR will let you have a heap of characters, but that's counterproductive to the site's purpose of networking really great and engaging RP. The easy solution is to set characters on the backburner to Anonymous; they can still be found, but visitors to your page will only see the ones you're burning to play. Then you can tell people to pick whoever they want and it won't be a trap.

Edit again: Hum, I think I misread your post and now I don't quite understand it after all! Are you saying that the person who wants to offer a character reads the suggested character's profile/the plotline, and then proposes the relevant characters that would fit it? I read it different from that, sorry about my previous big rant!

Either way, there's been a suggestion made to label active/inactive characters that is a bit more efficient than marking them anonymous: http://www.rprepository.com/community/forumthread.php?t=5874

Honestly, I didn't think this was such a huge issue for some people. I actually enjoy looking through people's characters. It's quick and effective: Character A is designed for a sci-fi setting, and I'm looking for a fantasy-based plot. Instant elimination. Close tab, move on to the next character. Character B is high-strung and temperamental, which won't work with my character; and I want them to be able to work together without conflict. Close tab, move on. That took less then a minute, and I have a good idea of how someone writes. It's easy to choose one potential partner over the other based on how well their characters' profiles are written. Their suggestion(s), however, get top priority. I'll only carry out this procedure if they offer me the freedom of choice. Then it's a decisive accept-or-reject: yes, your character fits, or no, I habe something different in mind; maybe another time.

I know my character and plot idea best, so I know what I'm looking for in another character more than their creator. Another reason I like choice. I'm extremely picky so I like to give others wiggle room in that regard. I'll suggest a character based on what they've discussed in the Finder, but open up most or all of my characters for them to consider.

tl;dr: I like to do my research.

There are two problems with this. What about people who only play fantasy and have 10+ slots? Even if it takes two minutes to look at each character, you might miss a hidden gem in the profile because you're just scanning them. The second problem is if you have someone who has the beautifulyl detailed profiles by a lot of people - they don't always have basic information on them and instead they have put together stories and explanations about the personality and you might miss some key part of their personality.

Edit: Also, there are some characters that are primarily one genre, but can be adapted. This makes it problematic if this isn't listed or maybe it's one of those hidden gems, but because you open the profile and go "oh, well this is a fantasy character" you miss out on an amazing sci-fi character that just needs a little tweak to see.

This honestly only works if the user also has the right information on the profile that is easily accessible and organized. As a former moderator I've seen a lot of different profiles and had to read through a whole bunch (that didn't interest me at all) to filter for mature content more often than I care to recount, which may have a part in putting me off reading excess amounts of profiles. I also ran into a lot of poorly organized character profiles that either had no information at all that was useful, to being so overloaded with information that it made my head spin.

I also have a few friends who purposely withhold information from profiles. Key information that is best reserved for surprise plot twists in roleplay to be precise. If I read over a profile and don't know this information, I might think to myself "This isn't it". If I let that person make their pick, they might offer that character and say "There is information not on the profile that is very relevant to the plot, but I don't want to disclose it just yet to make it more interesting".

I also feel if you provide enough information about your character and plot, someone who is sensible and a good match with you for roleplay will be able to suggest a character that works out. But so what if it doesn't work out? Some characters look like they'll be the perfect match, but I also know from experience that sometimes they just don't mesh once they get to play together in the same story. There's always going to be a hit and miss in that regard, and no method is fool proof. That's why you can offer to try again.

I really understand your viewpoint after this discussion and I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. It's up to you how you make your pick and let others pick, I'm not in any position to demand you change this.

My reason for this discussion was mainly to gather some different viewpoints out and help each other understand why some methods of approach can be frustrating, and why people do it. Knowing if half the battle, right?

@ TheLily


Well, like I said, suggested characters get top priority. It's rare that a character isn't suggested. If options are provided, I might take a look at a couple of them but only if the suggested character doesn't fit. Hidden gems notwithstanding, if someone suggests a character, I'll take a look at it rather than complete the process of searching through piles of info.

I have a lot of time on my hands to look through profiles (I'm a kid), so this works and I don't skip over any hidden gems. I love looking through character profiles- you get to learn all sorts of information about the character and creator in terms of style and thought process.

