Posted by Kim on December 4, 2013, 1:17pm
Merry Festival of Being Excellent to Each Other! I've been seeing beautiful well-wishes flying across the site since we kicked off the festivities yesterday. The kudos page is full of inspiration and holiday cheer!As you know, the true spirit of FOBETEO is strengthening our relationships with RP partners and our entire RP communities, so that the game can last on and on. Reminding people of their goodness and their importance to you is a wonderful thing, and goes a long way to keep a community healthy -- but now and again, stronger stuff is called for.
No matter how awesome you both are, it's nearly impossible to spend weeks, months or years with someone and not eventually have a problem of some variety. Normally, these are just harmless misunderstandings -- but if the misunderstanding isn't cleared up, they can go from harmless to disaster in a hurry. Frightening as it can be to "rock the boat," having the courage to mention that you were confused or hurt by an offhand comment (or repeated behavior) can save a RP relationship and even prevent a two-person drama from devolving into an all-out "taking sides" war within a larger community.
Do you like your friends? Do you want to hurt their feelings? Obviously, you don't! Even if you are initially taken off guard, I bet that you would much prefer it if your friends told you when you'd accidentally hurt them so that you could make it right. Your friends probably feel the same way -- they don't like making you unhappy, and would almost certainly rather know than have their own feelings "protected."
Sometimes, the nicest thing you can do for a friend is find the courage to sit them down for a heart to heart.
Besides, you're here to RP! Given the nature of RP, you can only game when your RP partners are turning up to game as well. If your RP partners choose to stop playing instead of telling you what's wrong, you're not having fun anymore! Talking stuff out can be difficult, but it's much more fun for everyone than the alternative.
So on this second day of FOBETEO, take a moment to reflect on your RP friendships of the past year. Think about when you "let things slide" in an attempt to be a "team player," and really consider: Did it make the team stronger, or did it just create new distance in a previously promising friendship? Is it possible that your friends have done the same?
If you have people in your life that you love, people that you love to play with, or games you don't ever want to end, let's take pre-emptive holiday action to protect them! Message your bestest best RP buddies today, and tell them how much you adore playing with them, what you like about them OOC, and then tell them: "If I ever accidentally hurt your feelings or bore you, I want you to tell me right away. Even if it isn't fun to hear, I like you too much to ever want to let this fall apart. I'm open to any tough talk any time, okay?"
This is true mastery of being excellent to each other. Here's to many more years of drama-free gaming together!
Need more resources on keeping your RP friendships healthy and drama-free for the long haul? Check out this compilation of previous FOBETEO topics: Preventing & Dealing with Drama
Looking for great gifts for your RP friends this FOBETEO season? This week, use the coupon code FOBETEO to get 10% off on RPR t-shirts and tattoos!
Comments
Quite right indeed. 
heh, just be chill and talk it out or no one has any fun right?
@Tashesto Whoa! Party on, dude! You caught me. 
"Be excellent to each other!"
Bill and Ted reference, right?
Bill and Ted reference, right?
Kat2000
December 5, 2013
6:45pm