Posted by Kim on December 13, 2013, 10:52am
There's been something strange about this year. It's been enormously difficult for me in some very unusual ways. Many of the people who are closest to me in my life also went through long and painful trials of their own, and I've received more letters this year from Repository members talking about health problems, financial problems, personal problems, and all other varieties of doom and gloom than ever before.I don't know what it is about this year, but it's been a hard one.
So I wanted to use this final post in the Festival of Being Excellent To Each Other to share a concept that has recently brought me great strength and comfort in times of panic unlike any other I've been through before. I hope that it brings you some comfort as well.
The "kobayashi maru" test is something that all Star Fleet cadets must take before their graduation. Cadets are told that it is an important test of leadership, and that a great deal is riding on it. A good grade might mean a better rank or being assigned to a better ship upon graduation. What most don't know going in is that it is a test that is always failed.
In this test, the young cadet takes the role of captain on a simulated mission wherein a civilian ship full of people has malfunctioned and drifted off course into the neutral zone - a band of space that, if entered, will immediately trigger fighting and potentially all-out war with the race of hostile aliens who live beyond the neutral zone. The cadet must decide whether to watch the ship full of civilians die a certain death, or rescue them at the risk of their own crew and indeed, perhaps also the deaths of many more civilians in a potential future war. Either way, the captain is going to be responsible for someone's death. In many versions of this test, things are programmed to go so wrong that war is started and the civilians are lost no matter what.
And no matter what, for a time afterward, the cadet is treated by their professors as if they failed, and failed badly.
Why do this? Why force people to take a test where there is no right answer?
Because what is truly being tested in the kobayashi maru scenario is the cadet's ability to deal with failure. Do they panic and make rash decisions, or are their risks calculated and their decisions honorable? Afterwards, are they crushed by the failure? Do they wash out of Star fleet? Is their other work affected? Do they obsessively replay the scenario in their heads to punish themselves, or do they analyze and decide what they will learn from it and change in the future?
The kobayashi maru is about recognizing that not all of life is under your control. Ships will explode. Communications will break down. Decisions will be made based on available information that later turns out to be dangerously incomplete. Friends might be lost. The real question is, regardless of what resulted, can you be proud of your own actions? If you stood up for what you thought was right, it gets easier to look at a failure and take strength from it.
This is a lesson that is important to every single one of us living on this earth (and beyond,) whether we are training to become Star Fleet captains or just a member of a RP group.
Keeping a clear head and doing the right thing under fire - even if that fire is the pain of someone calling you names or not appreciating your nice gestures - is an enormously difficult skill that needs to be practiced. But when "mastered," it can change your life. It can let you look back without regrets even when things didn't turn out the way that you wanted. It will let you admit mistakes without admitting defeat. And it shows those around you what kind of person you really are. It's easy to be a good friend when things are good, but just as easy to snap, accuse, deny or not consider someone else's possible view points or motivations when feeling threatened.
(As an aside: In the original Star Trek series, Kirk is said to have been the only person ever to have passed the kobayashi maru test. He did this by hacking into the academy's computers and replacing the simulation with an easier one of his own. Although he is praised for having "redefined the problem," he has also, in a very real way, failed the test of dealing with failure.)
If you find yourself in a kobayashi maru test in your own life, where no matter what you do, eggs are going to be broken, remember that you still have a choice about how to fail, and that that choice matters just as much as anything else that you will do in life. If you are going to lose the external battle, what part of yourself is most important for you to cling to? Gather up your best self, gather up your courage and honor and empathy, and know that you CAN be a good person even in a bad situation.
Be Excellent To Each Other, and be Excellent to the best version of yourself. Even though the festival comes but once a year, its principles hold true every day.
Happy holidays, my friends. May you live long and prosper!
Next: Site will be closed Dec 15 at 2:00am PST for maintenance »
« Previous: How to leave a RP the right way
Comments
well said and executed I agree wholeheartedly
So glad it's been helpful to you guys too!
Yuka
December 14, 2013
4:01pm
Very well-worded, and an interesting, eye-opening read too 
This is so true. But as they say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Mmm, this is really relevant to my life right now actually. Fantastic post
I think this was something I needed to hear. Thankyou for sharing it... it has me seriously thinking about things.
This was a very pleasant read with my current situation. I just re-aranged the meaning of the whole thing to work to my situation. Basically, you need to make the best of your situation and not dwell too long on the bad parts and focus on the good things. Thanks, this cheered me up a lot after reading.
I was having a conversation with a friend about this, and a few things got said that I wanted to summarize as a follow up:
I couldn't have said it better, Darth!
Quote:
Kim G.: I think true no-win situations are relatively rare, so we get very little opportunity to practice them
Kim G.: And very little advice is given about them, most advice is focused on salvaging the 99% of situations that have even a slim chance of being fixed.
Kim G.: So when we end up in them we just reel and panic and freak out.
Darth A.: Or we could be in one of those 99% situations but think it's a no win situation, end up acting badly or not at all which ruins any chance of it being solved
Darth A.: When choosing the best way to fail might actually solve it.
Kim G.: And very little advice is given about them, most advice is focused on salvaging the 99% of situations that have even a slim chance of being fixed.
Kim G.: So when we end up in them we just reel and panic and freak out.
Darth A.: Or we could be in one of those 99% situations but think it's a no win situation, end up acting badly or not at all which ruins any chance of it being solved
Darth A.: When choosing the best way to fail might actually solve it.
I couldn't have said it better, Darth!
*wild applause*
First off: Love the analogy. I am a big Trekkie (Klingon mostly, Qapla!)
But for the most part, I have had lost friends treat my lack of participation on weekends as if I didn't want to be there, and in some part they were right. But no matter what I tried to explain to them, for the most part that I didn't want to travel to see them, and that I didn't have the energy to really even leave my house sometimes, it was never enough. I dealt with a problem that arose, and one of them felt it was necessary to reopen said problem between me and another friend and fix it their way. I tried to explain that our situation was remedied and only time could really fix it now, but that was out of the question. I lost a couple friends because they seemed to refuse to see things in any other way than theirs.
I still handled it the way I think it should have been, and in my mind that was the only way to handle it. So this really helps back up my logic in my decisions from that.
But for the most part, I have had lost friends treat my lack of participation on weekends as if I didn't want to be there, and in some part they were right. But no matter what I tried to explain to them, for the most part that I didn't want to travel to see them, and that I didn't have the energy to really even leave my house sometimes, it was never enough. I dealt with a problem that arose, and one of them felt it was necessary to reopen said problem between me and another friend and fix it their way. I tried to explain that our situation was remedied and only time could really fix it now, but that was out of the question. I lost a couple friends because they seemed to refuse to see things in any other way than theirs.
I still handled it the way I think it should have been, and in my mind that was the only way to handle it. So this really helps back up my logic in my decisions from that.
Abigail_Austin
July 2, 2019
3:06pm