The thing about purposely withheld information is that it's withheld. It's impossible to know of it unless it's mentioned. I don't know how this works. Shouldn't they be the ones proposing a game if they have this sort of information and intend to use it?

@Sanne

I know things don't always work out. But what do you mean by offer to try again? Try what again?

The problem I have when it comes to suggesting is not having enough information to feel that I can make a choice I'm confident with.

Demand I change this? I wasn't aware my methods were so controversial. It's just the best way for me to choose. When suggesting, I allow options in case my character doesn't fit. Like I said a while ago, I like specificity so I know exactly what character to suggest, and the Finder is just to brief for me.

In any case, I wasn't offering advice, just contributing with my method and opinion. It's what works for me. Something you might want to take into account. Or not, judging by how uncommon an enjoyment of looking through profiles is.

Just try a different character, talk over the plot with your RP partner, fiddle around with plot options and so forth. Talking it over with someone and pitching in ideas regularly is something that I've seen works out quite well for the majority of people. I've tried roleplaying characters with my friends' characters numerous times until we hit a combination that worked out well. Just because it doesn't work out the first time, doesn't mean that's the end of it.

I might be reading too much into it, but it seems as if you feel everything is definitely over and there are no new chances once you hit a speed bump. That's the general sense I'm getting from your posts, but please correct me if I'm wrong!

That's why you can always ask for more information before making a suggestion or presenting a full list to someone. In the RP Finder you don't have to instantly suggest a character, you can also send the player a PM asking specific questions. I always suggest avoiding a generalized question like "Can you tell me more about this?" and ask questions that help me narrow down my character list, such as "What time period will this take place in? What role does magic play in it? What is the final goal of the plot? Do you have any subplots in mind?" etc.

Once I have this information I'm able to narrow my suggestions down to less than a handful of characters myself.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything with it. I'm having trouble reading your posts right I think, because it feels like you're raising your hackles and feeling like my opinion (and possibly those of others) are a demand to change yours. I meant to clarify that just because your method doesn't work for me, doesn't mean you have to change it. You're free to do as you please, just as I am. You seemed as perplexed about this being an issue as I am perplexed that people consider this a norm, and the point of this discussion is to help each other understand why we tick the way we do. I can be a bit passionate with my opinions and have trouble catching the change of moods in time where people get upset with me about it. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

I am definitely taking your view into account. I accept and understand it and that it works for you, but it's just not something that works for me. I like looking at profiles, but I don't have the time to wade through list after list of characters when I ask for specific suggestions. It's still enjoyable to you, but after two years of moderating this site, the wind has been taken out of my sails as far as profile browsing goes. I spent a lot of time reading through profiles that didn't interest me to make sure there was no inappropriate content in it. When you do that for long enough, eventually it stops being fun, so when I do browse profiles I want to make sure they're profiles that look interesting enough to me. There's no point in doing something when it feels like a chore, right? I'm just trying to explain myself the same way you're explaining yourself - I just want to try and make people understand why this doesn't always work out.

Depends on the person, really. Some people are more approachable than others, and vice versa. I might not want to try again with someone after knowing how they handle things. Which is why I prefer the forum- you can see how someone discusses things with others so you can appeal to what they're looking for. The Finder's more... secretive. Private. Hidden. Not that it's a bad thing, but it makes things more cumbersome. Finding out what someone wants in a character and everything isn't as easy. For me, that is.


It just feels like I'm pestering someone for information. If they wanted questions, they'd make a forum topic for it. That's kind of the point of the Finder, isn't it? To make everything quicker without an interrogation.


I didn't think so until you brought up "I'm not in any position to demand you change this". To me it means you would if you could/if you were in a position to. I guess that's not what you meant.


I know there're flaws in the way I do things, but I've been RPing for around 5 months and I'm still learning. This kind of thing takes time.

The point is to find people who are online now and can play soon; it's not to shut down communication. I understand that it can feel scary to approach people, but perhaps a goal as you're learning is to get more comfortable initiating conversations? Almost no one will mind, and most people will enjoy it.