Forums » Smalltalk » The strange necessity of the inclusions of Romance

Does anyone else ever feel like a perfectly good roleplay prompt is ruined by the requirement of romance?

I feel like this almost every time I see it.

Sometimes, I suppose. Ruined is a stronger word than I would use because sometimes I like to toss a dash of romance into my stories, too. And if that's what the poster has their heart set on, then they should include it! But, I'm there with you in the action/adventure category, RTK!

I do want to clarify something. I have no problems with romance being included, people are free to make what they want to make. I however find it's requirement to sometimes, at lest in my opinion, just become a ham fisted point forced into a story in which none was needed.

That, or I find the characters just don't actually like each other all that much.

Of course this is from my own experiences and opinions.

I think it could make things interesting to have the opposite of a falling-in-love-by-accident roleplay, where the character are both looking for romance but end up just becoming best friends and going on an adventure. Hilarious. Conventional romance is weird and I think such things may be best defined on a person-to-person basis, so maybe it's something people haven't thought about in-depth. I don't know.
Hey fellas, maybe try 'I don't want romance but I do want a really good character connection and maybe some flirting?!'.

But some people probably like to look through genres of roleplay and see what else is in the story besides the genre. Like, a mystery with romance? But also it's got wacky chef characters and it's set in space? Or maybe one firmly in the Action genre, but it's got a lot of tender moments and poetry? It's probably a part of the adventure, for some people.

If you don't like firmly labeled genres, may I suggest that you create an ad tailored to your specific wants/needs in an RP? Or you could even message the creator of one and ask if the romance is necessary! I know I personally put things that are negotiable sometimes, and I'd probably rather hammer out a dent or something beforehand then have them ask in the middle of an RP if we can change something major... So, checking what's negotiable and non-negotiable in an RP is probably a good idea!

If it's not the general genre-labeling that bothers you, but the amount of people actually strongly requiring romance, well... I'm not sure what to say! You could post in the advertisement that you'd love the concept without the romance, and see if anyone else wants to play. Or see if the advertisement host would RP something else with you, if it's their writing that stands out.

I'm aware you weren't asking for advice, but if it's helpful to anyone, there we go!
Personally I often don't want to play romance either, but I've made my peace a little with the fact that some people just really like the lovely-dovey tingles, drama, and/or smoochy flirty banter stuff.

I think I understand where you're coming from. I used to feel tentative about reaching out to someone when romance was a requirement in their plot, because I didn't like the idea of it being an "obligation". I prefer to let romance develop organically and didn't want to risk feeling pressured (or wasting anyone's time) if there turned out to be no character chemistry. It used to discourage me, but I learned to change my perspective and approach, so nowadays there's very little that can "ruin" an RP prompt for me. I like how Juls and Shinyrainbowlithogra explained it, and at the risk of sounding like an echo chamber will add, communication is totally key. You could always run the risk of saying "I know you wanted romance in this, but if you're down for a platonic, pure adventure version / are okay with it being a "maybe" / have an opening later / want to come up with something similar..." etc. Worse case scenario they are simply in the mood for romance and you find another partner, best case scenario they are flexible and meet you partway!


tldr: absolutely been there, but don't let it discourage you!

I feel like ruined is a reach as well because seeing it as ruining anything doesn’t seem to consider the interests and wants on the person on the other side. I don’t like romance heavy plots but I don’t like the way the bunch of us complain and condescend about posts that do or don’t have romance / smut either, because it’s usually only us in the “no romance” gang doing stuff like this and we’re not usually very graceful about it haha. Half the time we make these posts while actively ignoring posts that Don’t include romance or while making the choice not to actually be like “hey I really like this plot but I was curious if we could do it without romance?” Like libertine said.

As someone who doesn't seek out romance I think that I feel where you're coming from for sure. The obligation for something can feel like a lot of pressure especially considering romance can be a bit fickle and sometimes we don't know how or where characters will end up taking relationships be they platonic or romantic. I don't agree with forcing things in RP overall.

