uhh hi i’m coming back to this platform after three years and realized my characters need some serious shaping. so there’s this character i’m working on right now named cedus, and here’s a brief description:
in this land, there’s a tree called the half tree. it’s very hard to get to, but if you do everything correctly in the temples leading up to the tree, it’ll bound you and your soulmate together with a red string. you get a white heart somewhere on an accessory, and a white star necklace. cedus had completed the temples, and had been trying to for years. they were very dangerous, but they managed to finally do it. cedus and louis were soulmates and found each other, and so they both have white star necklaces, cedus has a white heart hair clip, and louis has a white heart in his top hat. the thing is, they had already met, and cedus had put on a fake identity of being an accountant, when in reality, they were a hitaman. they lived together for a few years, cedus still keeping up the charade. eventually, they decided to tell louis, and louis went off. one half of both their hearts was black, and the star necklace was black. that means that the string will be cut if they don’t do something about it soon. they haven’t seen each other in five years. louis has been searching for cedus throughout those five years, while cedus just tried to forget. cedus was hired by melody, louis’s ex-girlfriend, to kill him. and cedus had to follow orders.
any ideas on how i can help evolve the backstory? any help would be greatly appreciated!
in this land, there’s a tree called the half tree. it’s very hard to get to, but if you do everything correctly in the temples leading up to the tree, it’ll bound you and your soulmate together with a red string. you get a white heart somewhere on an accessory, and a white star necklace. cedus had completed the temples, and had been trying to for years. they were very dangerous, but they managed to finally do it. cedus and louis were soulmates and found each other, and so they both have white star necklaces, cedus has a white heart hair clip, and louis has a white heart in his top hat. the thing is, they had already met, and cedus had put on a fake identity of being an accountant, when in reality, they were a hitaman. they lived together for a few years, cedus still keeping up the charade. eventually, they decided to tell louis, and louis went off. one half of both their hearts was black, and the star necklace was black. that means that the string will be cut if they don’t do something about it soon. they haven’t seen each other in five years. louis has been searching for cedus throughout those five years, while cedus just tried to forget. cedus was hired by melody, louis’s ex-girlfriend, to kill him. and cedus had to follow orders.
any ideas on how i can help evolve the backstory? any help would be greatly appreciated!
Hai, I'm Jai!
'In this land, there’s a tree called the ¹Half-Tree. It’s very hard to get to, but if you do everything correctly in the ²temples leading up to the tree, it’ll bound you and your soulmate together with a red string. A white heart will appear somewhere on your persons as an accessory alongside a white star necklace. ³Cedus had completed the trials within all temples after trying for years; it was very dangerous tasks, but they managed to finally do it. Cedus and ³Louis were soulmates and found each other, so they both have white star necklaces- Cedus has a white heart hair clip, and Louis has a white heart embroidered his top hat. Despite being soulmates deeply in love, Cedus had put on a fake identity of being an accountant, when in reality, they were a hitman. The two lived together for a few years since traversing up to Half-Tree, but Cedus still kept up the charade. Eventually, they did decide to tell Louis about their secret, and Louis went off in anger and betrayal. Resulting in one half of both their hearts to turn black as well as the star necklace, signifying that the string will be cut if they don’t do something about it soon. Five years later filled with Louis continuously searching for his lost lover and Cedus just trying to forget what they had before, Cedus was hired by ³Melody, Louis’ ex-girlfriend, to kill him...
...and Cedus had to follow orders.'
I changed a bit of the structure of the peice above, but you obviously don't have to keep it- it's mostly just flow control.
Also a very warm welcome back!
¹ I think it'd be nice to know a bit more about this Half-Tree; it's origin, where it's located in the land, the legends/myths associated with it and where they come from, what it looks like/what kind of tree it is, maybe how old it is or if there's any offerings made to it, is it associated with a deity or is it it's own thing?
² How many temples are there? Where are they located in the land and in reference to the Half-Tree? What do they look like and how to they differ from each one? What are the challenges inside them like and how many per temple? How old are the temples? Who built them? What are they made out of? How big is each one?
³ Besides being the soulmates thing and relationships, there's next to no other information on the characters and their lives, which is understandable if it's just a brief overview sort of thing. Having backstories like who their families are, school, how and when they met each other, how Cedus learned and wanted to go to the Half-Tree, how they prepared, the ages when it happened, how they got into hit work, why Melody wanted Louis dead, etc.
I think the general idea of what you have doesn't really need changing! It just needs more detail and to be strung together a bit more~ All of that is something you obviously don't have to do, completely up to you!
Thank you for your time, consideration, and for reading!
'In this land, there’s a tree called the ¹Half-Tree. It’s very hard to get to, but if you do everything correctly in the ²temples leading up to the tree, it’ll bound you and your soulmate together with a red string. A white heart will appear somewhere on your persons as an accessory alongside a white star necklace. ³Cedus had completed the trials within all temples after trying for years; it was very dangerous tasks, but they managed to finally do it. Cedus and ³Louis were soulmates and found each other, so they both have white star necklaces- Cedus has a white heart hair clip, and Louis has a white heart embroidered his top hat. Despite being soulmates deeply in love, Cedus had put on a fake identity of being an accountant, when in reality, they were a hitman. The two lived together for a few years since traversing up to Half-Tree, but Cedus still kept up the charade. Eventually, they did decide to tell Louis about their secret, and Louis went off in anger and betrayal. Resulting in one half of both their hearts to turn black as well as the star necklace, signifying that the string will be cut if they don’t do something about it soon. Five years later filled with Louis continuously searching for his lost lover and Cedus just trying to forget what they had before, Cedus was hired by ³Melody, Louis’ ex-girlfriend, to kill him...
...and Cedus had to follow orders.'
I changed a bit of the structure of the peice above, but you obviously don't have to keep it- it's mostly just flow control.
Also a very warm welcome back!
¹ I think it'd be nice to know a bit more about this Half-Tree; it's origin, where it's located in the land, the legends/myths associated with it and where they come from, what it looks like/what kind of tree it is, maybe how old it is or if there's any offerings made to it, is it associated with a deity or is it it's own thing?
² How many temples are there? Where are they located in the land and in reference to the Half-Tree? What do they look like and how to they differ from each one? What are the challenges inside them like and how many per temple? How old are the temples? Who built them? What are they made out of? How big is each one?
³ Besides being the soulmates thing and relationships, there's next to no other information on the characters and their lives, which is understandable if it's just a brief overview sort of thing. Having backstories like who their families are, school, how and when they met each other, how Cedus learned and wanted to go to the Half-Tree, how they prepared, the ages when it happened, how they got into hit work, why Melody wanted Louis dead, etc.
I think the general idea of what you have doesn't really need changing! It just needs more detail and to be strung together a bit more~ All of that is something you obviously don't have to do, completely up to you!
Thank you for your time, consideration, and for reading!
I just saw this, thank you so much! The Half-Tree had just formed itself over time, in the Moonlit Forest, which is a dangerous and dark forest. There are three temples, and once they enter, a door opens up for them to pass through. I hadn't gotten to developing them that far yet. They have developed backstories, this was just an overview. Again, thank you!
Elizabeaker wrote:
I just saw this, thank you so much! The Half-Tree had just formed itself over time, in the Moonlit Forest, which is a dangerous and dark forest. There are three temples, and once they enter, a door opens up for them to pass through. I hadn't gotten to developing them that far yet. They have developed backstories, this was just an overview. Again, thank you!
No worries!
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