Posted by Kim on December 6, 2012, 12:11pm
Happy Festival of Being Excellent to Each Other, friend! It's that special time of year where we focus on a topic that can help tune up our OOC friendships and community so we can keep on having drama-free games all year long!Yesterday, we talked about sending a very difficult message: Asking someone if they can alter or explain their behavior to help with hurt feelings or other social fallout.
Now we're going to talk about what to do if you receive that message.
First thing's first: You must answer. Right now. This very second. If you value your friendship with this person, or you value the potential of friendship with that person, or you value the social circle you and this person are both a part of, you need to answer that message. Even if it's tough.
If you don't know what to say, say that! But say it quickly. "Wow, I had no idea. I am so surprised I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry you were so unhappy. Can I take a day or two to do some soul searching before we have a good chat about this?"
Notice that this response is friendly, it acknowledges the other person's feelings, but it doesn't admit to having done something wrong -- it just contains a promise to think about it.
It can be difficult or hurtful to receive a message saying you hurt someone's feelings, but resist the urge to shout, insult or throw blame back. It won't make your friend any happier with you. It won't help at all! If you've got your own beef, be open to acknowledging issues on both sides.
If you cultivate the skill of being curious and asking questions rather than being defensive, you will rapidly become a pinnacle of the community, and the sort of person that RP groups revolve around and depend on. You will be... epic.
Hope your Holiday season is going great! A Merry Festival Of Being Excellent To Each Other to all!
Comments
An astute observation, Mr. Terel! *sherlock holmes pipe*
Thank the RP Gods for my natural curiosity then... hmmm... maybe that's why I so like feline-like character 
TornBySanity
December 6, 2012
1:23pm