Much like others have already stated communication is very important and talking to the prompt creator is not only possible, its necessary as it's unfair to assume others know what we want without being told. A quick "is it okay if romance doesn't work out?" Or "can we exclude the romantic please?" is a pretty easy clarification that forcing things won't be an option and then things can progress or end there.

That said, I think when someone says they want romance in their LFRP it means this is a key aspect of what they as the poster want. So I wouldn't agree that the prompt has been 'ruined' so much as it simply isn't something you are particularly looking for. It doesn't apply to you and thats okay. Much like someone looking for a slice of life RP isn't looking for a mech battle RP.

Ideas are always being recyled from books to movies and even RP, each time being different because no two minds are the same (I mean look at how many kidnapped princess LFRP's there have been, each has it's own flavor and uniqueness.) By removing the concept of romance it intrinsically changes what is being asked for. If you like someone's idea and want to play something similar only with platonic relations the fantastic thing about RPR is the ability to post a separate LFRP to find others who would like the same thing if the OP doesn't want to give up the romantic aspect.

I think it's important to keep in mind that when someone puts up a LFRP they are not only asking for what's important to them, but displaying it to the world and that can be a very vulnerable feeling. It's the first step in communication which is commendable and unless their idea is activity hurting or disparaging a specific person(s), place, or concept, we should understand that judging based on our own desires in RP is intrinsically unfair. I believe a prompt could only be ruined if someone insisted your own LFRP contain something you don't want, in which case the incompatibility would be clear and RP would never take place.

Even though I'll probably just, in my own way, parrot the others before me, I'll add my two cents.

When I put up a LFRP and putting up the stuff I'm looking for, I mention that romance is optional, but it isn't the main focus. Heck. Even when I had it that my elf Captain was able to go into some type of romance plot, after being saved from the slave market, it didn't mean it would actually happen. Because if there isn't the right chemistry, then what's the point?

In bringing up the concept of it being optional you have missed the point entirely.

I'm talking specifically about the situations where it is non-negotiable.

I was just simply saying that's what I do. If it's non negotiable, then the advise I'd suggest is to say thanks but no thanks.

If the parameters are set so narrow for this topic by the OP, then there is really nothing to talk about. Simply scroll on if romance is a requirement in an LFRP request thread because you aren’t interested in it.

Big romance junkie here and most, though not all of my rps involve it. While I can't speak for everyone, I assume some of us just really enjoy romance. For me to enter into a rp where romance isn't a good chuck of the rp, there has to be something else to grab my attention which can be tricky. So I am a bit of the opposite here where I tend to search almost exclusively for it, save for the rare instance which manages to draw my attention with something else.

For some of us, it's just a matter of taste.

Does this mean that you read the information for a roleplay prompt and think its good except for the romance required part?

It is all about preference. They have a good story romance didn't ruin it for them, its ruining the prompt for you because that aspect may not appeal to you/others as it does to them/others who want romance in rp.

That doesn't make the prompt any less good. Its a good prompt but not for me because of the romance. Makes more sense.


Now I for one believe if romance is included it still has to properly develop. But others may like the idea of love at first sight or have it start of with instant romance. To each their own for that.

But if someone wants romance in a rp they put up that's what they want. Also I think you can search with romance at none to help find what you are looking for (I could be wrong though.)

"Also I think you can search with romance at none to help find what you are looking for (I could be wrong though.)"

Although you're technically correct, you will find 0 results.

But that's also missing the point again, I'm not saying romance on its own is bad. I'm saying it being a non-negotiable hard requirement often completely dissuades me from what I find to be an otherwise interesting idea.

That's too bad! But you can just use the idea or something similar, and set up a prompt/RP request with no romance allowed, right?
If it's more of an OCD thing where you just want to browse results and not see romance anywhere, I guess I could understand that that's annoying.

