Posted by Sanne August 24th 2018, 5:09am
One of the things that helps people who struggle is to set clear boundaries. Setting boundaries is an important aspect of self-care to help prevent mental and physical overload, and is a practice of consent, but it's also a challenging task for many.
A common misconception is that saying "no" means you're being mean, rude or even selfish. This isn't true at all!
People who set their boundaries are only taking care of themselves. It's ensuring that you are the best you can be, for yourself and others. It's avoiding hurting yourself by not taking on things you know you're unable to handle right now. It's the equivalent of saying "I want to hear you out/help you right now, but I really need to pee first. Let me take care of that and I'll get back to you when I can." We recognize the need to take care of our basic needs and it's not considered rude to take care of that first. Boundaries work much in the same way.
It's difficult because many of us never quite learned how to say no for a variety of reasons. Society has also implied that if you don't drop everything and do something for others right away, you're a bad person. (You're not!) Sometimes, people respond negatively as well, making a next attempt much more intimidating.
Our wonderful mod Novalyyn has created a fun little exercise of setting boundaries and accepting other people's boundaries that can help us practice in a safe and controlled environment.The goal is to respond to a request and turning that person down in a polite but firm way. Said person then acknowledges they were turned down but they understand.
Why not check it out and come practice with us whenever you're up for it?
Check out the topic below!
No Thank You: A consent & boundary game
A common misconception is that saying "no" means you're being mean, rude or even selfish. This isn't true at all!
People who set their boundaries are only taking care of themselves. It's ensuring that you are the best you can be, for yourself and others. It's avoiding hurting yourself by not taking on things you know you're unable to handle right now. It's the equivalent of saying "I want to hear you out/help you right now, but I really need to pee first. Let me take care of that and I'll get back to you when I can." We recognize the need to take care of our basic needs and it's not considered rude to take care of that first. Boundaries work much in the same way.
It's difficult because many of us never quite learned how to say no for a variety of reasons. Society has also implied that if you don't drop everything and do something for others right away, you're a bad person. (You're not!) Sometimes, people respond negatively as well, making a next attempt much more intimidating.
Our wonderful mod Novalyyn has created a fun little exercise of setting boundaries and accepting other people's boundaries that can help us practice in a safe and controlled environment.The goal is to respond to a request and turning that person down in a polite but firm way. Said person then acknowledges they were turned down but they understand.
Why not check it out and come practice with us whenever you're up for it?
Check out the topic below!No Thank You: A consent & boundary game
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