I do Romance in my RPs, but not as a requirement. I prefer wholesome platonic RPs and it really depends if the characters have the right chemistry. So I guess I can say that I sympathize with this. For instance, there was one time I had this RP with a friend, but they kept insisting to ship their character with mine and stuff, and it was only the beginning of the RP! So I was like "DUDE! Shtop! Don't force my chara to go on a date with yours. Literally." and the whole idea of my character being romantically involved with their character just didn't work for me at all. It felt so forced and unnatural. Knowing that they would already end up together really gets rid of the fun and excitement when developing character relationships. So, yeah. If romance is ever involved, I prefer it to be natural and when the time comes where it seems like the characters do fit together, I would ask my RP partner how they feel about it. But if it ends up being too obvious that they like each other in the RP, then I guess there's no need. Consent is also important to me when it comes to matching my characters with others. So, again, romance ain't required unless fit.

Ruined is a very strong word, and it’s incredibly subjective. It’s ruined to you, but if that’s what the poster has in mind, then that’s what they want. You’re welcome to not engage if you don’t want.

On that note, as someone who often leaves the door open for romantic options, most people open to it are also open to NOT engaging in it. I’ve had partners ask if we could leave the romance out or tweak it (I had one plot that included some WONDERFUL unrequited love which was beautiful fitting with the story), and given romance usually isn’t entirely necessary to a plot, it never really harms the situation! Now if it’s a plot that’s leaning on the established romance or falls into tropes the poster likes (enemies to lovers, arranged marriage that becomes real, lovers reconnecting after years, etc) then you might not want to RP with them. It’ll take away from what they had in mind, and may cause them to lose interest fast- if they go post with something specific in mind, they may not be too happy when they lose what they felt made their story appeal to them. It’s on personal preference.

Don’t be afraid to just ask if you can leave the romance out. It never hurts and if they say no, then you just weren’t meant to write together. Nothing is ruined, you’ve just got different preferences for how the story goes. I’ve never felt slighted or insulted when someone asked to leave a romance out of an RP, and even I have established rules on letting them form naturally unless it’s going to be a major plot point. Your partners are more often than not, just eager to write with another person.

That may be true but based on the scale the lower percentage doesn't require romance but says it may happen but isn't required maybe try the 1-3 on the scale.

Also you don't have to think romance is bad to have that opinion but if what is causing you disinterest is because romance seems non-negotiable (i'm assuming you ask them if that is the case.) Then i can see being bothered that an idea you like isn't an option for you because of the romance, but you could always ask if you could use the idea for yourself with different twist.

Also, some people have romance as an option but it only happens if a character meshes.

If you haven't been asking at all then you'll never know if there is a possibility or alternative.

You're missing the point, that has nothing to do with the question I asked.

I am not challenging anyone, nor am I looking for answers or asking for advice.

Almost everyone here seems to have missed the point entirely.

Hi! Sorry if we aren't following your "point." But the majority, including me, just wanted to give our own opinions on romance in roleplays. But anyway, I'm not here to defend, challenge, give advice, or etc. I just want to clarify your point.

Correct me if I am wrong. So you're saying that "non-negotiable" romance or "mandatory"(?) romance can sometimes or often mess up a roleplay or roleplay prompt, right? But in what sense? What do you mean by this? How does it "ruin" an RP for you in particular? Is it because it doesn't give your character or anyone's character the freedom to have their own feelings 'cause it is an already fixed-deal? Almost like a forced fate? Like "I have to love this person" cause it is a romance RP or romance is a necessity in this RP? Is it because when there is romance included, there are certain genders (like MxM, FxM, FxF, etc) or categories that are preferred and you do not fit those categories? Hence, you cannot join that particular RP? Or are you trying to state that it bothers you that most RPs treat romance as a necessity? And you wish that there can be more RPs that DO NOT include romance?

I am not saying that you are against the idea of romance in RP. You are actually open to it. It is the fact that most RPs that you have encountered often have high or mandatory romance included. Again, you just wish to see less of that? Maybe.

I think the reason why this topic was misunderstood is because you might have missed a few content out. Maybe sharing a particular experience or scenario can help make everyone understand what you are saying or asking. But if any of what I asked or stated are correct or have somewhat clarified your topic already, then to the question, yes. Sometimes. I kinda feel it can. If not and I made it more complicated, sorry.